Thursday, June 14, 2012

A Quarter Century of Parenthood

By chance this year Fathers Day and Biggests Birthday will coincide exactly. What makes it even more special is that it will be her 25th birthday. Making this The SeaMonkey's Silver Father Anniversary : ) He will tell you that the strands of silver weaving through his hair were absolutely put there by being her father for 25 years ; ) Twenty five years since he kissed us goodbye at the hospital and came home to fall asleep with his head in a closet, nestled among newborn kittens. Because while I labored our cat did also. He has been a wonderful father for girls. He's tough when needed but is always there trying to provide everything they need to accomplish their goals. He has supported them and made it clear that girls can do as much as boys and more and that his girls...are stubborn...and opinionated...and frustrating...and...the people he loves most in this world.
So on Sunday, I will wish the SeaMonkey a Happy Fathers Day- 25 Year Dad Anniversary!
We can get some kittens to celebrate if you want to. No? ok, just checking...

And my Biggest is a grown woman.  A Wonderful One. That's the strangest part for me. Because even though she is a quarter century old she will always be my girl. For a long time it was just the two of us. I was still a child (21) when I had her. We were playmates when she was small. Constant companions. And I will still young enough to go down the slide at the park. This child changed my life in every way imaginable.  All for the good. When I was pregnant I was given an AFP test. Very common and useful for finding birth defects like Spina Bifida. It also supposedly could show a chance for Down Syndrome. And that's how my levels came back. Talk about scared? We were sent to a geneticist. They were very pushy about having amniocentesis, which was still relatively new. After over an hour of questions and prodding she admitted that, at my age,  the chances of my child having Down Syndrome were much lower than the chances of the test prompting a miscarriage. Talk about mad?  When further questioned about whether anything could be done to improve the situation if the amnio confirmed Down Syndrome,  the only thing she could offer was that an abortion could be done. Talk about more Mad? I was 22 weeks pregnant. I was already feeling flutters. I remember the moment. I was sitting at work and literally felt...butterflies. And what the hell is wrong with Down Syndrome?  Harder certainly but so what? The doctor was lucky My Mama (Because I wanted My Mama there with me) didn't slap her before we marched out in indignation. And worried a little for the rest of the pregnancy. But only a little. Because I had already changed my lifestyle for this child. Already determined that even though it would be a struggle I would remain home with her. Already determined that the world revolved around this baby. And nothing could change that. When she was born the first thing I asked was, Is she ok? There was No Sign of Down Syndrome. She was perfect. Except for her heartbeat, which was not. And so she spent her first hours in the infant ICU. More fear. But all of this taught me something very quickly. What it meant to be a parent. I was introduced to that powerful love, but also powerful fear very early. Maybe that is what gave me the strength to fight through her teenage years, when it sometimes felt like life was just conspiring to take this child from me. Even before she was born  I could illustrate myself with eyes wild and teeth bared, my arms crossed tight across my body holding her close to my heart and snarling...MINE...Mine. 

I had to learn to share of course and she is very much grown up and her own person..but all the same..my child.

Happy Twenty Fifth Birthday to My Biggest Girl! ....My Sunshine : )
Though you share the revolution with your sisters you are shining brighter than ever : )

Got Kittens?...just checking...


I've used this here on your birthdays before but nothing says it better for me.






© 2012 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

26 comments:

  1. Whew! Intense. And wonderful. My birthday often lands on Father's Day also, but not this year. What a fortuitous occurrence. Happy special days to your people.

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    1. Thanks Allison. That's right! You're coming up too. Happy Birthday Week! or is it month? It's usually month around here ; )

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  2. Happy Birthday to biggest! And yay for 25 years of being a dad to Father Grounded...err...the Sea Monkey. May this weekend be full of wonderful celebrations.

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    1. Thanks Loco- and I'm sure his day will be full of brownies : )..I hope he shares...

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  3. Such memories.

    I have to write mine down, too.

    With our last one, My alphafetaprotein were sky high, indicative of DS.

    Baby came, he was fine...only lethargic, due to low Blood Sugar b/c I was diabetic during the last pregnancy. So he went to NICU, where his little lung collapsed from a teeny tiny pinhole.

    And so began a wild roller coaster ride of 10 days that felt like 300.

    But we came home save and sound when he was 13 days old.

    And now baby is 10.

    And so dang healthy.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your big girl.

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    1. I really think that test is flawed. I've heard of this happening to multiple people. I'm glad everything worked out for you too. Having kids can be so darn scary : )

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  4. Our babies will always be our babies won't they? My sister-in-law was told the same thing with both of her pregnancies - both healthy babies though.

    For the record you're also on my list of 'special blog frineds' so thank you.

    Hope you're sunshine has a sensational birthday and that the Sea Monkey enjoys his day also and then you should have a special day just because

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    1. Yes they will! And Thank You- I think your last sentence is a Wonderful Idea ; )

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  5. I wonder what a frined is ? LOL - That would be friend

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  6. I so love your mama love. It's fierce, protective and forever. Happy Birthday to your sweet girl!

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    1. Thanks Liz : ) Even when she's old and I'm ancient and can't remember her name!

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  7. Happy Father's Day to the Mister. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BIGGEST!!!

    I can't imagine that kind of fear so much later in the pregnancy. I don't blame you for being a mama cub from the get go. The big Doc in the sky is the only one I listen to!

    I had Syd at 22 so I get the how you grew up with her. Sure has been fun.

    Kittens? I REALLY want a kitten, but the hubs says NO! (guess four dogs is enough)

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    1. I have the two big dogs and 5 cats already but I'm having some kind of 'empty kitten nest syndrome'. It's been seven years since we had a kitty baby : )

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  8. Happy Birthday & Fathers day is an order. Wow!!!!!25yrs! I was thinking 21 and going through that? I went through that with my last child and so happy I was mature and in a better place in my life. If that would have happened with my first I would have been really challenged because so much was going on at that time. Thankfully my family was supportive.

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    1. It was crazy Nicole. The test was pretty new and I think they may have been using me as a guinea pig for the geneticists.

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  9. Well she's certainly the "cat's meow". I crack myself up.

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    1. Ha! :D You crack me up too Mrs. Tuna and that is why I like you!

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  10. We had our first child at the same age exactly. Thing is, he's now turning 45 but he's still my baby!

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    1. They always will be! I'm 46 and my parents are gone but sometimes I truly miss being someones baby : )

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  11. Thank You Mommy

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  12. Yours indeed. What a lovely, lovely post. Hugs -Kelly

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    1. Thanks Kelly. She's a lovely, lovely young woman : )

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