It's All About The Biggest

and The Tiniest : )



Biggest called: She said, You don't love me!

What?

You write whole posts about Mid and Littlest all the time but you never say anything about me.

What? Yes I do, BUT just for Princess PITA...

Biggest is 37 weeks pregnant. She's ALL baby. We suggested she paint her stomach orange and draw a face on it for Halloween... she didn't like that idea. She looks beautiful. She isn't due till November 22cd but the doctor told her the baby was big and really could come at any time so she's convinced she's in labor about twice a week. Though I point out to her on a regular basis that she will KNOW a real contraction when she feels one, she still calls me every few days to ask about things she's feeling. She hasn't read many books to prepare her for having a baby because she says she has ME for that, and a lot of stuff in the books about things that go wrong scare her and make her worry. Despite the fact that I haven't been pregnant in 18 years, I try to remember as well as I can. She calls at least once a week to worry that there will be something wrong with the baby. I tell her, if there is, you will deal with it. But I'm sure everything is fine. Even though her parents torture her, because Biggest was standing by the sink and DecentGuy threw a chunk of ice in it and the loud noise seemed to startle the baby and make her jump around. So they did it again.....

 She has picked out a most adorable and lovely name and I'm relieved it isn't 'Tree' or 'Axe' or 'Bobette Marley.' In keeping with her lifestyle she has decorated the nursery with a 'Forest Friends' theme from Target.

 This is the Target ad, not the real room.



The real room is small and cozy and yellow and it's the sweetest. DecentGuy worked hard painting and putting in new flooring and bought wooden letters to spell her name and painted them to put  up over her crib. He's an excited future Daddy and we have (another) spoiled little girl in our future. They are as ready as they can possibly be.

Biggest is already thinking about good schools and what toys and tv shows are appropriate and savings accounts. She originally thought about starting an account for college but then decided to start one for the Great-She's Finally Big Enough to Enjoy It- trip to Disney World when the baby's old enough-after all she was conceived there- Then they will start a college savings.
She is busily going through her nesting stage, which is really something because she's already OCD about everything being in it's place. She's re-folded baby clothes a thousand times and everything looks perfect. She is going to be a terrific Mom because she already has an active Worry Button that came pre-installed and if the child so much as bats an eye she'll be standing over her watching like a hawk to figure out why and what she should do about it. She's going to be Fine. She's going to be a Fine Mama. And she's Finally going to drive me completely crazy ; )

So My Sunshine, I am very proud of you and excited too! And there will be plenty more posts in the future about you as a Mama. You are going to be Amazing : ) You know the music we played for you when you were little to help you sleep. You have your own copy now. Just Remember...

Except For The Part About Me
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As for me, I'm going in for some restoration. I'll be heading to the highlands to sit on my rock and listen to the creek and see some colors besides green. Even though it's my favorite color, the eye and the soul need a change from time to time and it's been several years since I've been able to go in the fall. Plus I'll get to wear my sweaters and boots! I need it desperately right now. Even more so because I have a series of work projects as soon as I get back.
I told Biggest to quit trying to have that baby early and cross her legs, because if she goes into labor while I'm gone I'll never speak to her again.  The new definition of Never being, as soon as I can rush back and get ahold of my granddaughter. But hopefully the little Bug will keep cooking a little longer and come when she's supposed to, just in time for Thanksgiving. And I will be thankful indeed!



© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

We Interrupt Our Previously Scheduled Post

Because I completely screwed up my back a week ago yesterday and have been laying around on heat/ice packs and getting adjusted and getting deep tissue massages and electrical stimulation and traction and I'm still screwed up but some stuff's been happening and I wanted to share. If you have little ones they might enjoy this.

First of all. Biggest has been changing shape all over the place and she walked in last week looking a little deformed. I felt a little freaked out and wasn't sure what to say but then she pulled these out of her bra.

Baby Squirrels. A lady brought them to her because their nest fell out of the tree. She tried to put it back up but after 24 hours their Mama was a no show so now Biggest is their Mama. She carries them around in her bra to keep them warm.
At least she's getting some extra practice on feeding something every two hours : )

 

 

 

 

Usually Littlest is not the one I have this problem with BUT, even though I distinctly remember uttering the words, "NO-put it out deep in the woods and it will be fine", I walked out on the porch and found an old Hamster cage with this on top.



 

Hi My name is Herbert. My front legs aren't working too well right now. But I'm just a baby.

 I am not vermin. Please don't hurt me. If I'm feeling better tomorrow I'll leave.

 

This Is NOT a baby Squirrel

 

It IS a Baby Wood RAT!

