Ok. So we just had the Most Epic full moon in history, What can ya do? Keep living of course.
In the course of one week my life changed considerably.
Last time around Biggest was worried about not feeling the baby move enough.
Yesterday I got a text:
Biggest: Oh, I had a kickboxing tournament from 6PM to 3AM that could've earned a domestic abuse charge, so we feel better. My arm was resting on my stomach texting and the first time she hit it jarred my arm so hard I almost lost my phone..
She and DecentGuy are getting excited. Only two months to go till November!
Middlest and my future son in law-Murphy'sLaw- are having a shot gun wedding in Georgia this November and I will be getting a Second Grandchild in May. He has a whole lot of proving to do before I change his name. I'm not worried about my future Grandchild reading this and wondering about the name because all it takes is an internet search to find the 6 mug shots.
But I offer hope. When Biggest met DecentGuy in High School his name was Shithead so we will just keep praying. Trying not to cry anymore with marginal success.
Littlest is still here. Government fiscal year-- is October 1st-if we still have a government- and the Marine Corps job openings will be posted and she will likely know her ship date for sure.
I'm betting on November though it could be sooner. She's in the process of packing up everything in her room and I can't bear to look.
In other news, The SeaMonkey turned 50! He obviously got more than he expected for his birthday this year and he's already suffering from a bad case of Empty Nest Syndrome but luckily there have been some waves.
I have been reading a long list of horror stories and it occurred to me that I'm trying to find something that scares me more than my real life.....Still reading...
anyway....
This insanity is obviously going to last awhile so..
Belated Moon Music.
Forgive if I haven't caught up on your blogs yet. I appreciate the support more than I can say but I'm just a little burnt out right now....
I have imagined this time for years. I can't believe that last week the day finally arrived when my youngest daughter turned 18 and became a legal adult. It's been a long road. I have devoted my life to getting them safely to adulthood and now...
Now I'm Free!!!!!!!!!!!! ...Right?
Mmmhmmm.....free as a branch pinned under a rock below the surface of a river. Free as a bird tethered to a cage under a blanket in the corner of a basement. Free as....well anyway....
We were traveling for work the other day when Biggest called.
She said:
"I haven't felt the baby move since yesterday morning." It was over 24 hours. I told her to call the doctor and they told her to go to the emergency room. She was at work and STILL Doesn't Drive so she was calling Decent Guy to come get her but his phone was dead and eventually she had to call his workplace but he was out in the field, and so on, until this eventually lasted over 2 hours in which The SeaMonkey and I were telling her to be calm, it was probably nothing and not to panic, and then getting off the phone and going into a terrified panic...and crying. Both Of Us. Then DecentGuy showed up and they went to their house where she took a shower and laid down for a minute and then the baby started kicking. I told her to call the doctor back and get their opinion since it had been such a long period of time. They told her to do a kick count laying still on her side for 2 hours-looking for at least ten kicks and the little booger did and Everything Was Fine. Except my blood pressure.
***I also somehow seem to have become involved in a Best Grandma Bidding War on the Target Baby Registry. But that's ok, cause KaBoom! I bought the crib and bedding + room decorating kit set+.... But in all honesty, the other Grandma cleaned everything else out and she is a Most Awesome Fairy Grandmother for helping to make ALL of My baby girls' wishes come true : )
Miss Middlest has been doing great at her job and is progressing to the next level there on her way to a promotion. Our ultimate goal has always been to get her out on her own eventually but we have told her she's welcome to live with us forever if she wants to, as long as she's doing her part around here, making wise decisions and moving forward. She was not making wise decisions and doing her part. So we had a little chat. And then-for the 3rd time since she turned 18- she announced she was leaving and getting an apartment with a friend ( An ex soldier with PTSD she met sleeping on the beach because his girlfriend kicked him out, that she had known one week) She's did this without any plan in place, hardly any savings and no credit history and a part time low paying job, and she just up and left. She ended up at her pastors house-with the homeless dude-and they took them in. I don't know what the hell they're thinking but not my problem, though they appear to be using them as slave labor...anyway...it's been two weeks and they still don't have an apartment but she is willingly and enthusiastically doing everything at the pastors house that we asked her to do here. I do hope for the best for this guy and that he gets help and I'm thankful for his service but she let him use her bike and he apparently got hit by a car. He's ok but her bikes screwed up but I guess that's alright because he's alive even though it's her Only Transportation to work because she Still Can't Drive.
I kind of want to, as my 5th grade teacher used to say, knock her in the head with a wet noodle but somehow I don't think it will knock whatever's loose in there back into place. And she's an adult. She says she needs to do it this way because it's too easy to slack at home.
I'm sure it will work out fine. Except for that pulsing noise I keep hearing in my ears.
And Littlest? Littlest is still here waiting for her boot camp ship date, though her friends have all started college. She's chomping at the bit to get out of here because she's ready to be free too, but in the meantime she amuses herself by coming to the store with me every week in order to double my grocery bill with her extremely expensive super healthy eating habits. She won't be here long enough to get a job but she does Physical Training with the other Poolees from the recruiting office and goes to her Jiu Jitsu classes. She has to pass a bad area to get there and she's pleased that now that's she's an adult she can ride her bike wherever and whenever she wants and can be there after dark, without us telling her get home...Because She Still Can't Drive.
But I know she can take care of herself. She's joining the marines for Petes sake. I'm sure she'll be safe and everything will be fine. Except for my migraine.
But That's OK. BECAUSE I LOVE THEM. More Than Anything.
And I know I won't ever really be "Done." I am a mother first and foremost in my life.
And I don't ever want to be free of them-completely.
And I think I did I fairly decent job of getting them raised.
Except for the driving.....
and my possible aneurism.
; )
I had originally planned to be "Done" with this blog at this point.
Part of my tagline in the beginning was:
Raising teen girls in todays society...haven't figured it out yet.
Later it was: Raising Teen Girls...halfway through...still haven't figured it out.
Well, I'm done raising teenage girls...and I never did figure it out ; )
But since we have a baby and boot camp to look forward to I will continue on for a bit. After that I will switch to my other blog, Service Unavailable Error 503. A few of you are already there and Ms. A visits regular : ) I would dearly love it if my little group of real followers followed me there. It's been a hodgepodge of extras so far but there will be much more in the future. Right now there's -what else-a music video on it. Nothing special. But I promise that's not all that's on there or will on there.
Thank you to everyone who has stuck around so far..we still have a little ways to go : )
P.S. I Know my Header is screwed up. Tried to make a minor change. It's gone. too tired to try to figure it out anymore!
Wow. I almost thought I didn't really have any full moon incidents and as I was staring at my computer last night dumbfounded....
Biggest Called.
She said: You promise you won't yell.
I yelled. WHAT?
And then she told me a story.
Middlest who had just returned home and went straight to the shower had been standing outside a convenience store talking to an acquaintance. A young man she has know for a few years and who has mental issues and has been in trouble many times. She has been told, begged with, and ordered to avoid this person. His behaviour toward her has bordered on stalking from time to time but then seems to level off and she will (stupidly) speak to him because he is acting normal. Which he was doing last night until he suddenly grabbed her wrists and shoved her up against the wall of the building and pinned her there, made some profane comments and refused to let go until after she had struggled with him for several minutes and got her hand free long enough to strike at him and then ran and took off on her bike.
Following family tradition, with the police department right around the corner and a row of businesses to go in for help and a cell phone in her hand, she called:
Her Sister.
Who then called me because Mid was afraid to tell us because she thought we would be angry at her for talking to the boy to begin with. Which is of course insane. Please reiterate to your children. Always tell! And call 911 for Pete's sake. We taught her that as soon as she was old enough to dial a phone.
It brought up the question again of why Mid is our only child not to learn a martial art but she did attend a self defense class at our local police department a few years ago. She was so shocked and surprised by an unexpected attack from someone she knew, and was having a normal conversation with, that it all flew out the window. But, this guy has been known to do this kind of thing before. Where she made her mistake was assuming it would be ok because he had not acted that way with her. Yet.
So anyway, by that time Biggest was in action. Bat Girl went into full duty. When she told me they were driving around and she had her bat in the back of the truck I told her to get her Bat Behind to my house and knock it off. We were calling the police. Bat girl hasn't interacted with the local PD in a long time and I think she was a little let down when we told her to leave the room while Mid made her report instead of leading the investigation herself. But we made the report and I don't know if anything will come of it this time around but at least we have a start if we have another issue.
Middlest was scared to death. I've never seen her that shook up. I was very concerned about her being afraid we would be angry with Her because she was talking to the guy to begin with. Was it a bad decision? Yes. Does that matter? NO. My usual best parenting advice on this one. Talk. Talk. Talk. and then pray. That's about all you can do. Hopefully some of it will stick. Eventually.
Littlest's offer to take him apart because she is still underage and can get away with it wihtout getting in as much trouble was Declined.
But the thought was deeply appreciated.
The Legendary Bat Girl, Biggest turns 24 tomorrow which is always a week long celebration and this weekend we will celebrate the once very young and new daddy who came home from the hospital the night she was born to find our cat had kittens in the closet and fell asleep on the floor with his head among the shoes and gentle purrs of that mama and her babies because he could not be with us. Almost half a century ago. Biggest says next year she stops counting birthdays. I somehow don't think that will include not counting presents....; )
Other than that. Summer time is here. If you don't know how I feel about that yet, you soon will.
It has been an average of 96 to 100 degrees here the last couple weeks. I haven't Actually shriveled up and died yet but there is still time. It's a little early for these temperatures, even in my warm climate, so I am paying my dues for having a nice chilly winter to enjoy.
So we are having a hot, hazy, lazy summer. No plans. No details. Some funky moon to start us off last night. We will take this summer as it comes. Too hot to move. Too hot to even talk much. We escape as much as possible. We sleep late. We read. We listen to the crickets and cicadas harmonizing in the trees. Swinging on the porch swing. Daydreaming in the grass beneath the trees. Hide in the bushes with our baseball bats in case crazy people show up..Watching the sky change colors in slow motion. Rising...Purple..Pink...Golden...Blue...Gray...Green with the rage of rain in the afternoons of those lucky days... to Pink ..... Yellow.... Orange....Periwinkle....lasting forever before turning down to a milky black that never quite hits it's mark with only the stars and that Big Old Moon to swing and dream on.
We wait until dark to come alive on those endless days when there is No Rain.
This has been a rotten week. One of those weeks where if the world at large mess isn't enough there is always everyday life. The little things. One of those weeks when the kids are contrary and strangers are rude. When nothing ever seems to get finished. When appliances and technology malfunction. When you find a hole in your yellow scrubbing gloves. After you stick your hand in the water full of lysol cleaner. Where perfectly trained dogs randomly deside to eat walls and poo on the floor and the cats fight with each other. The kind of week where you wake up and are glad it's a whole new day. Until about noon when you are ready to say, 'next please.'
We are having severe thunder storms and tons of rain which actually makes me happy becauseI love that kind of weather and I refuse to leave my house today unless it catches on fire. Except of course Biggest and DecentGuy are taking Littlest on a trip and they will be out on the roads in it all day. So, with clear visions of overturned vehicles and smash-ups caused by the weather courtesy of the evening news dancing in my head, I will be worried about them. All Day.
I thought about writing a post called 'I am Grumpy. Hear me grumble but instead I decided to take a little trip. In my head. Coming?
What will I bring?
Some music. I always have a favorite song of the moment but This Song is the Song Of My Life. I have never put it on my blog because I was waiting for a special occasion but it occurs to me that I don't wait for an occasion to listen to it. It is there for me always. Especially on weeks like this it has soothed my soul. This song is my friend. In keeping with this week it has been a real PITA getting some version on here. This one has nothing to watch which is good.
Ah, something to read maybe!
One or maybe all of these books by Joyce Carol Oates. The links lead to summaries that I don't think really do them justice. I couldn't find a review that seemed to really hit it exactly right. They are wonderfully twisted and so easy to get lost in. They have my #1 criteria for a favorite book. A damn good story.
This trip will be outdoors so we need a picnic. What will I bring?
Bologna and Frito sandwiches. Only I will pronounce it baloney and eat it without mustard or mayonaise because I don't like mustard or mayonaise. Part of a Mental Journey is escaping adult cares so I will eat like a child. How does it sound? Disgusting? They are delicious. And always taste best when you have that particular 'been outdoors all day' kind of hunger.
This isn't about the pictures themselves. My skills are nil and I didn't take all of these. Anyone in my family could have taken any of them. We don't keep track. It's about remembering and experiencing.
Where am I going in my head? Easy. Here.
Ready? You can smell the green as you walk in.
As we travel we will be on the look out for these.
And these. We must be cautious.
But if we are aware of our surroundings we will be safe.
And then we will find it.
Maybe we can follow this woman and girl
whom I have,um, never seen before in my life...
up this trail.
And find this.
And this.
Can you hear the water rushing?
The sound fills up everything bouncing off the rock walls.
It's amazingly cool even on the hottest days. You can smell moist life all around you.
It is the smell of the riches of the earth.
After awhile I will end up here.
That rock is as cool as if it had been taken out of the fridge.
I will sit here and listen to the river flowing past.
I will listen to the birds and watch the butterflies.
Tiny blue ones and giant yellow ones swooping on the draft.
I will look up at a canopy of fresh greenery.
I will feel the carpet of moss beneath my feet.
I will hold wet stones in my hand and know the earth.
I will turn them back in forth in the sneaking sunbeams
watch the mica flash like jewels.
I will lower my fingers and let the water run through them
until they begin to grow numb with cold.
Then I will sit silently with my eyes closed and breath.
The breath of life
And hear the song of the earth around me
The tune of creation
Well, I am feeling better. I even forgot about the books. I'll save those for bedtime : )
Where would you go on your Merely Mental Journey? What would you take with you?
