Monday, September 9, 2013
I'm Done Now...Right?
Yeah. Right.
I have imagined this time for years. I can't believe that last week the day finally arrived when my youngest daughter turned 18 and became a legal adult. It's been a long road. I have devoted my life to getting them safely to adulthood and now...
Now I'm Free!!!!!!!!!!!! ...Right?
Mmmhmmm.....free as a branch pinned under a rock below the surface of a river. Free as a bird tethered to a cage under a blanket in the corner of a basement. Free as....well anyway....
We were traveling for work the other day when Biggest called.
She said:
"I haven't felt the baby move since yesterday morning." It was over 24 hours. I told her to call the doctor and they told her to go to the emergency room. She was at work and STILL Doesn't Drive so she was calling Decent Guy to come get her but his phone was dead and eventually she had to call his workplace but he was out in the field, and so on, until this eventually lasted over 2 hours in which The SeaMonkey and I were telling her to be calm, it was probably nothing and not to panic, and then getting off the phone and going into a terrified panic...and crying. Both Of Us. Then DecentGuy showed up and they went to their house where she took a shower and laid down for a minute and then the baby started kicking. I told her to call the doctor back and get their opinion since it had been such a long period of time. They told her to do a kick count laying still on her side for 2 hours-looking for at least ten kicks and the little booger did and Everything Was Fine. Except my blood pressure.
***I also somehow seem to have become involved in a Best Grandma Bidding War on the Target Baby Registry. But that's ok, cause KaBoom! I bought the crib and bedding + room decorating kit set+.... But in all honesty, the other Grandma cleaned everything else out and she is a Most Awesome Fairy Grandmother for helping to make ALL of My baby girls' wishes come true : )
Miss Middlest has been doing great at her job and is progressing to the next level there on her way to a promotion. Our ultimate goal has always been to get her out on her own eventually but we have told her she's welcome to live with us forever if she wants to, as long as she's doing her part around here, making wise decisions and moving forward. She was not making wise decisions and doing her part. So we had a little chat. And then-for the 3rd time since she turned 18- she announced she was leaving and getting an apartment with a friend ( An ex soldier with PTSD she met sleeping on the beach because his girlfriend kicked him out, that she had known one week) She's did this without any plan in place, hardly any savings and no credit history and a part time low paying job, and she just up and left. She ended up at her pastors house-with the homeless dude-and they took them in. I don't know what the hell they're thinking but not my problem, though they appear to be using them as slave labor...anyway...it's been two weeks and they still don't have an apartment but she is willingly and enthusiastically doing everything at the pastors house that we asked her to do here. I do hope for the best for this guy and that he gets help and I'm thankful for his service but she let him use her bike and he apparently got hit by a car. He's ok but her bikes screwed up but I guess that's alright because he's alive even though it's her Only Transportation to work because she Still Can't Drive.
I kind of want to, as my 5th grade teacher used to say, knock her in the head with a wet noodle but somehow I don't think it will knock whatever's loose in there back into place. And she's an adult. She says she needs to do it this way because it's too easy to slack at home.
I'm sure it will work out fine. Except for that pulsing noise I keep hearing in my ears.
And Littlest? Littlest is still here waiting for her boot camp ship date, though her friends have all started college. She's chomping at the bit to get out of here because she's ready to be free too, but in the meantime she amuses herself by coming to the store with me every week in order to double my grocery bill with her extremely expensive super healthy eating habits. She won't be here long enough to get a job but she does Physical Training with the other Poolees from the recruiting office and goes to her Jiu Jitsu classes. She has to pass a bad area to get there and she's pleased that now that's she's an adult she can ride her bike wherever and whenever she wants and can be there after dark, without us telling her get home...Because She Still Can't Drive.
But I know she can take care of herself. She's joining the marines for Petes sake. I'm sure she'll be safe and everything will be fine. Except for my migraine.
But That's OK. BECAUSE I LOVE THEM. More Than Anything.
And I know I won't ever really be "Done." I am a mother first and foremost in my life.
And I don't ever want to be free of them-completely.
And I think I did I fairly decent job of getting them raised.
Except for the driving.....
and my possible aneurism.
; )
I had originally planned to be "Done" with this blog at this point.
Part of my tagline in the beginning was:
Raising teen girls in todays society...haven't figured it out yet.
