The Only Way To Go

Time has slipped away from me. I spent one week adjusting to being a Grandma. Another week adjusting-even though we have been prepared over 2 years- to the fact that My Daughter JOINED THE MARINES and is at boot camp. Then another week just settling. Then a few more days just being quiet because all that adjusting wore me out. We're settling into a new way of life.

My very first post 4 years and two months ago was "There Are No Cheerleaders Here".

But, as I look about my home now I see,
There Are No Grounded Girls Here

I have raised them. I have finally got them off the ground. They are all three women now.

During the course of this blog Biggest married and is now A Mother, Littlest, my sarcastic 14 year old has transformed into A Marine Corps. Recruit. And Middlest, who spurred the creation of this blog with my frustration with her.. like a phoenix, is rising up and beginning again with a new job and her own place. She has always followed her own path, heard the beat of her own drummer and she will make it wherever she is going and do it in her own way. That's just who she is.
And that's ok with me : )

We have had as much excitement and drama here in the last 3 months as we have had in all the years I had teenagers put together.

But of course, what other way would the Grounded Girls make their exit?


I love this blog more than I can express. It's like a limb. A piece of our lives that I have nurtured and cared for and documented. But it is complete. That doesn't mean I'm gone. Just like in my real life I'm simply moving on the next phase.  I appreciate everyone who has walked with me and read the journey of my girls growing into women. Even those who visited for awhile and then detoured off to other roads. But most of all, those who came at the beginning and stuck around no matter what my world would bring, and those who came in at the middle of my mess, looked around, and actually stayed anyway ; ) For all of you who are still around please follow me to my 'other place', if you haven't already. Despite the occasional 'other stuff ' this blog is dedicated to my daughters, on the other, we might be visiting more varied topics and of course the girls will be there too. They're just grown not gone. I certainly hope to see you there. If you're thinking, Oh Thank God, that woman has finally shut up, that's fine too.

So while from the beginning it has been the case that, "There Are No Cheerleaders Here". There WERE good times and bad. Triumphs and failures and Some Other Stuff  too; ) But..

This Was THEN.

You can still visit the blog Service Unavailable Error 503 now.

.


And yes, of course, The Only Way To Go

Moon Music

This has been 'Once in a Lifetime'.  [Talking Heads]"Time isn't holding us, time isn't after us
Time isn't holding us, time doesn't hold you back"

THE END

© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

The Groundeds Party All Night In Hard Chairs, Obnoxiously Take Over Maternity Units and Give Thanks!

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© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

It's About Time: Is It Time Already?

And no it's not about Biggests baby. She's taking her Sweet Time and it's Time for this post.


My Littlest was sitting in her 1st grade classroom on 911. Her generation grew up with a boogie man as real as it gets. Her generation has grown up with a war. Commonplace in their lives as eating breakfast.
 Is this when it began?
 I think most young people seldom give it any thought. But my very serious, very thoughtful little girl has always been aware. And always standing up for justice. Always felt the pull to protect. And serve. As she made her way through elementary school she wanted to be things like a firefighter or a soldier. I didn't think too much about it. You see, this generation, as my parents generation, grew up with those games on the playground. Being heroes. Saving the world. They played at being soldiers. I remember her coming home angry. The head of the games, a little boy she went all through school with, told her girls couldn't do the fighting. She had to be the medic. She was furious.
Was this when it began?
Well. They both graduated in June. He has 14 lbs. to lose and a medical waiver to get through, and my baby girl is going before he does : ) But she doesn't gloat. She's pulling for him because she understands. By 5th grade she was more straightforward about law and order than ever. She also carried a sort of sadness that was deep and rooted in the vastness of the world. And she wanted was to make it better.

I sent her to a school for the arts as a creative writer in middle school. She needed the outlet for the heavy feelings she carried. At eleven she was carrying the world.
 Was that when it began?
She never planned to be a writer and as she progressed to the high school for the arts, she thought about becoming a psychologist. Once again, to save, to protect, to serve. In tenth grade she began writing a story for one of her classes. It was about a couple who were both serving in  a war. She was researching her topic carefully for authenticity. I remember her once again coming to me angry.
 "The Army doesn't allow women to serve in the 'Special Forces!' " That's just stupid!
Was this when it began?
 After a time I realized she was still researching long after the story was set aside. And then I received the letter from the Marine Corps. informing me that my 15 year old was inquiring about joining and that they weren't allowed to actively speak with her about being recruited until after she turned 17 or in January of her Junior year. She came to me and said she wanted to leave the school for the arts. It wasn't getting her to the future she wanted. She was heart broken to leave but at the same time her focus had shifted. She had a new plan.
And that is definitely when it began but at the same time it merely came full circle.

The Marine Corps. core values are: Honor, Courage and Commitment.
Their Motto: Semper Fidelis-Always Faithful.

She has had these traits since the day she was born.

In July of 2012 when she was 16 she couldn't take it anymore and begged me to take her to the Recruiting office. Technically they weren't supposed to talk to her but she only had a few weeks till she turned 17 and I was with her, so they did interview her. I wrote about that day HERE.

We told her we wouldn't sign the papers and she would have to wait till she turned 18 but after her 17th birthday in September 2012 she began to plague us. We made her wait six months until January of this year, just to be sure, but her commitment never wavered and we signed. After talking to her recruiter multiple times we decided that the Delayed Entry Program would be a plus, as she would have physical training and other benefits to better prepare her for boot camp. She made it through MEPS the Military Entrance Processing Station and initially swore in on January 31. Her original ship date was August of this year but has been delayed twice while they waited for an opening in her preferred job area. That has been extremely draining and stressful for all of us. Not knowing what was going to happen or when. And now? Now in 9 days the Marine Corps will pick up my baby girl and take her to a hotel. We will lose all contact at that moment. The next morning she will have a second trip to MEPS for a double check and then be put on a bus for Parris Island SC. When she arrives she will be allowed one scripted phone call to let us know she arrived safely. Unlike other military branches, which train for 8 weeks, the MC trains for 13 grueling weeks in which we will have no interaction with her other than hand written letters. I am going to miss her more than I can express and am so proud I can't express it either. As I mom I worry, but not as you might expect. I'm not worried about her career choice. I'm worried about her heart and her hopes and I want her dreams to come true. And...

