Our trip was wonderful and exactly what I needed. It was eight days of excellent, except for the part where the SeaMonkey got a big honking speeding ticket in North Carolina. But as Doris Day sang so wisely, Que Sera Sera...I'll write about it later.
When we came back we had to turn around almost immediately and travel for business. It was 4 days of, seriously, what else can happen?
My Aunt passed away. My mothers sister. I haven't spoken to her in several years. She has been suffering from dementia. It's been even more years since I've seen her. She lived all the way across the country. But I'll miss her presence in the world all the same. She took care of me a lot when I was little. She was like a second mama. Maybe I'll write about it later.
Middlest has a new job and has moved out on her own to start over again. And that's a good thing. And that's all I have to write about it.
Littlest got her call for her job opening and will be shipping out to Marine Corps. Recruit Training on December 2cd. I certainly will write about it later....
and on Thursday Biggest saw her doctor, who told her to get ready because she didn't see her lasting more than a few days. She has some early signs right now and we are on baby watch this weekend. Cross your fingers because she's (in Her words) "over it" and ready to get this done: ) So hopefully, I will be writing about that very soon!
UPDATE: 11/18 No baby yet but I did get this text from Biggest last night:
OPERATION D-----C-----AKA No More Negotiations.
Mission: Extract the highly elusive D---C--- from hiding. She has been spotted in caves as far as Pakistan but is currently believed to be living as an intruder inside a civilian. Take warning, she is considered to be highly erratic and bullheaded and is a master of martial arts, torture and mind manipulation. Take any means necessary to bring her down, but we want her alive. Best of luck.
(And That's why I love my kids)
Ok. So we just had the Most Epic full moon in history, What can ya do? Keep living of course.
In the course of one week my life changed considerably.
Last time around Biggest was worried about not feeling the baby move enough.
Yesterday I got a text:
Biggest: Oh, I had a kickboxing tournament from 6PM to 3AM that could've earned a domestic abuse charge, so we feel better. My arm was resting on my stomach texting and the first time she hit it jarred my arm so hard I almost lost my phone..
She and DecentGuy are getting excited. Only two months to go till November!
Middlest and my future son in law-Murphy'sLaw- are having a shot gun wedding in Georgia this November and I will be getting a Second Grandchild in May. He has a whole lot of proving to do before I change his name. I'm not worried about my future Grandchild reading this and wondering about the name because all it takes is an internet search to find the 6 mug shots.
But I offer hope. When Biggest met DecentGuy in High School his name was Shithead so we will just keep praying. Trying not to cry anymore with marginal success.
Littlest is still here. Government fiscal year-- is October 1st-if we still have a government- and the Marine Corps job openings will be posted and she will likely know her ship date for sure.
I'm betting on November though it could be sooner. She's in the process of packing up everything in her room and I can't bear to look.
In other news, The SeaMonkey turned 50! He obviously got more than he expected for his birthday this year and he's already suffering from a bad case of Empty Nest Syndrome but luckily there have been some waves.
I have been reading a long list of horror stories and it occurred to me that I'm trying to find something that scares me more than my real life.....Still reading...
anyway....
This insanity is obviously going to last awhile so..
Belated Moon Music.
Forgive if I haven't caught up on your blogs yet. I appreciate the support more than I can say but I'm just a little burnt out right now....
For various reasons I have had all three of my girls around the house a great deal lately. This is not the case normally and I admit it is a little fun and ..um..interesting. We tend to spend a lot of time on our back yard balcony discussing every thing under the sun.
Recent conversations included this:
Littlest: I hate extreme feminists. I think women should be equal but that doesn't mean they have to freak out about everything. "This isn't fair-that isn't fair."
I mean, Why does everything have to be an insult to your vagina.
Middlest: I'm joining the Navy-and since Lutherans only have male pastors, I'm using the college money they offer to become a Presbyterian Minister.
Biggest: You can't be a pastor. I'll burst into flames.
We are having one of those weeks when the hormonal and moon collision is spectacular, but that didn't stop our chats. For instance, we were out back when Middlest announced, "I think I heard a murder plot this morning." What? I don't know, I was outside and from the other side of the fence I heard a man say, "I'm gonna kill that SOB!" What? Who was it? Did you look? It's trash day, was it a trash collector or on eof the people working on the house next door? "I don't know, she replied, if I'm hearing a murder plot I'm not gonna stick my head over the fence and take a look. "
No. She''ll just announce it on the back porch.
Later I saw Middlest running out of the kitchen and told her to go back and finish her work. She screeched, I will when they're out of there! I don't feeling like dealing with their crap right now! I went outside and asked Biggest what happened.
"I asked her what was wrong with her!"
I sighed, She on her period, just ignore her and leave her alone."
Which is when Littlest piped up loudly with,
"So What?" Pointing to Biggest she announced, She's pregnant and I AM TOO!"
..............What?
No ; ) She meant she had her period too.(Let's all give Thanks, shall we)
But the neighbors will never know the difference.
By this time Mid had returned and we all had a good belly laugh. We decided to give up on the day and created a kitten pile in the living room and watched America's Got Talent reruns for 4 hours.
Because these days are going to become as scarce and rare as unicorns before long. They are all grown. They have all seen their destiny and are moving toward it at the speed of light.
Or at least the speed you need to reach the moon.
The Boss Lady That's Who! And she's asked me to help spread the word.
Is on the job-or otherwise- crazy making you reach for the Valium because there is no place else to turn without fear of reprisal? Missing out on that raise? Even getting fired? Not to mention not being invited to the Mary Kay Party in the break room. Do you need a place to safely and discretely vent on the sneaky, creepy or just plain incompetent?
Well there's a new boss in the corner office and she's here to help!
Just past the sign up sheet for the motivational conference and a quick duck behind the cubicle of the co-worker waving a wrapping paper order form for her kids school fundraiser, you will find
No. No we will not give you two thousand dollars to go to Africa and teach for three weeks with a missionary group because that's the cheapest way to do it. You haven't been to church in seven years. And we don't have $2,000 to spare. But. I do love your heart and that you want to help. In a way I wish I could send you, because I think you might learn some things as well as teach some. Don't give up hope. I know you think that clock is ticking but you still have a least 50 more years to accomplish your dreams. That seems like a long time. It isn't. It will be fine. I promise.
And you. You know by now that help out or get out really means Help Out, not Get Out. Oh stubborn stubborn one. But you do it your way. I'm impressed by your new found talent at work. Use it. Use it to survive while you work on that dream.The beginning of that children's book is awesome. Both the verse and the artwork. Finish It. I know you can. We're proud of you. Keep moving forward. It will be fine. I promise.