 

It had a sprained ankle apparently.

 It is Not Staying

anymore after today. Four days is plenty of time and he's getting around just fine.

 

 

 

Last of all, this is the great Birthday week marathon and I wish a Happy Birthday to Decent Guy, my brother; Anonymous Brother N, My sister; The Mighty Ms. K, my Dad in Heaven and most of all,

 

My Middlest is turning 20.

 

 

 

 

 

 My Dreamer.

My Child of Faith and Creativity

My Free Spirit

 

My Moonlight.

 

You don't need a Full Moon to Glow.

The Light Is Always Around You.

 

I am very proud of you sweetheart.

No matter how winding your journey and wherever it finally ends, I'm with you all the way.

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

 

Love You : )

 

 

 

As for the meaningful posts I originally took time off over a month ago to dream up? Yeah. Still not happening, so anyway....

Now, I have to rest because I'm supposed to work next week but before I head back to my heating pad I'm going to attempt to sit here a little longer and visit a few blogs. But I admit I've finally given in and taken some drugs so if I visit you God knows what I will say to you ; )



© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

Feeling a Little Over Done Today

So I'm floating on some music. If you're not familiar with Radical Face or Ben Cooper you should be. I think it's exceptional, but I happen to know he's from a pretty exceptional home town.
 Perhaps that's why this is exactly suiting my mood.

Watch till the Very End : )

If you've heard anything it was most likely this one.

http://www.radicalface.com/
Quiet Time



© 2012 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

Can You Hear It?

We're off on a business trip on Wednesday morning.
Our 26th wedding anniversary is also this week and by happy chance, we are working somewhere with a nice view, so we will be taking an extra day just for us! I'll be back over the weekend. In the meantime you may enjoy this song and video Biggest and DecentGuy introduced me too. It spoke to them. I found it spoke to me too. It spoke to all my worries. It spoke to all that I love.
 I dedicate it to The Seamonkey and Our Family. Maybe you will find it speaks to you as well.







 See Ya Soon : )

Let's Send It Out....

With Grace in our Hearts and one of my Top 5......

Cat Got My Tongue...Or Brain..or Something...

Busy.Scattered.Tired.Weary.

Haven't had much time to write or read and can't focus when I try.

One of those weeks when my brain wanders and I have to wander on a business trip next week.

So let's just call this a

Wordless Week.

Without pictures.

Dim down.

Flow.

Ah. That's nice.

Now I have to feed the dogs and cook dinner and starting getting quarterlies together and begin to prepare for traveling and iron some linen and teach Mid to drive and take Lit to Jujitsu....

Shoot.

 REPLAY.

Oh My Heart. Indeed

 First off I am thankful to have caught Mari at The Music Mamas post about R.E.M.'s new release
Collapse Into Now. Because otherwise, I have so much going on, I might have missed it and been missing out. 

Oh, my heart is doing it's thing. I know this group does not appeal to everyone. My husband might describe their sound as metal screeching in a 10 car pile up but from the first time I heard them, Long Long Ago, somewhere around 27 years, they have hit something deep within in me I can't explain. No other music has ever given me quite the same feeling that this group consistently does. They get me every time. And even if my heart Does soar to the sound of screeching metal in a ten car pile up I know that I'm not the only one. If you feel the same join me in my first favorite of the latest pile up. This song is about New Orleans after Katrina and is heartbreaking in that context. But it also spoke directly to 'that place' in my heart and found a response there.




http://www.youtube.com/user/remhq?blend=1&ob=4

Since I Suck This Week

Spend some time on something that is Worth It.

Seriously.

The current obsession of all 3 of my daughters and myself.

Listen To This.






Or Maybe This One....




And This One...




And then the one I have on my main page below if you don't mind the "language"

And Then Go Buy It.

We did.

You may not have a choice, because the rest of the day ....
what is that song stuck in your head?

Hey Look,  I made little tiny videos!

Chill

Ok.
It was report card time here this week so I pretty much have had a migraine since Tuesday and I don't want to write about the kids. Because that migraine needs to stay away. It was a memorable one. Woke up at 4 A.M. and continued thru Wednesday  in the kind of pain that makes you google aneurysm and brain tumor just to make sure.

Anyway. I'm a little wore out, have unfinished chores piled as high as my dusty chandelier and I have to work away from home over the weekend. One of those out of town but not far enough to warrant staying over jobs so I get to hit the highway and sit till my legs fall asleep and then have to work.

On the bright side, we will have a high of 65 today so I did a happy dance in my Real Shoes and now I'm literally and figuratively chilling out for a little while. I'm taking my weekend today. Which means I'm taking a nap.