There is a reason they are called "THE FEW."

I have no doubt she has everything it takes to make it, as do the recruiters and senior officers for her recruiting station. From her test scores and physical abilities she is considered a valuable recruit.
But things happen. Accidents, illness, myriad possibilities. With no glitches she will excel and achieve this goal she has nurtured for so very long. So I'm asking you this. Regardless of how you may feel about the choice she has made, if you pray please send up a prayer. If you cross your fingers cross them all tight, and if you wish, Wish Upon A Star : ) because she is one, and help this amazing young woman achieve her dream: To Earn the title of United States Marine.

 

For My Starlight: Because I do understand and I know, It's Time. Time To Begin.

© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

Clap Harder!

Ok. We're at a stall and need some help. Everyone clap as hard as you can and just keep repeating:

I DO BELIEVE THIS BABY WILL BE BORN! I DO BELIEVE THIS BABY WILL BE BORN!

; )

© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

Very Few Words For So Many Words

Our trip was wonderful and exactly what I needed. It was eight days of excellent, except for the part where the SeaMonkey got a big honking speeding ticket in North Carolina. But as Doris Day sang so wisely, Que Sera Sera...I'll write about it later.

When we came back we had to turn around almost immediately and travel for business. It was 4 days of, seriously, what else can happen?

My Aunt passed away. My mothers sister. I haven't spoken to her in several years. She has been suffering from dementia. It's been even more years since I've seen her. She lived all the way across the country. But I'll miss her presence in the world all the same. She took care of me a lot when I was little. She was like a second mama. Maybe I'll write about it later.

Middlest has a new job and has moved out on her own to start over again. And that's a good thing. And that's all I have to write about it.

Littlest got her call for her job opening and will be shipping out to Marine Corps. Recruit Training on December 2cd. I certainly will write about it later....

and on Thursday Biggest saw her doctor, who told her to get ready because she didn't see her lasting more than a few days. She has some early signs right now and we are on baby watch this weekend. Cross your fingers because she's (in Her words) "over it" and ready to get this done: ) So hopefully, I will be writing about that very soon!

UPDATE: 11/18 No baby yet but I did get this text from Biggest last night:

OPERATION D-----C-----AKA No More Negotiations.
Mission: Extract the highly elusive D---C--- from hiding. She has been spotted in caves as far as Pakistan but is currently believed to be living as an intruder inside a civilian. Take warning, she is considered to be highly erratic and bullheaded and is a master of martial arts, torture and mind manipulation. Take any means necessary to bring her down, but we want her alive. Best of luck.
(And That's why I love my kids)

Why so much at once, I wonder? Why? 

Just look at the sky : )


Moon Music of the: Just Because I like It Variety

 

© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

It's All About The Biggest

and The Tiniest : )



Biggest called: She said, You don't love me!

What?

You write whole posts about Mid and Littlest all the time but you never say anything about me.

What? Yes I do, BUT just for Princess PITA...

Biggest is 37 weeks pregnant. She's ALL baby. We suggested she paint her stomach orange and draw a face on it for Halloween... she didn't like that idea. She looks beautiful. She isn't due till November 22cd but the doctor told her the baby was big and really could come at any time so she's convinced she's in labor about twice a week. Though I point out to her on a regular basis that she will KNOW a real contraction when she feels one, she still calls me every few days to ask about things she's feeling. She hasn't read many books to prepare her for having a baby because she says she has ME for that, and a lot of stuff in the books about things that go wrong scare her and make her worry. Despite the fact that I haven't been pregnant in 18 years, I try to remember as well as I can. She calls at least once a week to worry that there will be something wrong with the baby. I tell her, if there is, you will deal with it. But I'm sure everything is fine. Even though her parents torture her, because Biggest was standing by the sink and DecentGuy threw a chunk of ice in it and the loud noise seemed to startle the baby and make her jump around. So they did it again.....

 She has picked out a most adorable and lovely name and I'm relieved it isn't 'Tree' or 'Axe' or 'Bobette Marley.' In keeping with her lifestyle she has decorated the nursery with a 'Forest Friends' theme from Target.

 This is the Target ad, not the real room.



The real room is small and cozy and yellow and it's the sweetest. DecentGuy worked hard painting and putting in new flooring and bought wooden letters to spell her name and painted them to put  up over her crib. He's an excited future Daddy and we have (another) spoiled little girl in our future. They are as ready as they can possibly be.

Biggest is already thinking about good schools and what toys and tv shows are appropriate and savings accounts. She originally thought about starting an account for college but then decided to start one for the Great-She's Finally Big Enough to Enjoy It- trip to Disney World when the baby's old enough-after all she was conceived there- Then they will start a college savings.
She is busily going through her nesting stage, which is really something because she's already OCD about everything being in it's place. She's re-folded baby clothes a thousand times and everything looks perfect. She is going to be a terrific Mom because she already has an active Worry Button that came pre-installed and if the child so much as bats an eye she'll be standing over her watching like a hawk to figure out why and what she should do about it. She's going to be Fine. She's going to be a Fine Mama. And she's Finally going to drive me completely crazy ; )

So My Sunshine, I am very proud of you and excited too! And there will be plenty more posts in the future about you as a Mama. You are going to be Amazing : ) You know the music we played for you when you were little to help you sleep. You have your own copy now. Just Remember...