And over there....Shhh. Breathe. Breathe again. Everything will not be 100% perfect and that is ok. It will still all fall into place. Be like Mid. But Only a Little Bit. One thing at a time. You're off in all directions. Focus on pieces of the puzzle as you lay them down. It will soon be completed. Don't stare at the pile waiting in disarray. Everything is actually lining up nicely. Don't blow it all out of proportion. You will get there. You are amazing. Those dreams will work out just fine. Patience.
It will be fine. I promise.
What's that SeaMonkey? The world is crashing around our ears and we're all going to hell in a hand basket? No it isn't. No we're not. Go play your video game. It will be fine.
I promise.
Do you hear that noise? Kind of a popping sound like something exploding and bouncing off the walls? Nevermind. It's inside my head ; )
She said: Guess what I'm getting? I'm getting a Pig!
I said: ok.....What Are You Going To Do With A PiG!~Where Are You Going To Put It!
DecentGuys mom just moved to a house on four acres and she said I could have a pig. It will stay there and we can visit it on the weekends.
Like Emmets Pig, I asked ? ( A childhood favorite of all my daughters)
Yes, she giggled, like Emmets Pig.
Are you going to name it King Biggest?
No, I'm going to name it Lulu Bell.
Works for me.
I woke up at five thirty in the morning and as I came down the hall Middlest stumbled out of her room half asleep. Her blanket thrown over her pajamas her hair disheveled. She stopped and and looked at me and then proclaimed, I found proof of the existence of God. To my also half asleep stare she continued, Raccoons. I didn't say anything so she went on. Animals, there eyes glow when head lights hit them at night and you know they're there and won't hit them. There is no reason I've heard of in evolution for them to have developed that. They don't need it nature. There haven't always been headlights. The only reason for that to happen is that something new they would need it.
I said: ok.
Works for me.
I'm on the back porch.
Littlest comes out and begins to juggle oranges while singing show tunes at the top of her voice.
Look, she announced! I just figured out I how to juggle oranges, but I have to be singing Memory from Cats or I can't do it. And I can only do two at a time. She proceeds loudly with oranges occasionally flying out and bouncing on the deck.
Below I hear the sound of scraping. Our new next door neighbors are cleaning up leaves within a close enough distance to enjoy the show.
I guess they had to find out about us sooner or later.
Later the dog brought me the new ball he found.
Worked for him.
As for me, I almost didn't notice because I have been extremely busy at work...and going on rants....and hating on bushes.....
I guess this time around the moon is on me.
Exceptional Moon Music
Oh! And someone found my blog by searching 'Last Brain Cell.'
Big: I need you to cut all my hair off! Right Now!
Me: I'm cutting meat right now but...ok.
Big: I'm coming over right now because if I wait I'll chicken out.
Me: Why do you suddenly want your hair cut?
Big: Because I woke up this morning and I was trapped in bed. It wrapped around the bed post and I couldn't get up! It has to go NOW!
Me: ok Rapunzel, come on over. But you can't cry. No Crying.
I was terrified. Even giving her a trim can lead to hysterics.
Littlest asked what was going on and then proclaimed, No! She can't! Short hair Is My Thing!!
Me: Don't worry about it.
So she came. DecentGuy followed her in looking nervous. How short are you getting it, he kept asking. I want it all off, she answered, above my shoulders. I want it short. DecentGuy looked like he might cry. Not because he was worried about how her hair would look but because he would have to live with the repercussions. I'm not cutting it short I reassured him. Yes, you are, Biggest exclaimed, I want it all gone.
I said...ok..
Then I cut it to her shoulder blades. She said it wasn't short enough. So I took off another quarter inch.
She checked it in the mirror, swinging the waves flowing around the middle of her back.
It's short!
Me: Yes it is. Ok, she smiled, that's perfect. She showed DecentGuy, Look, it's short! DecentGuy looked very relieved and humored her too agreed with her. And she didn't cry!
Littlest was very relieved too because, of course no one is allowed to have short hair but her.
(I guess short hair in your mind doesn't count)
Unfortunately Middlest went behind my back a few weeks ago and Let Someone Cut Her Hair! I was outraged. The traitor. I had very good reason to refuse to cut her hair! It was pretty.
Littlest was outraged too because....no one is allowed to have short hair but her. She ranted when Middlest came home with a mid neck bob. The only way to console her was to point out that she still had : The Shortest Hair. She was barely appeased but only because Middlest told her that no one hits on her anymore. Littlest thought this was a fairly good vindication, as she put it, Good! My Entire Life whenever we were together all the guys stared at you. Well, they don't anymore, replied Mid. Not even creepy losers hit on me now....sometimes homeless guys still do....
Once I started to get used to it I thought it was pretty cute but then she came to me yesterday and said, I think I might let my hair grow out....
I said: ok. Why don't they listen to their mother the first time?
At least she didn't cry. She did cry at Seaworld on Monday because the orca exhibit was still closed. A year ago she went with her Marine Science class and called me crying. She thought by now it would be open. Nope. So this time she called me crying and her boyfriend was there to enjoy it. I asked her if he thought she was nuts for crying about the whales. So she asked him if he thought she was nuts and he said, "not anymore than I did before." This one is obviously fitting right in around here.
Though Littlest complains about her hair and begs me to cut it again about every two weeks she has not cried about it. However she injured her arm a few weeks ago at jiu jitsu and it's not getting better. Her doctor couldn't find anything wrong when it first happened and said if it isn't better by next week we should come back for a second xray because a stress fracture sometimes takes a few weeks to show up. Yep. A hairline fracture. She was looking forward to her first big tournament on the 24th and her dad and her instructor ganged up on her yesterday to explain that she had to accept that if the doctor doesn't clear her next week she can't compete. And yes.. she cried. : {
Oh. Come to think of it, while he was here DecentGuy lifted his cap and HAH!! He Had Hair! Normal Hair!! I really wasn't sure because the last time I saw hair on him he was 16 and it was standing straight up in a Mohawk. I thought maybe he did permanent damage ; ) Or accidentally glued that cap to his head 9 years ago using Elmers to make that Mohawk work.
It's hard to believe that Littlest is nearly halfway through her sixteenth year. So much about her seems to jump from twelve to thirty. In good ways. Don't misunderstand me! In many ways she is an average teenage girl. She likes clothes. Cares about her hair and make-up. Listens to music. She has a boyfriend and likes to hang out with her...well... her one female friend she can abide. She has posters on the walls of her room....Marine Corp recruiting posters...not pop stars or kittens but.....posters anyway....