If you haven't been by yet and feel like reading a serious post I have one below or you can kick your real shoes off, grab your cup of tea and listen along with me to one of my personal top 10. My all time favorite Eagles song. And then maybe take a nap.

I'll take it to the limit tomorrow.

I decided to include 2 versions just as an example that real talent and skill never fades. It just gains some weight and gets a haircut.








Eagles-Take It to the Limit-Houston 1976
  Explore more music videos.

What's your favorite Eagles song? You know you have one.

Happy Birthday To My Super Star!

Star light star bright first star I see tonight....I wish

 I prayed...for a 3rd girl.
and there you were and I heard the gasp of your first breath and then.....

My Littlest is not so little any more. A literal hairs breadth below me. I have a feeling we will always see eye to eye. Familiar with the darkness you persist in sparkling and drawing the eye. Your words on paper like those tiny beacons that strike us with wonder. Sometimes a soul that seems to have been birthed with those same stars above us. The wink in your light can make us smile and dissolve us in laughter. You are steadfast in your glow. You are wisdom shining in your constellation. Growing brighter with each year I have no doubt someday you will reach down to pat Sirius between the ears and we will be blinded by your Light ........ hopefully not struck deaf with shock by your mouth.

This week it will be 15 years. Fifteen years since the obstetricians clumsiness nearly choked your voice forever. Drowning with your first breath.  God reached out and pushed you back because I have no doubt that voice is meant to be heard. That this little light was meant to shine.

So My Brilliant Starlight. I Wish For All of Your Dreams To Come True.

I would rather listen to You sing this in the kitchen...or on the back porch swing,  but well....
I know you think these guys did a pretty good job ; )

Panic at the Disco - New Music - More Music Videos

...taisetsu yo-chan ; ) which is probably all screwed up but I will make you rice too. cause I LUVS U!

© 2010 All Rights Reserved

Generational Angst Gap?

The first time I heard this I thought it was lovely. I asked the girls who it was and they told me they loved the song, it was one of their favorites. As I listened a little bell kept going off in the back of my mind. Beautiful...familiar...familiar...and then it hit me.

It has occurred to me that the current generation of teens seems to feel more angst ridden than mine did. There seem to be more of them that might want to hide away in their room and watch the world go by and ponder deep thoughts. Peering through the window at that mad, sad world.

All Alone





Gary Jules and Michael Andrews on Youtube  From the movie Donnie Darko.

Gary Jules


When the reason it was familiar hit me I came to a realization. The difference between their generation and mine is that when we were feeling angsty we might peer and ponder.

But then we would get up and go outside.

And Dance


Tears for Fears - Mad world
Tears for Fears

Weirdly

After all, our outfits were so awesome how could we stay sad long? We needed to get out anyway to pick up some mousse.

If you have the time and inclination give them both a listen. Anyone remember the 80's version?
Which do you prefer? Guess which one actually gets stuck in my head?

This video contains content owned by Universal Music Group that they have removed from everywhere but here  dailymotion.com so far, including where it used to be on youtube so I can't have my matching borders. But I am hoping they won't be Meanies and make me remove it because I'm somebodies mother.  I'm just an old lady. And I am directing everyone to them here- http://www.youtube.com/universalmusicgroup because they are so awesome and stuff and I am getting No Gain from my blog other than Personal Joy that will be destroyed if they removed it and I will have to stare out the window sadly because they don't understand me and I can't go outside to dance because it's way too hot and my knees hurt.

Addition to original post:
This must be a family thing because my brother called me after he read this and said the song haunts him too. Only I didn't include his favorite version which is Adam Lambert's and which you can listen to here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQ50AuKQOyk&feature=related
True, Adam Lambert does have a lovely voice.


 And then because he is a SAHD, which is really not Sad at all but extraordinarily cool in my book, went on to taunt me because he is a booger  a brother and tomorrow school starts and I have to get up at 5 a.m. to get my kids to school but my nephew doesn't have to be at his school till nine and my oldest will be out by 1:30. He wished me a Happy Tomorrow and said he is looking forward to His nap. *Sigh* Boogers I mean Brothers.....

Happy Birthday To My Moon Light

Because my Moon-Shine doesn't sound quite right.
17
How did this happen?
For my child that I dreamed before I planned any children.
My little one who said she wished for the Moon to come down and sleep in her bed.
Who would color a rainbow in the sky.