Except For The Part About Me
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As for me, I'm going in for some restoration. I'll be heading to the highlands to sit on my rock and listen to the creek and see some colors besides green. Even though it's my favorite color, the eye and the soul need a change from time to time and it's been several years since I've been able to go in the fall. Plus I'll get to wear my sweaters and boots! I need it desperately right now. Even more so because I have a series of work projects as soon as I get back.
I told Biggest to quit trying to have that baby early and cross her legs, because if she goes into labor while I'm gone I'll never speak to her again.  The new definition of Never being, as soon as I can rush back and get ahold of my granddaughter. But hopefully the little Bug will keep cooking a little longer and come when she's supposed to, just in time for Thanksgiving. And I will be thankful indeed!



© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

And Then One Morning I Woke Up And The Nightmare Was Over

When our children are small and through their teens we are always available to help. To Protect. To Save. But what happens when an adult child makes mistakes? How far should we go to save them? What if they keep making the same mistakes over and over? Does it depend on the age? Do we stop helping at 18, 20, 25, 30?

 I know what to do when someone has a drug or alcohol problem that they refuse to give up. As hard as it is you have to cut them off. You have to be wary. And you have to know that as an adult they can't really be helped until they want to be saved. For real. But what if the issue is just bad judgment in general? How long do you help someone who sabotages their life every time they get it together?

A week ago last Saturday Middlest called me in the middle of the night sobbing her eyes out. Her words were, "Why are you always right?" She wanted to come home. And what did we do? We got in the car and drove 12 hours in one day to bring her back. We knew she was in a bad situation but she made her choice and there wasn't much we could do. During the time she was gone she glossed over what was going on and continued to sound positive. This guy was straightening up. He had a job. They were getting married. She was having a baby. Everything was going to be fine. She was sure of it.

When we got her home the truth came out. He never quit drinking at all. Her bank account was cleaned out. During a short time they had stayed in a hotel and he was stealing her cash and going out to drink.  His behavior was becoming scary. He lost two jobs in two weeks and had found a pretty decent one so she was giving him another chance. And. He chose to drink again. This was another chance after he already had become physical with her and shoved her against a wall. They were living in a dilapidated trailer with holes in the walls and no heat or air and no stove. They had no money.  They had no transportation. They didn't have enough food. Luckily his family helped out a little with that so she didn't starve. She has been having spotting and cramping all along. But you see, she wanted this so bad. She thought she could save him. She thought she could save the situation. She thought she could fix the first mistake she made by compounding the mistakes and that she could make it work. Because she was living in a dream world of hope. And it wasn't real. And when the world came crashing down all she wanted was the life she had carelessly discarded and lost to come back. It doesn't happen quite that way. But we can't leave our child in danger and so we saved her. Again. She is home, and not out of state which is a relief. There will be no wedding to this creep and for that we are thankful. We will be looking over our shoulders for awhile and that is frightening. we don't know what he will do next. We all just hope he chooses to move on. And there will be no child. Middlest has cystic ovaries. She has had problems since she was about 16. She was drinking and smoking during the first few weeks before she found out. She was malnourished and she was under an incredible amount of stress dealing with this guys very serious problems and trying to make this work and keep an upbeat front for us. She has had a miscarriage. My heart breaks for her because she had allowed herself that little light of hope for the sake of this. It chokes me to say the words 'for the best', but it truly is.  I tell her it will be ok. She worries because this problem in our family leads to early hysterectomies. I had mine when I was 31. My sister was in her early twenties and as a result is childless. She's afraid she won't be able to have children. But I tell her someday it will happen. One way or another the little boy she wishes for will be hers when the time is right and she is truly ready and able. For now she needs to do some healing and start over-again.

Middlest has a 'guy problem'. As many years as I've told her to respect and depend on herself first and be the center of her own life first she has continued to fall in this trap. She has walked flat away from some terrific young men and been drawn instead to the damaged and damaging. Middlest is a young woman of faith. She's my only daughter that goes to church of her own free will. And she wants to love and take care of these broken people. It is a disastrous tendency. I've told her, "make it your career, don't make it your personal life." So far she hasn't learned. I'm hoping now that she finally has.

Which leaves us in this position. A 20 year old penniless unemployed daughter becoming dependent on us again. We don't mind if she lives with us forever if she's making the most of her life. We've told her that many times. She's an incredibly bright, talented, and lovely girl. She's sabotaged her schooling, her jobs and her personal life over and over again. For the time being we have told her that she's basically 13 around here for now. Her lack of judgment and discernment shows a person whose maturity is far from her age. We can't trust her. We can't believe anything she says. Just like an addict she has to surrender control to us for the time being. We have made it clear that we will always be there for her. But we can't save her from herself anymore. We can't clean up her messes any longer. We are helping her start over and when she is on her feet and her decisions are hers she is on her own.

For 26 years 'All I Ever Wanted' was for my daughters to have 'All They Ever Wanted.'
What I've learned as a parent is that 'All They Ever Wanted' is not always what is best for them. The choices they make have a hand in it. So I revise that. All I want for my daughters is 'what is best for them'. At least I learned something along the way.

I didn't know I could ever grieve again the way I have over the past month. The worst moment of all was this. It had been ten years since I felt that hopeless. God came real close to going over that line of what I can handle, but I'm sure he's a little distracted these days with the big picture, and in the end he gave me 'All I Wanted'. Which was for all this to just disappear and things be the way they were before. And weirdly, that is close to where they are today. Our anxiety is still a little high because we can't be sure it's entirely over but basically my house has returned to functioning as it did exactly one month ago. Two of my adult daughters are on the balcony belting the song:
 I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today."

Like waking up from a nightmare.

I don't want to be sad and angry here ever again.

I've been staying away from blogging while I gather the pieces of myself back together. I'm back.

And to begin I have listed what I am thinking about today on my other blog if you care to peek:

Good Things

Little things that get me through and that I am thankful for.

Thank you for being there for me dear cyber friends. There are some things you can't share in the real world when you are the kind of person that doesn't want to sob in front of people and doesn't want them to try to touch and console you because it just makes it worse. Just letting me know you're out there somewhere helped me through : )





© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

It's Wednesday But I Refuse To Be Silent

HOLY FOUR WHEELS and A STEERING WHEEL! For the First Time Ever-

ONE OF MY DAUGHTERS HAS A FOR REAL DRIVERS LICENSE!