Three times a week, more if she is off from school, she walks in to a cinder block building with no heat or air and spars with grown men twice her size. Or the one woman who is a black belt and occasionally comes in. She revels in it. She is thrilled with her power and intimidated by nothing. She takes her lumps and savors them as a learning experience. Her eyes glitter with delight at what she accomplishes. She was in her first Brazilian Jiu Jitsu match recently. It was just a small one but she did very well. When we first walk in a guy from her class comes up grinning, tells her, "I feel sorry for whoever gets in there with The Technician." Yes. She already has a nickname with her classmates. There wasn't anyone to evenly match with her. At five foot four and 127lbs. (of pure muscle) the closest to her size was a twenty four year old young man who was ranked one belt higher than her. I watched, amazed at the fluidity of her movements. Surprised at the beauty of this dance of strength, skill and will. At the end she popped up slightly mussed, but calm cool and collected. Her opponent was red faced and out of breath. His hair standing straight up, his Gi falling off. It was a draw and they both received a medal. Though when she went to her next class the instructor told her that as far as points went she had actually won. I think there may have been some saving face for the more experienced student going on. But that is fine. It was her first time out and good practice for a larger tournament this spring. She is very pleased with herself.
At home, after the fight she happily carried her medal into her room. Later she came running in the kitchen, jumping up and down and waving her arms around. Look, she exclaimed, I have a black eye! Pulling her hair back from her forehead she exhibited a swollen, deep purple blood vessel on her brow bone oozing blue stains into her eyelid. I'm bruised, she shouted excitedly, clapping her hands. "I'm injured!" She grinned from ear to ear like she had just won Homecoming Queen.
That's my girl. : )
Moon Music
I'm gonna go find a place to hide from Littlest if she watches this video now.....
I thought I would continue the theme of picking on Littlest. Something very strange has been happening to her recently and has come to a head this week..
Littlest is what you might call a slightly late bloomer. At least by today's standards. She has never been the flirty type and held herself in reserve when it came to boys. She turned her nose up at the constant boyfriend switching her friends participated in during middle school. She rolled her eyes at Middlest whenever she proclaimed herself 'In love '-Again. In her early teens she focused her affection on a boy who barely knew she was alive for a long time and was satisfied with adoring him from afar. Until she got close enough to really know him and that was the end of that. She has always been the exact opposite of boy crazy and because of her aloof manner unfortunately attracted boys who were inappropriately to old for her for some time. She would deftly avoid the situation until they went away.
She hasn't necessarily been happy being boyfriend-less though. For a long time she lacked confidence, feeling Middlest was prettier than her and got more attention from boys. Starting about the middle of ninth grade and continuing on through her sophomore year she created her mantra:
"I'm Going To Die ALONE"
She even carved it in our picnic table.
Finally, last September when she became a Junior, a boy whom she has actually known some time got the nerve up to ask her out. I have mentioned this briefly before and they are still an item.
But. As soon as she became happily ensconced in having someone to sit with at lunch and hold hands with in the hall something started to happen.
It started with a boy she liked briefly last year who chose a slightly more.... 'wild' girl instead. After realizing and discarding his mistake he found Littlest otherwise occupied and um..cried.
There was the one who also was interested in Jiu Jitsu and was harboring some hope during the 'Homecoming Incident.' but had to back away. He is suffering from terminal jealousy and Today he very meanly asked Lit's boyfriend if , "he was embarrassed that his girlfriend could beat him up." The boyfriend is a quiet boy. He didn't respond. The other is pretty lucky they were at school because Littlest might have beat him up instead.
Then. There is a...young man, now I guess, who has been pining for Middlest for twelve years. Starting in 1st grade. No Joke. He has been Middlests boyfriend in 5th & 8th grade and for a short time during Sophomore year. In between they were just buddies and wrestled and threw rocks at each other in the front yard or complained about the people they Were dating. This is a great kid. The kind any parent of girls would Love their daughter to date. The kind Most Girls would knock themselves out trying to catch. There is even family history. His mom dated The SeaMonkey briefly in High School.... then again, who didn't?...but anyway....He's a terrific kid but all the same Mid says,
"I can't date him anymore because he's like my brother."
So. Recently he found out Littlest has been working out at the same gym and suggested they start working out together because he couldn't find anyone else as dedicated as he is. So they did.
Now Littlest has been in the middle of all the wrestling and rock throwing all along but apparently his eyes just opened and it took about a week for him to fall for Littlest instead.
(Can you say, Little Women?..I knew you could.)
That would be Littlest who says... "No, I'm happy with my boyfriend...and
"I can't date him. He's like my brother."
I told The SeaMonkey we should have had more daughters to give him a few more shots at being related to us since he seems determined ; )
Littlest was relieved that he is transferring to an out of state college this week because she likes having him as a friend and felt bad. He isn't giving up easy though. he left her with a care package. A backpack full of Ramen noodles, chocolate, martial arts movies, some spare shin guards and a Hello Kitty pillow. Oh, and a three page letter explaining how Awesome she is.
Very industrious this one. But then, he knows her very well.
Still. According to Littlest, no one can beat her guitar playing, theatre performing, dorky, long haired boy who likes to sport a fedora and a vest and gave her a giant Key Blade for Christmas, (pretty much the key to her heart) even if she is stronger than him.
But as for the young lady who despaired that she wasn't attractive and was certain that she would never find love and
Oh. Yes. After harassing Bleeps department store I left on my trip. Now that I returned last night and made a mad dash to the store for turkey and stuff, alleviating my anxiety that they would be out of those little white heat and serve rolls, and am under the influence of over a weeks worth of laundry, I can take a moment between cycles to catch up.
I left just at the moment of the full moon and so was not able to give my monthly report. However, being away did not stop the lunacy at all and I can now share Novembers events.
First, and simplest of all, the night before I left,
Biggest called.
And told me I have a new grandchild.
His name is Eugene. He is approximately 7 to 8 weeks old. We weren't home an hour before she was calling to see if she could bring him over. Apparently Eugene's Mama was carrying him across a road when a jerk in a truck almost hit her and she dropped Eugene and ran into the woods. A nice lady saw this and stopped to get him out of the road but Eugene's mama never came back so she scooped him up and the natural magnetism of the earth aided by the full moon brought her in the direction of Biggest.
Now Eugene has a new Mama.
We also had some teenage drama in the week before I left. The night before I left , a Thursday, was Homecoming week at Littlests' school. She and her boyfriend had mutually decided that wasn't their bag. However Lits' boyfriend has a female friend that Littlest just barely abides, because she doesn't trust her. So. This young lady kept lamenting the fact that she was not going to Homecoming so pitifully, and pathetically, and constantly that a few days before Homecoming Lits boyfriend took pity on her and volunteered to take her and sent Littlest a message letting her know and asking if since he was going anyway did she want to tag along too.
Yeah.
The sequence of reactions from both Littlests' friends and family went some thing like this:
What? Dump him. Can he really be that dense? He can't be that dense?
Yes. He. Can.
So she dumped. They both cried. Then he must have performed some kind of desperate gesture because within 24 hours He was not going to Homecoming and Thursday night he was hanging out at our house with Littlest, watching movies. Wait...wait...this is the full moon part...During the course of the evening...
I Heard Her GIGGLE- I've been sworn to secrecy but that's why I'm anonymous.
Last of all. I may have mentioned Middlests' singing before. Mid has a full rich voice that could grace a mezzo soprano diva. And the pitch of....a toddler with a wiffle ball. If she sings along with someone she does ok but otherwise it is something akin to a cat fight. She was able to tune her instruments by ear with no problem. Maybe playing in bass clef all those years confused her brain. I bought the girl an Irish whistle on our trip and in less than 24 hours she has worked out, Oh Danny Boy and part of the theme song to Lord of the Rings. I don't know what the disconnect is with her vocal cords but one of the things I love about her is that it doesn't stop her. She sings her heart out. It doesn't matter where either. She often sings while walking or riding her bike down the road. Which leads me to the phone call I received from her while I was gone. It went like this.
Mom. I'm walking home from work and first that stray cat started following me again and I was walking along with him and was singing and was halfway thru the cut through neighborhood and three police cars suddenly came tearing up and stopped to question me because someone reported I was walking down the road threatening to kill myself.
What?! What did they say?
They said someone called and then they asked if I was alright and where I was coming from and where I was going and made me show them my ID. I told them I was perfectly happy I was just going home and singing. Then they asked if that was my cat and I said no.
What on earth were you singing?
Nothing really. Just some Rancid ........
and The Hare Krishna Song.
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As for The SeaMonkey and I we had a wonderful time. It has been over two years since we went on a vacation and visited the mountains. And though we do get to travel for business and spend some time together we realized it had actually been ten years since we have been able to go on a vacation trip together. Just us. That was way overdue and though we missed our girls at certain landmarks it was nice We really needed it.
We drove to Virginia where there were still a few pockets of gorgeous fall color and then followed the Blue Ridge Parkway down to North Carolina and across to Tennessee where we played in The Smokies for several days. We had some lovely cold weather and I sat on my rock.
This is my rock.
And I could play with all the smaller rocks to my hearts content.
We had a couple days of really good rain and the rivers swelled and were raging. And then best of all, up in the mountains of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, It Snowed! I know many of you live in places where the trees become bare and it snows tons so winter isn't a big deal but to people who don't get a serious winter it can be very exciting. That morning it snowed for four hours leaving about a 1/4 inch on the ground and getting drifts of maybe 1/2 inch! ; ) Snow does something to natural born Floridians and others from warmer climates. For four hours we played around in the snow and watched others do the same. All ages, young and old, acting silly, taking pictures, throwing snow, catching snow, dancing around in snow and just watching in wonder as it fell on us. It was as much fun as playing in it to drive past and watch a group of people with cameras and looks of pure delight on their faces jumping around in ecstasy and joy. We craned our necks to check as we passed. Yep. Florida tags : )
The next morning there were still a few pockets in the shaded places and I did what any good Southerner would do with a wealth of half inch of snow
Made the worlds smallest snowman!
I had my fall and winter all in one week and it was wonderful : )
I told The SeaMonkey I was going to have all the snow pictures blown up, paste them to the windows and have my own personal white Christmas. But even if it ends up being 80 I am feeling Refreshed and Blessed and Thankfulbeyond words. Bring on The Holidays! I'm ready.
HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
and if you're one of my friends from outside the US, have a Wonderful Week in general and eat some turkey anyway, just cause it's Awesome ; )
Want to know how I used to amuse myself before I began blogging? Here is an example.
The following are a series of emails I have been exchanging with Bleeps Department Store.
If you sign up for their sale alert emails they offered to give you a 10% online or $5.00 in store discount on your next purchase. So I went for it. Why not?
First I got this:
Thank you for signing up to receive Bleep.com Sale Alerts!
To welcome you to Sale Alerts, you will receive two special offers:
- A $5 coupon to use in our stores - A 10% off Promo Code to use online
THESE SPECIAL OFFERS WILL ARRIVE IN A SEPARATE E-MAIL WITHIN 10 DAYS. As a subscriber to our e-mail Sale Alerts, you'll hear about our biggest sales, shipping deals, credit offers and so much more! Every week, we'll send you up-to-the-minute info on our great sale prices. And, you'll periodically receive other great savings offers, like these:
- FREE Standard Shipping on your order (with a minimum purchase)
- EXTRA SAVINGS when you Checkout with your Bleep Charge Card
- NEW Markdowns in our Clearance Department
- BIG savings in every department
Plus, every e-mail includes an easy opt-out feature, so you can choose to unsubscribe* at any time. Please note, you may receive a sale alert before your welcome offer.
Thanks again for subscribing to Bleeps Sale Alerts! Stay tuned for more great savings, coming your way soon!
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Then on November 8th, I sent this:
Hello,
I signed up for email alerts on October 21 and was supposed to receive an online discount or $5.00 off coupon for in store by email within ten days but have never received anything. Can you give me any info? Thank you.
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Then I received this:
Dear Ms. G,
Thank you for contacting Bleeps regarding our Sale Alerts promotion. I appreciate the opportunity to review your concern.
I regret that you did not receive an e-mail containing your $5 coupon and 10% promo code. Please allow 7-10 business days for these offers to arrive. To ensure timely delivery of our e-mails, please add Bleeps.com to your list of approved senders and check your spam blocker. We are unable to send a duplicate e-mail or issue physical coupons.
If the designated timeframe passes and you still do not receive these offers, we have the following alternatives:-You may place an online order and we will be happy to credit 10% off the order and honor free standard shipping when you e-mail us the order number.
-You may make a purchase in-store using your Bleeps Charge and we will credit $5 to your account when you e-mail us the numbers at the top of your purchase receipt (beginning with the purchase date). Please also include your billing address so we can locate your account.
The $5 coupon and the 10% promo code are not valid on the purchase of Bleeps Gift Cards. E-mail addresses previously signed up for e-mail Sale Alerts are not eligible to receive the $5 coupon and the 10% promo code. Also, the $5 coupon and the 10% promo code cannot be used together. If you choose to place a Bleeps.com order, priority shipping and the shipping surcharges are excluded from this offer. We are unable to process credits to credit cards other than Bleeps for in-store purchases.I hope these options are suitable and I sincerely apologize for any inconvenience you experienced because the offers were not received.
We appreciate the time you took to contact us and look forward to serving you again at Bleeps.com.
Sincerely,
****** S.
eService Advocate
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------So I answered with this:
Hi ***** S,
Thank you for responding. As I mentioned in my original email, I registered for email alerts on October 21. That would be 13 business days, not including the 21st which was a Friday. Not to mention the offer said nothing about business days, but no big deal. The email is not in my Spam filter. I was able to check it because I always forget to empty it. The Advertising Alerts somehow managed to get through just fine. Perhaps they will be directed to my Spam box in the future. I do not have a Bleeps Charge nor do I wish to get one. I also only rarely shop online as there is a Bleeps store only 10 minutes from my house. I was planning on doing some shopping there this morning. Perhaps my car will be directed somewhere else in the future.
I appreciate your taking the time to contact me in return.
Sincerely,
Ms. G
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And Got This:
I appreciate the opportunity to assist you with your $5 coupon. I can certainly see why you want to take advantage of this great offer. I know saving money is important for all of us, and shopping with Bleeps is a great way to stretch those dollars.
To ensure timely delivery of our e-mails, please add Bleeps.com to your list of approved senders and check your spam blocker. We are unable to send a duplicate e-mail or issue physical coupons.
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****** W.
eService Advocate
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ok. In my draft box I have this reply:
Hello ***W,
Thank you for taking the time to contact me over $5.00.
I'm sorry if I seem grumpy, I know it's not a huge issue but considering I have spent nearly $343.94 at Bleeps during the past month and approximately $600.00 since August, I did find it rather annoying. After all just think how much that $5.00 coupon could have stretched those dollars.That $5.00 might pay for half a pair of socks or the lining in some underpants at your store.
I quote myself from the previous email, "The email is not in my Spam filter. I was able to check it because I always forget to empty it. " My email client sends Spam directly to a folder, if it even catches it, which it usually doesn't. The only specific filters I have created would go into effect if Bleeps was trying to date me or Love Me Long Time. Which they obviously don't intend to do. But that's ok. Don't worry yourself. I'll get over it eventually. After all I know it's not me. It's you.
Luv Your Friend,
Ms. G
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you think?
Should I send it?
Am I Quibbling? ; )
I am leaving tomorrow on my Obviously Much Needed Vacation! I will not be taking any media devices with me...which is probably a swell idea too. If I miss you today I'll catch ya when I get back! For now I better get busy ( Driving back to Bleeps Dept. Store because the Associate forgot to take the alarm tag off the coat I bought yesterday) because I have just spent about $50.00 worth of my time on $5.00
I was trying to think of a title and my husband came in and told me he was going surfing. However it is Most Awesome October! The moon kind of snuck up on me this month. But it's Bitchin!
Anyway....
Biggest called.
At least three times to say she was gonna kill Middlest but so far she hasn't kicked her out.
Middlest celebrated by bringing home a flea ridden kitten she found at the bus stop. This is almost a pre-requisite to living at Biggests' house but I don't think she was expecting it. I'm not going to remind her that once the kitty litter makes it through the front door you are committed. Not to the cat. To the sister. Although she should know this because every time she wants to kill DecentGuy and move home, I ask what she is going to do with all those animals. He owes me big time for keeping his marriage intact. Oh wait. He's putting up with TWO of my daughters. hee hee.
Yeah. I know. How did he fall for this idea? Whatever was he thinking?
Maybe he should take up surfing with the SeaMonkey. Excellent place to hide. Anyway....
Littlest has been kicking butts left and right and getting stripes on her belt at Jiu Jitsu (Pardon me) BRAZILIAN JIU JITSU because apparently the world will end if you don't differentiate between the different types. She is not kicking butt in school which may mean she will be kicking her own butt which will be firmly planted on the GROUND. At Home. For quite some time if she doesn't get past worrying about breaking up with the poor boy she's been going out with and focus on school. The weekend of her birthday she came up and asked if she could go to the movies with ----. I said, 'yes' and she said she wasn't sure and I said, "You are 16 years old. GO On A Date and Have Some Fun." So she did but now he doesn't know enough about BRAZILIAN Jiu Jitsu and she doesn't know enough about playing guitar and apparently this is grounds for dating annulment.
She keeps following me around asking, "How do you break up with a boy?"
I told her I have no idea. I honestly can't remember. She would not let up and I told her to ask her dad. After all, he's a boy. He asked what was going on and I said, "Would you please tell her how to break up with someone?" To which he helpfully called out,
"I used to just tell them I was dating another girl but I don't know if you want to try that one!"
Yeah. I know : ) What a great idea. Whatever would I do without him? He So deserves to go surfing.
Anyway.....
Octubular Moon Music
UPDATE! Littlest informed me at dinner that she was giving the boy another chance because he started working out. He said he was tired of his girlfriend being stronger than him. Apparently this is cute. ; )
So. Middlest had her Wisdom teeth taken out. I always thought that meant just extracting some extra teeth but I'm starting to wonder.
She no longer had coverage so we paid for it. It Was Very Expensive. She came home and lay around on the couch and acted like she was dying and left messes wherever she roamed. Middlest is messy. Not just a little messy. I've given her a break about on my blog so far but she is Ridiculous messy. No threat or punishment has ever curbed it.
When she grew up a couple weeks ago she was told our house rules for adults. Keep your room clean. Pick up after yourself around the house. We will let you ease into the next level. At our house if you choose to skip the extended childhood option and not continue your education, you are expected to take on all of your own living expenses. We told her to continue to keep up her end of the chores around here and we would pay for her phone for awhile and she didn't have to pay rent-YET, so that she could continue to save money. We live in biking distance of her job and she could do that till she had enough for a car. Just don't be a slob and we are all good.
The day after her surgery she was lying around on the couch all day watching TV and dying behind a landfill on the coffee table. I didn't harass her because I knew she wasn't feeling great. Her pain pills kicked in and she decided she felt better. And her friend was having a party that night. So she was going to go. I mentioned that she was supposed to take it easy. She said she was going crazy and needed to get out. Ok. "If you have problems with healing you are on your own."
Later her dad came in and when he went to her room to tell her to pick up the empty pudding cup and spoon he found on the table in the entryway she was not there. Her room, however, was. And so was the two feet of crap thrown all over the floor and a collection of dirty glasses, etc, etc. When I told him she went to a party he went a little ballistic. Because you see, she was dying and couldn't clean up but she was up for a party. Not to mention, not following the dentists orders after we paid for it. So he gave her a call and said as much. He told her if she couldn't have the courtesy to take proper care of herself after we spent a fortune on her mouth to help her and couldn't even be bothered to pick up after herself she needed to move out.
And she said, 'fine' and he said, 'fine' and she said, 'fine' and he said 'fine' and then....
Biggest called.
She said, "What is going on here? I want to hear the whole story before I make up my mind!"
So I told her. And she said: "She can live with us if she wants but I told her if she wanted to we need to talk now and she started telling me she was at a party and didn't want to leave and I told her we would pick her up and would talk about it Now or Not At All. So, she said that was fine and we are picking her up. I don't know if she realizes what I will expect but she will soon"
She told Mid:
You WILL pick up after yourself.
You WILL help with household cleaning.
You WILL scrub your room before you leave. You aren't leaving Mom and Dad with that mess.
You WILL NOT have anyone over after ten.
You WILL NOT have anyone in my house when we are not here.
You WILL learn to take the bus.
You WILL look for a second job because you don't make enough to get by.
You WILL contribute to groceries and be responsible for your own extras. And..
You WILL pay $100.00 a month in rent-to start.
"Or You Are Out. The End. No Excuses because I don't put up with any crap and I will throw you out!"
And Mid said, "ok"
?....????????????????
She came home the next day and cleaned the room. (Which is what we wanted to begin with) and packed her stuff and moved in with Biggest and DecentGuy.
So now she is paying rent to have the same rules she had here plus a few and be farther away from work.
Not to mention she has to live with Biggest who is an insane neatness freak and makes their Dad look like ...I don't know...a bunny?.... when it comes to enforcement. She also doesn't have cable tv or internet.
The SeaMonkey said,
"I didn't mean she Had to move out. All she had to do was clean her room."
Littlest said,
"Awesome! I don't have to look at her mess anymore and she won't eat all the food before I get any!"
I said.....ok......
Conversations with my daughters over the past week.
Biggest: I have an eight year old with the priviliges of an 18 year old living in my house.
She really doesn't get it.
Are you sure there isn't something wrong with her? (No)
We put fresh batteries in our smoke alarms. (Good Thinking)
We were outside and I was giving her advice and she didn't hear any of it. She just sat there
and stared at the moon.
Me: I told you so.
Middlest: I love it here! I can see dolphins.
I painted my room green!
I bought candles!
We sat outside and watched the moon : )
Me: Did you get a chance to come by today and use the computer like you wanted?
Mid: No. Biggest made me stay here all day and clean.
Littlest: Look! There is still a whole box of cereal!! Hey! I can watch whatever I want on TV!
Me: Don't get too happy. Now we have no one else to focus on but you.
Lit: I give it a week, maybe two, until Biggest sends her back.
We shall see. Of course I really shouldn't be surprised. Afterall, I saw it coming.
Middlest moving out? No, not that............
(We seem to be starting a theme within a theme here)
For those of you that don't speak Byrne:
Watch out you might get what you're after
Cool babies strange but not a stranger
I'm an ordinary guy
Burning down the house
Hold tight wait till the party's over
Hold tight We're in for nasty weather
There has got to be a way
Burning down the house
Here's your ticket pack your bag: time for jumpin' overboard
The transportation is here
Close enough but not too far, Maybe you know where you are
Fightin' fire with fire
All wet hey you might need a raincoat
Shakedown dreams walking in broad daylight
Three hun-dred six-ty five de-grees
Burning down the house
It was once upon a place sometimes I listen to myself
Gonna come in first place
People on their way to work baby what did you except
Gonna burst into flame
My house S'out of the ordinary
That's right Don't want to hurt nobody
Some things sure can sweep me off my feet
Burning down the house
No visible means of support and you have not seen nuthin' yet
Everything's stuck together
I don't know what you expect starring into the TV set
Fighting fire with fire
Burning down the house
Whoa.......Where did all these spoons in the silverware drawer come from.........?
UPDATE: 9:00 AM Mid just called me and said she was coming by today. She needed to pick up her bike and her Social Security card...oh....and have a bowl of cereal....
You are of course the prettiest, sweetest, smartest, strongest baby on earth
and we love you very much.
The Middlest Baby Book, August 1993
My Moonbeam. Is. All. Grown. Up. When Middlest was very small she asked if she could sleep with the moon in her bed. Being nothing if not indulgent parents we set about to take care of that. I drew a template on poster board. Her dad bought wood and we traced the crescent moon and he sawed the piece. 1/2 inch pine. None of that flimsy pressed board for my baby. I bought glow in the dark paint and covered the piece thoroughly. You can always see the moon in Middlests room.
My Mid
How appropriate that your moment of rising to adulthood coincides with the rising of a spotlight. The moon full of itself and glowing in all her glory just for You. I am sure of it. The gentle light reflects your gentle nature. Why just look at these definitions I found for 'mooning' in my editor dictionary.
Behave or move in a listless and aimless manner lying in bed eating candy, mooning around
Act in a dreamily infatuated manner of course we won't count that other definition of mooning because I know you would never do that. Well..at least not since you turned 5...and only once in a McDonalds play maze...that I know of...but anyway.....
Happy 18th Birthday to My Middlest- My Moonlight. Because my Moonshine don't sound quite right ; )
I know you will light your own path. I know that when you seem like you have nothing left at all that you will regenerate and come back again. I have seen it over and over. Now it is time to let go. You can't really hold the moon on earth can you? It has to rise and fall on it's own. It has to grow in its own time and if it loses some of itself along the way there is nothing to prevent it. It has its own magic and always returns to the fullness of being. It always shines through the darkness. And it's very likely that it is Swiss Cheese. Or can live on Swiss Cheese...or something like that..... I LOVE YOU. And thank you for deciding to put put that damn tattoo where I will never see it unless you're in a bikini and I'm glad that at least it's that beautiful orca you drew and not a skull or something. ok.? still hope you chicken out....