Later it was: Raising Teen Girls...halfway through...still haven't figured it out.
Well, I'm done raising teenage girls...and I never did figure it out ; )
But since we have a baby and boot camp to look forward to I will continue on for a bit. After that I will switch to my other blog, Service Unavailable Error 503. A few of you are already there and Ms. A visits regular : ) I would dearly love it if my little group of real followers followed me there. It's been a hodgepodge of extras so far but there will be much more in the future. Right now there's -what else-a music video on it. Nothing special. But I promise that's not all that's on there or will on there.
Thank you to everyone who has stuck around so far..we still have a little ways to go : )
P.S. I Know my Header is screwed up. Tried to make a minor change. It's gone. too tired to try to figure it out anymore!
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So it's the Marines. Wow. I am so impressed. At both of you. You, her: outstanding. And for your new baby acomin' , so many prayers.
ReplyDeleteYes, to following you over. I see you there, it's a natural step in the flow of life, so glad you'll have a place to go to mentally untangle. It's so important to me, to have this space, to just put it down and get it out of my head. I am grateful for it. You are one of my first follows... I look back on all that's happened since then. xo
Thanks Alexandra : )It's been quite a trip!
DeleteWhew, glad the baby is okay!
ReplyDeleteMothering is a lifetime commitment. The way I figure it, the only way I'll ever be done with, is to be dead. Then again, maybe I won't be done with it... since I will probably hang around and haunt them. It would sure serve them right for everything they've put me through! (and are STILL putting me through)
Yep, you can call me faithful. It'll be one of the nicer things I've been called!
Oh I'm planning on haunting everyone! looking forward to it. And yes, you are the most faithful blogger I know. Both on my blog and I notice on other blogs I read : )
DeleteYou're never done. Oh God. Thank God the baby is bouncing. Maybe she was nervous or stressed. Oh middlest.....She's a trooper because I would want to be at home than a honey slave for the pastor. LOL
ReplyDeleteBiggest is always worried or stressed-which translates to Me too!
DeleteMid is perfectly willing to work her butt off for the pastors wife doing the same stuff I have to ride her ass for at home. I don't get it....
Oh good lord. My kids are SO BORING.
ReplyDeleteI'll follow you anywhere. :)
Your kids are Wonderful- and Funny! Mine are trying to kill me.
DeleteThank You: )
Oh my god I love reading your words and realising my life is not the only one of chaos and children who need a wet noodle across the head.
ReplyDeleteQuick summary for nothing else but perhaps to help you realise my life is a snapshot of yours and yet I still love them and put up with their crap.
24 year old broke up with girlfriend last week (the one with the new baby that's not his but they got together early in her pregnancy) I have him on speed dial at the moment and regular check ins because he goes a little of the rails when life is not going to plan. He also doesn't drive and I do way too much for him and he makes my hair go a lighter shade of grey regularly. I think sometimes my 2 year old grandson is more reliable and responsible.
19 year old (does/did drive) but has just lost his license for at least 6 months - 105km in a 60km zone and a finger out the window to the cop who got him on camera. What on earth was he thinking - obviously nothing worthwhile. His girlfriend lives a 30 km drive away. I drive him to work now but refuse to drive him to the girlfriends. She drives but has written two cars off so doesn't drive much any more. They also break up regularly and drama surrounds them.
16 year old has just got his learners permit for both car and motorbike and despite being the calmest and best behaved of all of my boys, he argues like there's no tomorrow when I'm in the passenger seat guiding his driving. He is saving for a motorbike and refuses to listen to reason i.e. my fears of him getting on a motorbike.
22 year old stepson has a motorbike and defies the laws of everything to ride at ridiculous speeds and regularly tells his little brother about it. Despite that he's a damn good kid with a gorgeous girlfriend.
I also have no job at the moment through choice which hubby likes to kindly remind me of. We've all been sick, grandson had whooping cough and was really, really sick (thought that wasn't possible when they've had their shots) - luckily new baby didn't get it though.
See so my life is as normal as yours, my children are also trying to kill me - hope everything is settling down for you now.
Cheers, Fi
Thank you Fiona : ) The military guy is a 29 year old liar and a drunk with multiple convictions for DUI and other driving offenses as well as battery. Middlest is knocked up and they have fled to his home state to get married.
Deletein other news: Littlest got her learners permit!