That's right. Yesterday Littlest took the test and received a regular drivers license despite the fact that she's only had a learners permit for 4 weeks. Apparently if you're over 18 you can do that. Her dad and my mother in law both threw her to the highway wolves and gave her a crash course-pardon the reference- in driving. And she passed. I am very proud of her. However, regardless of what the state says there is still no way in hell she's getting any where near My Car!...so I will still be chauffeuring..oh well...

Biggest called: She said, Do you know what DecentGuy said? I was complaining about my back hurting and he said his back hurt too, he'd been working all day. I said, you don't understand, this is bad. It really hurts. And He said, "I could wear a pillow under my shirt and it would be the same."

Oh yes he did. As far as I know he's still with us.

And Middlest called: She said: I had a doctor visit and they heard the heartbeat. They told her that was the earliest she'd ever picked up a heartbeat on the Doppler! She's somewhere around 7 weeks.
I guess she thought about it a lot because this morning she sent me a text.

Middlest Message:

Nothing like the horrifying thought of Oh God, what if they heard the heartbeat so early because there's actually two thus making it louder and I'm either having twins or a Timelord.

Let's hope for a Timelord shall we? Maybe he can chauffeur Biggest in his police box.

; )

© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

She Mows In Beauty...?

I've been watching a lot. Secretly staring from across rooms. Taking in small details from the corners of my eyes. Memorizing bits and pieces to hold on to later. I stare out windows, unseen from the second floor. The scarlet mower bright as a cardinal against the summer green grass. She pushes. Petite but, sturdy is the word that comes to mind. Muscled legs in short denim shorts propel her onward. Black tank top. Black high top Converse. She has wires pouring from her ears. Her fine boned jaw is set, determined. Sharp cheekbones breaking the softness of rounded nose and high arched brow. Regal is the word that comes to mind. Her shorn hair, tree bark brown and damp with sweat. Gone the stark white of childhood, the later deep burnished gold, thick and wavy. It now matches exactly the deep mahogany of her eyes. Exposes the surprising grace of the rising slope curving from neck to shoulder. The unexpected charm of sinew and rounded bicep. Grasping the handle with deeply calloused palms.  The same grip with which she grabs an opponents GI, and holds them to the floor. The same grip with which she grabs a bar to pull herself up ten times, in preparation as a warrior. Powerful is the word that comes to mind. "Where has my little girl gone?", is the thought I search. The mower stops and starts stops and starts. I wondered if something was wrong with it, so I went out to see and end up seeing only her. She lets go and the engine dies. Creeping to the front of the mower she bends her knees and slowly reaches out, then suddenly scoops. Her hands cupped closed she travels to the wooded area at the end of the yard and stoops again, opening her hands and watching, then returns to mowing only to stop again moments later and repeat again. I can't resist. I blow my cover on the upstairs balcony to ask, "What are you doing?" "They're baby lizards, she says. They aren't moving out of the way. The brown ones. They just sit there so I'm moving them. '' The engine revs up again and I watch. She is almost directly beneath me. She grabs a large brown leaf and begins coaxing something into it. Her solid legs flexed, her rounded shoulders hunched. She stands. Her face tilted upward to look at me, her dark eyes innocent and sweet. And for a flash she is five again as she holds the leaf up to show me. "It's a slug, she says. Where should I put it?"



The Littlest Mower

She mows in beauty like a knight
A determined force they cannot fight
All fall before her blades when she pass
Cutting a swath through the grass
At the same time not depraved
Knowing some souls can be saved
Powerful leader, and never pawn
Joan d' Arc of the lawn


This has been a shameless and sacrilegious parody of Byron's stunning She Walks in Beauty
Brought to you by:
 The Center for Compulsive Bad Poetry Research- also known as my brain.





© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

Moving On....

Ok. So we just had the Most Epic full moon in history, What can ya do? Keep living of course.

In the course of one week my life changed considerably.

Last time around Biggest was worried about not feeling the baby move enough.

Yesterday I got a text:
Biggest: Oh, I had a kickboxing tournament from 6PM to 3AM that could've earned a domestic abuse charge, so we feel better. My arm was resting on my stomach texting and the first time she hit it jarred my arm so hard I almost lost my phone..

She and DecentGuy are getting excited. Only two months to go till November!

Middlest and my future son in law-Murphy'sLaw- are having a shot gun wedding in Georgia this November and I will be getting a Second Grandchild in May. He has a whole lot of proving to do before I change his name. I'm not worried about my future Grandchild reading this and wondering about the name because all it takes is an internet search to find the 6 mug shots.
But I offer hope. When Biggest met DecentGuy in High School his name was Shithead so we will just keep praying. Trying not to cry anymore with marginal success.

Littlest is still here. Government fiscal year-- is October 1st-if we still have a government- and the Marine Corps job openings will be posted and she will likely know her ship date for sure.
I'm betting on November though it could be sooner. She's in the process of packing up everything in her room and I can't bear to look.

In other news, The SeaMonkey turned 50! He obviously got more than he expected for his birthday this year and he's already suffering from a bad case of Empty Nest Syndrome but luckily there have been some waves.

I have been reading a long list of horror stories and it occurred to me that I'm trying to find something that scares me more than my real life.....Still reading...

anyway....
This insanity is obviously going to last awhile so..
Belated Moon Music.

Forgive if I haven't caught up on your blogs yet. I appreciate the support more than I can say but I'm just a little burnt out right now....


© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

Bereft

My Heart is broken

Seeming so perfect when it was born

But the beauty hid the truth

The brightness camouflaged the defect

For twenty years my heart lived wrapped

Deep within the safety of my love

And time told the story

My Heart beats to a drummer with no rhythm

No Reason

No reality

I held my heart close to keep it safe

But the ragged edges cut through my flesh

like shattered glass

A reflection in pieces so fragmented

they can never be repaired

The truth

My Heart is broken

And broken is my heart

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Definition of bereft (adj)

 

be·reft

 [ bi réft ]   

1. deprived: deprived of somebody or something loved or valued
2. lacking: lacking in something desirable or necessary
3. feeling sense of loss: filled with a sense of loss

Synonyms: deprived, bereaved, mourning, in mourning, grieving, orphaned, widowed

© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

I'm Done Now...Right?

Yeah. Right.

I have imagined this time for years. I can't believe that last week the day finally arrived when my youngest daughter turned 18 and became a legal adult. It's been a long road. I have devoted my life to getting them safely to adulthood and now...

Now I'm Free!!!!!!!!!!!!  ...Right?

Mmmhmmm.....free as a branch pinned under a rock below the surface of a river. Free as a bird tethered to a cage under a blanket in the corner of a basement. Free as....well anyway....

We were traveling for work the other day when Biggest called.
She said:

"I haven't felt the baby move since yesterday morning." It was over 24 hours. I told her to call the doctor and they told her to go to the emergency room. She was at work and STILL Doesn't Drive so she was calling Decent Guy to come get her but his phone was dead and eventually she had to call his workplace but he was out in the field, and so on, until this eventually lasted over 2 hours in which The SeaMonkey and I were telling her to be calm, it was probably nothing and not to panic, and then getting off the phone and going into a terrified panic...and crying. Both Of Us. Then DecentGuy showed up and they went to their house where she took a shower and laid down for a minute and then the baby started kicking. I told her to call the doctor back and get their opinion since it had been such a long period of time. They told her to do a kick count laying still on her side for 2 hours-looking for at least ten kicks and the little booger did and Everything Was Fine. Except my blood pressure.

***I also somehow seem to have become involved in a  Best Grandma Bidding War on the Target Baby Registry. But that's ok, cause KaBoom! I bought the crib and bedding + room decorating kit set+.... But in all honesty,  the other Grandma cleaned everything else out and she is a Most Awesome Fairy Grandmother for helping to make ALL of My baby girls' wishes come true : )

Miss Middlest has been doing great at her job and is progressing to the next level there on her way to a promotion. Our ultimate goal has always been to get her out on her own eventually but we have told her she's welcome to live with us forever if she wants to, as long as she's doing her part around here, making wise decisions and moving forward. She was not making wise decisions and doing her part. So we had a little chat. And then-for the 3rd time since she turned 18- she announced she was leaving and getting an apartment with a friend ( An ex soldier with PTSD she met sleeping on the beach because his girlfriend kicked him out, that she had known one week) She's did this without any plan in place, hardly any savings and no credit history and a part time low paying job, and she just up and left. She ended up at her pastors house-with the homeless dude-and they took them in. I don't know what the hell they're thinking but not my problem, though they appear to be using them as slave labor...anyway...it's been two weeks and they still don't have an apartment but she is willingly and enthusiastically doing everything at the pastors house that we asked her to do here. I do hope for the best for this guy and that he gets help and I'm thankful for his service but she let him use her bike and he apparently got hit by a car. He's ok but her bikes screwed up but I guess that's alright because he's alive even though it's her Only Transportation  to work because she Still Can't Drive.
I kind of want to, as my 5th grade teacher used to say, knock her in the head with a wet noodle but somehow I don't think it will knock whatever's loose in there back into place. And she's an adult. She says she needs to do it this way because it's too easy to slack at home.
I'm sure it will work out fine. Except for that pulsing noise I keep hearing in my ears.

And Littlest? Littlest is still here waiting for her boot camp ship date, though her friends have all started college. She's chomping at the bit to get out of here because she's ready to be free too,  but in the meantime she amuses herself by coming to the store with me every week in order to double my grocery bill with her extremely expensive super healthy eating habits. She won't be here long enough to get a job but she does Physical Training with the other Poolees from the recruiting office and goes to her Jiu Jitsu classes. She has to pass a bad area to get there and she's pleased that now that's she's an adult she can ride her bike wherever and whenever she wants and can be there after dark, without us telling her get home...Because She Still Can't Drive.
But I know she can take care of herself. She's joining the marines for Petes sake. I'm sure she'll be safe and everything will be fine. Except for my migraine.


But That's OK. BECAUSE I LOVE THEM. More Than Anything.
And I know I won't ever really be "Done." I am a mother first and foremost in my life.
And I don't ever want to be free of them-completely.
And I think I did I fairly decent job of getting them raised.
Except for the driving.....

and my possible aneurism.
; )


I had originally planned to be "Done" with this blog at this point.
Part of my tagline in the beginning was:
Raising teen girls in todays society...haven't figured it out yet.
Later it was: Raising Teen Girls...halfway through...still haven't figured it out.
Well, I'm done raising teenage girls...and I never did figure it out ; )

But since we have a baby and boot camp to look forward to I will continue on for a bit. After that I will switch to my other blog, Service Unavailable Error 503.  A few of you are already there and Ms. A visits regular : ) I would dearly love it if my little group of real followers followed me there. It's been a hodgepodge of extras so far but there will be much more in the future. Right now there's -what else-a music video on it. Nothing special. But I promise that's not all that's on there or will on there.

Thank you to everyone who has stuck around so far..we still have a little ways to go : )

P.S. I Know my Header is screwed up. Tried to make a minor change. It's gone. too tired to try to figure it out anymore!


© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

Shooting Star Lands On Feet

Nearly four years ago I began this blog with a newly turned fourteen year old with a sarcastic sense of humor, a droll outlook on life and a solid ethic of determination and purpose.

My Starlight: Glittering sparks of light shooting from her mind

Now, here I am with a newly turned 18 year old with  a sarcastic sense of humor, a droll outlook on life and a solid ethic of determination and purpose.

My Starlight: Multifaceted beams refracting from her heart.