There comes a time when these things are out of our hands. These moments are starting to rush up on me. This is now out of my control. Breathe deep. It's time to step back and just watch her rise on her own.
which was really lovely and hit the spot. A June full of hyper heat that broke records and a July that is not living up to it's reputation. A week of downpours flooding my soul like wine. A giddiness that floats to the surface and pops like little bubbles on my mood. They burst. Then July smooths my heart down with a sweep of it's hand. Flattens the wrinkles in my nature like a good housewife keeping order on my soul. Tucks in hospital corners, all business, none of this foolishness. No jumping on the beds and hiding beneath the drifting sheet. I stifle the giggles but it is apparent I will be discovered. A lump smack in the center and wondering how to escape. It's so suffocating here. I watch the sky. I see a haze of gray in the distance. But it is a lie. A tease. Stock still beyond my reach. Try to induce magic by tapping the wind chimes into action. A little prompt maybe......they were a gift you know. From someone I loved. A doting father. July cheats. July steals. It stares me in the face in the morning and challenges my accusations.
It rained for a full week. What else do you want? At least no one died.
The moon remains silent. She keeps her own counsel this time around.
Lets July take the blame.
Wow. I almost thought I didn't really have any full moon incidents and as I was staring at my computer last night dumbfounded....
Biggest Called.
She said: You promise you won't yell.
I yelled. WHAT?
And then she told me a story.
Middlest who had just returned home and went straight to the shower had been standing outside a convenience store talking to an acquaintance. A young man she has know for a few years and who has mental issues and has been in trouble many times. She has been told, begged with, and ordered to avoid this person. His behaviour toward her has bordered on stalking from time to time but then seems to level off and she will (stupidly) speak to him because he is acting normal. Which he was doing last night until he suddenly grabbed her wrists and shoved her up against the wall of the building and pinned her there, made some profane comments and refused to let go until after she had struggled with him for several minutes and got her hand free long enough to strike at him and then ran and took off on her bike.
Following family tradition, with the police department right around the corner and a row of businesses to go in for help and a cell phone in her hand, she called:
Her Sister.
Who then called me because Mid was afraid to tell us because she thought we would be angry at her for talking to the boy to begin with. Which is of course insane. Please reiterate to your children. Always tell! And call 911 for Pete's sake. We taught her that as soon as she was old enough to dial a phone.
It brought up the question again of why Mid is our only child not to learn a martial art but she did attend a self defense class at our local police department a few years ago. She was so shocked and surprised by an unexpected attack from someone she knew, and was having a normal conversation with, that it all flew out the window. But, this guy has been known to do this kind of thing before. Where she made her mistake was assuming it would be ok because he had not acted that way with her. Yet.
So anyway, by that time Biggest was in action. Bat Girl went into full duty. When she told me they were driving around and she had her bat in the back of the truck I told her to get her Bat Behind to my house and knock it off. We were calling the police. Bat girl hasn't interacted with the local PD in a long time and I think she was a little let down when we told her to leave the room while Mid made her report instead of leading the investigation herself. But we made the report and I don't know if anything will come of it this time around but at least we have a start if we have another issue.
Middlest was scared to death. I've never seen her that shook up. I was very concerned about her being afraid we would be angry with Her because she was talking to the guy to begin with. Was it a bad decision? Yes. Does that matter? NO. My usual best parenting advice on this one. Talk. Talk. Talk. and then pray. That's about all you can do. Hopefully some of it will stick. Eventually.
Littlest's offer to take him apart because she is still underage and can get away with it wihtout getting in as much trouble was Declined.
But the thought was deeply appreciated.
The Legendary Bat Girl, Biggest turns 24 tomorrow which is always a week long celebration and this weekend we will celebrate the once very young and new daddy who came home from the hospital the night she was born to find our cat had kittens in the closet and fell asleep on the floor with his head among the shoes and gentle purrs of that mama and her babies because he could not be with us. Almost half a century ago. Biggest says next year she stops counting birthdays. I somehow don't think that will include not counting presents....; )
Other than that. Summer time is here. If you don't know how I feel about that yet, you soon will.
It has been an average of 96 to 100 degrees here the last couple weeks. I haven't Actually shriveled up and died yet but there is still time. It's a little early for these temperatures, even in my warm climate, so I am paying my dues for having a nice chilly winter to enjoy.
So we are having a hot, hazy, lazy summer. No plans. No details. Some funky moon to start us off last night. We will take this summer as it comes. Too hot to move. Too hot to even talk much. We escape as much as possible. We sleep late. We read. We listen to the crickets and cicadas harmonizing in the trees. Swinging on the porch swing. Daydreaming in the grass beneath the trees. Hide in the bushes with our baseball bats in case crazy people show up..Watching the sky change colors in slow motion. Rising...Purple..Pink...Golden...Blue...Gray...Green with the rage of rain in the afternoons of those lucky days... to Pink ..... Yellow.... Orange....Periwinkle....lasting forever before turning down to a milky black that never quite hits it's mark with only the stars and that Big Old Moon to swing and dream on.
We wait until dark to come alive on those endless days when there is No Rain.
I am back. And wore out. but this week was a pretty good one even in the light of...well, the moon.
Biggest called. She said,
My house is on fire! I don't know what to do! I heard a funny noise behind my dresser and I pulled it out and there were sparks coming out of the plug and I grabbed the cord to pull it out and then flames shot up the wall and DecentGuy isn't here and I have all these animals and the wall is all black and I don' t know what to do!
Now we all know the first thing you obviously do when your house is on fire.
You call your mother.
I Said,
Hang on a minute, I'll get your Dad....
(It was fine. bad cord and Friday the 13th)
Littlest has been working out and lifting weights. With a history of gymnastics she was already pretty strong and now she is powerful and she looks incredible. She also occasionally has some issues with anger and self control. So like any good parents we decided to support her interest and nurture her talents. We signed her up for a Jiujitsu class. She is very excited. She thinks it will help with her goal of being a Marine. Middlest was not pleased. She declared,
"No! You can't let her learn that. She will hurt me!"
We reassured her. " No she won't. Don't worry. If she does we will call the police."
......what?
Anyway.
For the first time ever we traveled and left the girls home on their own. ( With secret surprise visits from their sister and my MIL.) They really wanted to prove that they were trustworthy and mature enough to take care of things. We were nervous wrecks but we finally agreed. After all Middlest will be eighteen in August and as she said, "I have to be alone at some point in my life." Which is true. I have tried to teach her basic life skills. Like cooking eggs and sorting the laundry before using the washer. But then, she is the one who called after we left because the washer was making a funny noise. I thought all that was caught up and wondered what she was washing? Two bra's....and a backpack....yeah...anyway. After that I felt better about leaving them a large supply of microwaveable Ramen and Beef-a-Roni to eat rather than meals that required a stove. I left them them a detailed list of things to do to fill their every moment and exact times to check in and about 2 full pages of instructions. Including taking care of the dogs. Making sure they were fed correctly, let out often enough and that people/cat food was not left out where they could get to them and get sick.