For the young woman whose beauty astounds me but has no concern for it herself. Who will walk out the door looking incredible and put together one day and walk out the next wearing old shorts, a paint spattered t shirt a pony tail and her glasses with no make-up.  Who sees and represents the world with pen and paint. Whose art is splashed across every surface of the house. Carelessly. Set  down as she walks away. The paintings and sketches... the brushes, the paint, the pencils, the paper, the erasers...
the sharpener filings...the paint  drips.....; )

Who rides her bike through the streets happily singing at the top of her lungs...out of tune...and she knows it....and it makes her smile. Who thinks the 30's and 40's were supposed to be her era and rocks the Big Band Sound.  Who loves all music really. The noisy screeching music, the campy off beat stuff  and also the same music her grandfather favored and even the stuff her mother likes. The one who once purposely broke her metronome. Said it was driving her crazy. Perhaps it was interfering with her internal beat. The one we can't hear. The one she is singing and dancing, walking, riding and living to.
The beat she follows...the beat of her own heart.

For my fellow reader. The one who will talk about books with me. To the one who also loves to sit and discuss the possibilities. Philosophize. Theorize. Put the pieces of the puzzle together. Who can envision those parallel universes. Who can find the links in the legends and lore. Who, along with me can look at the history and the science and find God.

The Wallflowers weren't here again this year to take you to see as your gift so I had to make do.
But I know this one is your favorite.
Happy Birthday Middlest!
I ♥ U



Video Made By
wallflowers.com

I'm Gonna Wash July Right Out Of My Hair !

I hear rainwater is good for that.





And look forward.

Where I Got This

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

This Makes Me Smile

I don't know if others in my tiny microcosm of blogging are familiar with this but I just love it.
Biggest shared it with me because she loves Kimya Dawson whose music you may be familiar with if you've seen the movie Juno.







kimyadawson.com

A Little Weary.....

Let's just sit quietly, shall we..........








Wish You Were Here: Pink Floyd













© 2010 All Rights Reserved

Our Cup Ovary Floweth

Duck,  It's a Mood Swing!

Living in a house full of females can be trying. The hormones have been flowing like a river here the past few weeks. We could probably bottle and sell our own brand of estrogen....but then again it would probably be recalled by the FDA.

When Biggest lived at home the PMS around here was staggering. I've discussed before that she actually has PM DD. Now she has her own home but makes sure I don't miss any of it by phone. You never know if she is going to be sick of her job, her pets,  her house or her husband. The best way to deal with it is to plan trips. If she thinks she is going somewhere it keeps her distracted and she may not start throwing things.
We seem to have PMS. DMS(during) and AMS(after) lately. Every one seems to be stressed out in general already.

The other two have been been up and down like a see saw with the boy thing which is about to drive me out of my mind. They have been swinging back and forth from euphoria to murderous all on the basis of detailed analysis of the last cryptic facebook chat, innocuous texts and whether or not he just waved hi or came up to talk in school, or God forbid, didn't acknowledge them at all.  I keep getting completely caught up in these "what does he mean by that" sessions and at some point I think, wait a minute, I am getting way to involved in this. I should be counseling you about the sucky grades, not whether he just thinks you're a friend (then why is he flirting with you) or why he was talking to that other girl in the hall. There are only a few weeks of school left and we need to concentrate on that. But still one moment they are dancing around the house like it's their birthday the next they are stomping, slamming things around and refusing to look up and acknowledge anyone.
Some of this even resulted in Middlest having a fit, shoving a desk and locking herself in the bathroom of her science class. It takes a great deal to make Middlest snap. She is adept at letting things flow over her without getting to her. Not lately though. She was crying and a girl in class was picking at her about it. My girls burst in to tears in stressful situations. It is a mechanism. By that evening her opinion was "well, I bet they never mess with me again." I don't know how many times over the years I've had phone calls from teachers concerned that there was a problem at home. The kids actually find this amusing. They will come home and say, Oh yeah, lost it in English today, my teacher wanted to know if I'm having emotional problems, just in case you get a call." Then they laugh. Ha.Ha. In this case though the poor science teacher seemed to think it was something he did. He called and asked if she didn't like his class and would she rather move to another. That was a first. This teacher is pretty cool though. He suggests that all the parents should home school their kids because the system doesn't allow for individuality. This is true but strange from a public school employee. I have done it once and I have to say I just don't have it in me to do it again.

The most enthralling time is when they will be sitting talking together or singing together which I love and then in a split second they will be calling each other names and slapping each other. Choruses of "she's a Freak", "she's a Psycho" ringing throughout the house. Now I have noticed that this fight often seems to start the moment I say it is time to do a chore. Dishes for instance. They will be fine but then it begins and they are able to procrastinate the chore by having an all out brawl. Then one always stomps out and says I'm not doing this with her. And the other says, I'm not doing it unless she helps. I'm just like ? you are both doing it and you know it so why are you wasting time.

Having his "Good Morning" and "How was your day?" met with mumbles and glares The Surfer has fled to the bedroom to hide.  He sticks his head out  gingerly sometimes to see what the response is. Then he snaps his head back in like a turtle and hides some more. He is outnumbered the poor thing. Then at the end of the day he looks forward to having a little quiet time. He watches tv, I usually read.
And then, the Hot Flashes start.
I've been a little swingy myself.
If they snap at me they are likely to get snapped back. I'm perfectly capable at the moment of giggling with them one moment about the boys, lecturing them the next about focusing in school and not worrying about boys and bursting into tears the next because they won't.

I'm only running on one ovary and I think it's starting to kick it.
I have mentioned before that I had all of my kids in my twenties. In the 80's and  90's when I had my kids this was becoming more unusual. Even considered trapping yourself. The experts and articles expounded the importance of career and fulfilling yourself before committing to family. I was nearly always the youngest mom at play group and school. It could be hard socially going to play dates with Pediatricians and Teachers and to have mostly only been a "mom" so far. Despite my pity party awhile back about spending my twenties caring for others it's a good thing I did.

I do believe that there is One who knows best. In my profiles I explain that we weren't planning children when we got married. Biggest came anyway. So did Littlest. Both during times when it was really a struggle to take on a child. Middlest was the only one we planned. And that wasn't exactly a plan. It was more like my husband went out for a couple of beers with his friend whose wife was expecting and came home all emotional about babies and lets stop using protection because we should have another.
And he got one. That night.
If I had waited. If I had been able to make a decision about my future. If I had an overwhelming dream and passion to fulfill while I was young. We would be childless.
At 24 they caught a very early stage cervical carcinoma. Part of my cervix was removed and they said I might have trouble carrying more children. Then scar tissue grew over it and they thought I might have trouble conceiving. Nope. The scar tissue actually helped with the carrying. And then, I had to have a hysterectomy at 31 due to Endometrioma of the uterus and ovaries. They were able to keep one ovary that I just have to go in every few years and get the cysts popped off of and that way I didn't need hormone replacement.

There is no doubt in my mind they were all three meant to be here and have a purpose. They are meant for something. That is was my job to get them here.
I don't know what I would do without my girls. I am so Thankful they are here and part of my life. At the same time I have to admit that I'm relieved I'm almost finished. Living in the crazy house I believe my husband is to.  At this point I am almost done with ovaries. Every Ones.  I am about half way through life and maybe past that to insanity. Only time will tell. So I can look up and catch a glimpse into the future and my next destination. In the meantime. One of my top 5 faves.

What Is Going On In My Head?
Monday Music

© 2010 All Rights Reserved

Time

I Am Thinking About Time Today

Time flows on. no matter how still we keep. Or grasp with nails embedded till torn or flail against the current. Desperate push and shove, it flows beneath, above, around us. Ceaseless it has no matter but is an  unstoppable force. And though we wish to stop, it will not. And we will ride without our will
 and when it frees us ask.
 What have we done with it?

This is what I am listening to today.

If you want to join me, go to this link and listen to The Mirror and Goals. (and more if you like)

                              John Frusciante Music Player


Pardon me for being "emo mom" today but if you have been reading you are accustomed to
my multiple personalities   the multiple facets of my personality. And I just spent 15 minutes desperately searching for a well worn tennis ball that was "right there" last night, so I could drop it in a hole, with a 12 year old dog.

I have been thinking about time a lot anyway over the past month but this just brought it home even further. He was the quintessential "Good Dog".  And for our family he was even more.  One of that last pieces we have left  from an un-scarred time in our lives. When our family was in a period of ease and simplicity. We  had  suffered very little loss in that time. We were whole and safe in our cocoon of family stability. Our blessings were multitude and we had joy in them. Pieces fall away as we move forward through time and though we pick up and add new ones as we go, it is hard not to glance back and say, wait...no...I don't want to lose that time, give me something to hold on to.  But it moves so fast, sometimes you only catch it in the mirror. And sometimes it slows enough, you can see it all before you. It shows in everything, it molds and forms us, teaches, gives us room to grow, but does it ever complete us? Or merely set us free. Today our families collective tears are part of that current of time. For our shared friend and part of our shared lives, which we always find mirrored in our memories of each other.




© 2010 All Rights Reserved