My Littlest has officially become an adult.  She hasn't been Grounded since I don't know when.

But that may be because, while her ideals have always been shining from the heights,
her feet have always been planted firmly on the ground.

My Starlight: Glowing rays pouring warmly from her soul.

I am So Proud of the young woman you have become my Sweet Littlest. You are Amazing.


Happy Birthday To My Starlight!

Infinite points of possibility reflected in your eyes.

You've been waiting to get here for so long and I know it was a hard wait for you. And I know how ready you are to shoot forward. Just remember, it can take tens of millions of years for the light from the nearest stars to reach us. You have plenty of time to shine. But it's official.
The world is laid out before you now Littlest and you're already starting from the top. There is no limit to how far you can shoot for yourself.
Almost time for the next step. Never break that stride : )

I Love You!

And I know you can Imagine Dragons ; )

Readers: if you like, please enjoy some of The Best of Littlest:

Guest Post By Littlest

An a in Math and an F in Language

Shop Till You Drop Dead From Humiliation

Problem Solved

We Got The Blues

She Said, Let's do It Today


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quick Note: Traveling this week.
May be delayed in responding to comments but will catch you later!


© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

Oh Yeah! That Post....

let's get back to the very riveting content I promised before My Troll interrupted.



While I was gone on my blog break, I decided to clean out my bedside table. Now first of all...there is nothing more embarrassing in my bedside table than dust bunnies. The dust in my house is diabolical and perpetuates itself and though I battle it weekly, out of tradition, it long ago won the war. It's kind of like a Civil War reenactment, but I do feel it has contributed to the fact that my kids have No respiratory or pet allergies, at all, whatsoever. Exposure you see-like inoculation...totally off topic now, so anyway..

I discovered much of my life story is contained within, where I put things in, but never take them out.

Now bear with me. Some of these photos are kinda blurry but I don't actually care that much, so...

In this drawer you find maps and travel brochures from places that we have traveled from The Florida Keys all the way to Niagara Canada. Even if I haven't been to some of them in 20 years.
Along with some things the children made me...when they were children.

And of course-a COW.

Thanks to my sister-The Mighty Ms. K




This is a book my Mother in Law gave us. We have never read it.

I feel I already know Jesus pretty well. As you can see he's living in the same drawer.

We have some books about aging parents and Alzheimer's- even though my mother died 6 years ago.
I guess we'll just keep them a few more years to use on ourselves.

 

 

As well as a copy of The Witching Hour by Anne Rice-which is pretty decent, and probably in here because I was hiding it from the kids because of inappropriate content. Usually I'm very anal about books missing from my shelves. It drives me crazy.  But that one isn't very important in my OCD literary...um..annals- did you notice how I did that-anal:annals...anyway...Also, a tattered copy of The Good Earth- which is pretty awesome. I'm not missing it because there is a new copy on the shelf, but this is the one my mother gave me for Christmas when I was 16. Also some dog training and a National Geographic from 1999....I don't know...

We have lots of foot lotion because I have crappy feet.

P.S, The allergy tablets are For The Dog : )

Then there are some more sweet things the kids made me...when they were kids.

 

 

 And of course, my 4th grade school picture. I have no idea how or why it's in here but it may be tradition, because I'm pretty sure it sat in my dads desk drawer for about 20 years before I inherited it. I hated that dress. My mom loved it. She wasn't happy about the hair but I was showing off my newly pierced ears. Two weeks later they became horribly infected and I had to let them close up after I spent the night with some girlfriends and they allowed me to borrow some lovely pink jeweled posts from the dime store, with only 'a little' rust on them. Because even though the lady told me never to take them out, my friends, pierced since they were babies by their Chilean mother, assured me they never had a problem with them. Footnote: I obviously was as happy about 4th grade as I was about that dress.

 

 

 

 



I have a button with Middlest being very happy to play softball, even though we didn't yet know she was mostly blind and couldn't see a damn thing.

Then there is this flyer from a house that was for sale in Tennessee, that we actually drove to look at. We had just sprung Biggest from the mental health hospital where they diagnosed her with Pain In The Ass and suggested re-hab. Her reaction to that was something very like the Amy Winehouse song.
 We were thinking maybe moving to the middle of nowhere might be a solution to her problems. But in the end we stayed put. And everything came out alright.

 

Let me take a moment here to notice that there aren't any parenting books in this table. They do exist. I had them well hidden so they were never in here. BUT I have to say that this book: Parenting Your Out of Control Teenager, by Scott P. Sells, is the best parenting book I ever read. I found it late in the game but it saved my life. I highly recommend it, even if you aren't having big problems. It could prevent big problems from growing.

 

But on a happier note!!

I also have proof that I am already ready to be a Grandma!

Because I still haven't cleared out from having little children around the first time.

Then, in the top corner, closest to me, are very important things you don't want to get caught without.  An empty glasses case-and an eyeglass wipe packet-thank you. A nickel. A clothes pin. A bobby pin. A dog chewed nail file, a hot pink highlighter... and a rock.

Necessities....you know?

When The SeaMonkey saw the children's books he said, "Leave them in there." And I did. Along with everything else. Including the dust bunnies...because...that's the story of my life : )
I promise I don't have newspapers stacked along the walls of my house and you can actually walk across the floors and see the furniture. The drawers? Well. That's obviously another story ; )





© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

HI SAWYER!

How are you dear?

Not like you don't know all this stuff too.

Seriously Emily, I said Tell No One! Blabber Text ; )

DO NOT TELL YOUR MOTHERS. Very Serious. Ok?



Be good guys.

Regular Readers: I'm on a work project. Will try to get a real post out and visit tomorrow : )

Hi Emily!

How's college?

Lit is gonna miss you : )

The Big Ugly

Well. Just Look at the sky!

The Big Ugly was blocking it for a bit but there she is!