The first day I sent a text to ask what they were up to. I received this 2 part message from Middlest:
Msg. 1: Throwing a Wild Party
Msg. 2: With Fabio
Later I made sure to let them know we arrived safely. because I know they were on pins and needles worrying about it. I sent the text:
We are here!
To which Littlest replied:
Cool. We're in Vegas.
Which gave me a moments pause because we just updated our wills and left Biggest in charge of everything if we die and also left her a hefty check to cover things temporarily in the event the worst happens.
But Karma was alive and well and the next morning when I sent a text to make sure they got up for school because I Knew They Wouldn't. I received this answer from Littlest:
"Yes. We are up. And one of the dogs got sick and messed all over the house!"
And I was far away. Even though I was in for a long day of work ahead of me, there would be a nice dinner and a quiet clean room at the end of it. One of those moments when you stretch and sigh for a moment leaning back on comfy hotel feather pillows with a small smile because you know, Ah!
Life Is Good!
When our work was through I sent a text letting them know we were heading home. To which I received this reply from Middlest:
You guys are gone for not even three days and i gut my room, quit smoking, finish my work, and overcome a crushing depression. You need to go away more often.
I said, Ok.
Besides, tells on herself for smoking when she has already been busted for it once. Obviously the same young woman that, when asked, " it's three weeks to graduation, have you finished your grade recovery and brought up your math grade?" Answered: "Yes... i....think....so....."
Oh Wait! Biggest just called me. She said her clients are all crazy and she is having a nervous breakdown! She just needed to vent for a moment.
For the past week or so I have been sweeping up shattered hearts. The initial explosion flinging fragments into the corners of our world. I gather them up in my dustpan for mending. After the initial commotion all will be quiet for a time and then from the next room I hear a small clink. From behind a bedroom door a spray of tinkling chimes hitting the floor. I swoop in with my broom to carefully gather the pieces that I know will fit back together. The hearts will be made whole again. I know this. But they are never quite the same. On first glance the surface appears to be unchanged but to the makers eye the hairline fractures are visible. If you look inside you might see tiny chips left by minuscule moments disintegrated into dust and never retrieved. The repairs will make them stronger in the end. Shore them up and add some reinforcement to guard against future blows. I spun them too fine. Only fit for velvet upholstered cases with the word 'Fragile' carefully hand lettered on fine paper cards.
I should have used a machine shop. Crafted them with stainless steel. Easily bleached clean and scratches sand out. No dents. No rust. Just a little polish now and then and good to go. But I sweep. Endlessly gathering microscopic pieces returned to sand.
Biggest called. She wanted to know if she needed to scare any boys.
I said, ok......I mean I said, "NO PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT."
When the world around me seems out of control. When everything becomes scattered in all directions and I can't seem to get it together. I usually look in the mirror and find I'm looking pretty scattered too. It always seems that outside turmoil takes root on my head. I'll look and realize my ends are scraggly and breakage is dancing about the crown and the color has gone dull or grown out to my ears and I am the poster child for the mess around me. So I take action.
I cut my hair.
Not short. Just to the shoulders. Short has never suited me but I don't think Hag does either so it has to be done. And afterword I feel a little shocked. And strangely more capable.
It was time to redo my highlights as well. I knew this because I was in the store with Littlest recently under that wonderful lighting and she suddenly looked at me and then came very close peering at the top of my head and said,
"Wow, I haven't really looked at your hair lately. You are really getting old."
I am that blonde as a child turned kind of Spanish moss color naturally with a good amount of gray thrown in. Very light highlights work best for me and I like them because they blend more naturally and my roots are more subtle as they grow in. But. I had to face facts. The fact is I still have some damage and the bleaching really fries my hair. The gray doesn't like it either. And It's also a pain in the butt to do and I didn't feel like messing with it. So. It wasn't a good idea.
I would have to completely color.
I have done it from time to time but never have been happy with the result. A couple of years ago I was in the store with Middlest and looking at a box of color when she exclaimed, "No, don't do that!" When I asked why she answered,
"That's Church Mom Blonde!"
She explained that when sitting in church she would look around and ALL of the blonde moms.. had the same color hair. She sweetly told me that she thought my hair was pretty the way I did it and I didn't look like everyone else. The next time I went to church I checked and Oh My Goodness. She was right. So that took care of that. I vowed to never become a Church Mom Blonde.
Being really smart I took Middlest to the store with me. I carefully scrutinized all the possibilities and picked up a box to read it. Once again I heard, "No, don't do that! It's Church Mom Blonde." I explained that it just had to be done and asked her opinion, "Which one doesn't look like Church Mom Blonde?"
To which she scanned the shelves and answered, "They all DO."
So. I look at the boxes claiming color depth and glittering highlight and
I KNOW THEY LIE
But I convince myself that maybe technology has improved the results and I really will have that pretty blend of bronze and gold with silver strands gilding it. Look, on the box it says my dark blonde will will glow golden and my gray will shine with shimmering light.
I BUY THE LIE.
One of the reasons I color my own hair is that I actually know what I'm doing. Or at least I did 20 years ago so I figure I'm safe. Despite the green gray cast to my natural hair I know that hidden deep in the shaft are insidious red molecules generated by my Irish ancestors. So I choose a 'cool' shade to counteract brassiness.
"Champagne Blond."
They didn't mention it would be PINK CHAMPAGNE
which is what I saw when I was toweling my hair after coloring. I had a moment of total panic and ran outside to see if it could be true. Thank Goodness. It was only a dull flat shade of "Church Mom Blonde." Until I went back in the bathroom. Which is when it occurred to me that some time ago we replaced all our bulbs with fluorescent. Whoo, that was close. I will blend in with all the other church moms and not be noticed at all. As long as I never am under fluorescent lights again.
But that's ok. I decided it might be kind of fun. I little bit of rebellion. A little bit of kick to show that I'm Not Your Typical Church Mom.
Until this morning in the kitchen when Littlest looked at me sadly and said, "Mom, don't color your hair anymore. Face it."
"YOU ARE TOO OLD"
Moon Music For My Second and Third Phases of Child Developement.
My friend Nicole may feel free to ROTFL at me and my hair ; )