 It was nice chatting with My Troll but she/he must have tripped over their tongue and broke some fingers because she/he hasn't come back to finish the conversation. Quite honestly I'm still a little confused whether she was angry at me, the squirrels mother or the rats mother....Oh Well. I don't want to be a part of The Big Ugly.

My last reply to My Troll is on my last two posts, but I'm adding it here too:

DEAR TROLL. Though you have not deigned to return yet and enjoy the wreckage you left in your wake, just in case you do...
You desecrated my daughters Birthday Message. That would be the daughter in the photo, painting the YOUTH HALL Sign for HER CHURCH.
Whooo's the one who will burn hell? Hhmmm?

In all seriousness that got me thinking. I try to behave as a Christian and I know better. I'm not being a good steward. You obviously had some rage in you that you decided to unload on me. That's ok. I just finished raising 3 teenagers. I'm used to it. I have a little stress on me right now too. You gave me a chance to vent a little of it. I guess we can call it even. But even more importantly:
I FORGIVE YOU. And if you feel I have transgressed in some way, I hope you can forgive me too. It's a win-win and maybe neither of us will burn in Hell ; )

In other news;

 Littlest has been systematically cutting her hair shorter and shorter. It is now shaved to  about a 1/4 inch around the back of her head and cut to maybe 1 inch on top. She can totally pull it off. Her ship date to boot camp has just been set to December (this time) and since it will be awhile she was thinking of getting a temporary job. So...overheard in the kitchen..

Biggest: Why is your hair so short? Do you remember that Peter Pan video we had when we were little with the real people and that creepy woman (Mary Martin) was Peter Pan? That's what you remind me of.

Littlest: Yeah, I remember that. Do you have any openings at work?

Biggest: You could go to Disney and get a job as Peter Pan. You should just get a little outfit and go around being Peter Pan. Just walk up and down the street like that and maybe someone will pick you up and give you a job.

Littlest: I'm pretty sure that's called prostitution....

Yeah...that's my girl : )

Anyway...other than that it's been pretty calm at home. All the crazy has been happening on my blog.
Let's just leave behind THE BIG UGLY and enjoy.

In Honor Of The Past Week:

Moon Music ; )

cause sometimes I just can't help myself...God forgive me...

© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

I GOTTA TROLL!!!!!!!

And not a Spammy, try to trick you troll. I think it's a Real One! The Trolls name is Anonymous, as most of them are because they're all related. Not by blood necessarily but by kinship.

HI TROLL!

For nearly four years I've been waiting. Waiting for someone to criticize my parenting. Waiting for someone to remark on my girls less than stellar moments. It never happened. Because people are mostly awesome like that. I have found so many lovely and supportive women through blogging. Some I feel I've gotten to know quite well and I consider them true friends who really know me, even if I never meet them in person. I'm amazed at how well this person knows me since they read a total of (1) ONE  Post,  I know because I spy on you like that. SURPRISE! Anyway. One post out of all this nonsense, not to mention, heartbreak and, oh yeah, LOVE, I have on here.

But this morning, on my post just previous to this one, which involves a Happy Birthday to my beautiful Middlest and some baby woodland creatures that my darling soft hearted Biggest and Littlest were helping, imagine my surprise when I found this:

** Potty Mouth Warning!

THAT BABY! CREATURE HAS BEEN SPUN OUT TO DRY! THANKS TO BLOODY YOU! YOU EVIL ABANDONING MOTHER! WHO HAS NOTHING GOOD TO SAY. ALWAYS BUTS HER YOUNG DOWN. DOESN'T EVEN GIVE THEM THE TIME OF DAY! YOU FLEA BRAIN INFESTED BITCH! ROT IN BLOODY HELL WITH ALL OF YOUR MANGLED FUCKED UP LITTLE BABIES.

YOU HEAR ME BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I only rarely use uncouth language on my blog because I think it's an ignorant way of expressing yourself, except in special circumstance. I'm assuming that, like myself, she/he feels that curse words are very effective when used sparingly and about something you are passionate about. So please excuse the profanity of My Troll.

But...I'm not really sure what this person is BABBLING about. They seem to have something against sweet little furry baby woodland animals that have been injured and abandoned and need help until they can survive on their own. I can't imagine why anyone would be so mean and call such sweet tiny creatures 'mangled F'd up little babies.' I don't recall any of them in a dryer... the squirrels are safely tucked in Biggest's boobs and the wood rat is still on my back porch and probably will be till the end of time....because My Young completely rule my heart and trod all over me as they got their big soft mushy hearts FROM ME. Dumbass...oops...just a little slip there....and if My Troll had read more than one post she might understand that my Biggest regularly saves animals of all kinds and perhaps might surmise that she learned that trait from HER PARENTS. Though I will say I am a big proponent of wild creatures being in the wild and not captivity once they are able to survive on their own.

anyway.....I don't normally 'BUT' my young down either but sometimes I tell them it's time to sit for dinner....let's see...they all own cell phones with time on them...that I pay for...except Biggest and I paid for hers till she was like 22....and if they don't have them on them and I do I will certainly look and tell them what time is..as long as I'm not driving or something....
and I never abandon anything. Including my 5 cats + a feral, 2 dogs, over the years countless, hamsters, birds and a guinea pig and the mouse I found hidden in a closet,  as well as the occasional injured wild creature. Not to mention my three daughters who, quite the opposite of being abandoned or ignored, would likely say, OK, have said, "I'm an adult. Quit hovering over me worrying and telling me what to do."

So anyway TROLL. If you haven't already, check out my reply to your original comment, it has some information that may interest you. Also, Please do return and clarify your babble. Or perhaps read more than one post so you actually know the person you're judging. Please.
You see, it's been nearly 4 years and you have finally given me what I was waiting for. Someone to ..um.. FUCK WITH ME : )

Kisses,
Ms. G

P.S. I did say in that post that I had hurt my back rather badly and was taking some medication and jokingly mentioned I might leave weird comments. Maybe I'm not the only one on drugs....




© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

We Interrupt Our Previously Scheduled Post

Because I completely screwed up my back a week ago yesterday and have been laying around on heat/ice packs and getting adjusted and getting deep tissue massages and electrical stimulation and traction and I'm still screwed up but some stuff's been happening and I wanted to share. If you have little ones they might enjoy this.

First of all. Biggest has been changing shape all over the place and she walked in last week looking a little deformed. I felt a little freaked out and wasn't sure what to say but then she pulled these out of her bra.

Baby Squirrels. A lady brought them to her because their nest fell out of the tree. She tried to put it back up but after 24 hours their Mama was a no show so now Biggest is their Mama. She carries them around in her bra to keep them warm.
At least she's getting some extra practice on feeding something every two hours : )

 

 

 

 

Usually Littlest is not the one I have this problem with BUT, even though I distinctly remember uttering the words, "NO-put it out deep in the woods and it will be fine", I walked out on the porch and found an old Hamster cage with this on top.



 

Hi My name is Herbert. My front legs aren't working too well right now. But I'm just a baby.

 I am not vermin. Please don't hurt me. If I'm feeling better tomorrow I'll leave.

 

This Is NOT a baby Squirrel

 

It IS a Baby Wood RAT!

 

It had a sprained ankle apparently.

 It is Not Staying

anymore after today. Four days is plenty of time and he's getting around just fine.

 

 

 

Last of all, this is the great Birthday week marathon and I wish a Happy Birthday to Decent Guy, my brother; Anonymous Brother N, My sister; The Mighty Ms. K, my Dad in Heaven and most of all,

 

My Middlest is turning 20.

 

 

 

 

 

 My Dreamer.

My Child of Faith and Creativity

My Free Spirit

 

My Moonlight.

 

You don't need a Full Moon to Glow.

The Light Is Always Around You.

 

I am very proud of you sweetheart.

No matter how winding your journey and wherever it finally ends, I'm with you all the way.

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

 

Love You : )

 

 

 

As for the meaningful posts I originally took time off over a month ago to dream up? Yeah. Still not happening, so anyway....

Now, I have to rest because I'm supposed to work next week but before I head back to my heating pad I'm going to attempt to sit here a little longer and visit a few blogs. But I admit I've finally given in and taken some drugs so if I visit you God knows what I will say to you ; )



© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

When Does Nothing Happen Around Here, Seriously?

I said I'd be back if anything happened, but July just sorta slipped away from me too. Not like  'a suntan oiled palm', as in my June post, exactly. More like a bottle rocket. But as July's go for me, it hasn't been all that bad.

I totally lost track of time but in the interim;

Littlest's was supposed to ship out August 19th, but none of her MOS's- (job choices)-had come up with an opening. So her ship date was moved back to-'we have no idea when'-but then...an opening just came up in Asian Pacific Linguistics (that's all I'm allowed to tell you) and if she gets chosen for it she will be leaving for boot camp...we have no idea when.  It's going to be a surprise.
Possibly with up to a few days notice-YAY...
But that's ok because she bought these boots.

Middlest decided not to join the Navy but fell in love with an Army Man instead and had a very romantic whirlwind two weeks with him before he was sent to Germany for a year. YAY...sorta..

I don't have a picture of that but it involves looking Mooney eyed,  and because of time zones, staying up till all hours, just to say 'have a nice day',  and life or death timing accuracy for her work breaks to say,  'goodnight.'


Biggest called this morning. She said: Tell me if I'm crazy. It feels like my stomach is thumping.

Hee Hee : ) Because....


She recently had an ultrasound and ..and..we're getting a GRANDGIRL! YAY!!

 

And that's her foot. BABY TOES! :-D

 

 

On another note. During a dinner conversation the other day the girls complained that though I had posts that mentioned everyone, they hardly ever had a post of their own. Down at the bottom of the page, Dears, my labels will tell you that Littlest (accused of getting the most) has 25 Posts. Middlest has 28. Biggest has 15. But when I began this blog you were already a grown up and you actually have 16. The hardest post I ever wrote was about you and it was so hard I couldn't leave it on this blog. I put it on the other one. And I don't want you to read it. However, Mid is grown up now and Lit is leaving, and you are pregnant. I'm sure you'll be catching right up.
OK?

Stay tuned. Coming up next,  I will have another fascinating pictorial concerning what I was doing when I 'wasn't doing this.' We'll take a peek in my bedside table. Riveting stuff I tell you-Riveting.

: )





© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

In The Moment

I feel like I haven't written anything of substance in a long time. And I have no idea where my sense of humor went. I'm working on projects at work and traveling a lot and there's so much at home. I think it's because there is so much going on that I'm living very much, "in the moment", without time to think through a thought, much less flesh it out into a post. When I do have a spare moment, I very much need for my mind to be quiet right now, not trying to produce. There will always be tidbits and nonsense on my blog but I don't want that to be all there is. So I'm taking a couple weeks off. I doubt I'll be gone long. I'll be back as soon as I think of something...or something important happens...or I get bored...you know how I am.

For the moment, I wrote this a very long time ago. I posted it here a few years back, too.
I thought it would be appropriate because... well...it's happened again.

See You Soon : )

In To July

June has slipped
 through my fingers

A suntan oiled palm

Slipping out of my grasp

 to bask in sweat soaked July.

In haste to higher altitude

 this past, a time to remember

Held vaulted in film canisters

Waiting on my kitchen counter

 for lackluster rebirth

The summer child

notched in a doorframe

Two more to be etched

as milestones passed

After the Star Spangled evening.

I have yet to taste the salt

To gather the sun glittered

abandoned homes of sea life

To slowly drip a medieval castle

But I will do these things

Finish this heat induced scavenger hunt

The summer a shimmering runway I traverse

I fly at the end to Fall

Merely a mirage

As I crash land in the heat

Of my home town.
 

© 1998-2013 All Rights Reserved
This work had been edited and changed from it's original version



© 2012 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG