A Quarter Century of Parenthood

By chance this year Fathers Day and Biggests Birthday will coincide exactly. What makes it even more special is that it will be her 25th birthday. Making this The SeaMonkey's Silver Father Anniversary : ) He will tell you that the strands of silver weaving through his hair were absolutely put there by being her father for 25 years ; ) Twenty five years since he kissed us goodbye at the hospital and came home to fall asleep with his head in a closet, nestled among newborn kittens. Because while I labored our cat did also. He has been a wonderful father for girls. He's tough when needed but is always there trying to provide everything they need to accomplish their goals. He has supported them and made it clear that girls can do as much as boys and more and that his girls...are stubborn...and opinionated...and frustrating...and...the people he loves most in this world.
So on Sunday, I will wish the SeaMonkey a Happy Fathers Day- 25 Year Dad Anniversary!
We can get some kittens to celebrate if you want to. No? ok, just checking...

And my Biggest is a grown woman.  A Wonderful One. That's the strangest part for me. Because even though she is a quarter century old she will always be my girl. For a long time it was just the two of us. I was still a child (21) when I had her. We were playmates when she was small. Constant companions. And I will still young enough to go down the slide at the park. This child changed my life in every way imaginable.  All for the good. When I was pregnant I was given an AFP test. Very common and useful for finding birth defects like Spina Bifida. It also supposedly could show a chance for Down Syndrome. And that's how my levels came back. Talk about scared? We were sent to a geneticist. They were very pushy about having amniocentesis, which was still relatively new. After over an hour of questions and prodding she admitted that, at my age,  the chances of my child having Down Syndrome were much lower than the chances of the test prompting a miscarriage. Talk about mad?  When further questioned about whether anything could be done to improve the situation if the amnio confirmed Down Syndrome,  the only thing she could offer was that an abortion could be done. Talk about more Mad? I was 22 weeks pregnant. I was already feeling flutters. I remember the moment. I was sitting at work and literally felt...butterflies. And what the hell is wrong with Down Syndrome?  Harder certainly but so what? The doctor was lucky My Mama (Because I wanted My Mama there with me) didn't slap her before we marched out in indignation. And worried a little for the rest of the pregnancy. But only a little. Because I had already changed my lifestyle for this child. Already determined that even though it would be a struggle I would remain home with her. Already determined that the world revolved around this baby. And nothing could change that. When she was born the first thing I asked was, Is she ok? There was No Sign of Down Syndrome. She was perfect. Except for her heartbeat, which was not. And so she spent her first hours in the infant ICU. More fear. But all of this taught me something very quickly. What it meant to be a parent. I was introduced to that powerful love, but also powerful fear very early. Maybe that is what gave me the strength to fight through her teenage years, when it sometimes felt like life was just conspiring to take this child from me. Even before she was born  I could illustrate myself with eyes wild and teeth bared, my arms crossed tight across my body holding her close to my heart and snarling...MINE...Mine. 

I had to learn to share of course and she is very much grown up and her own person..but all the same..my child.

Happy Twenty Fifth Birthday to My Biggest Girl! ....My Sunshine : )
Though you share the revolution with your sisters you are shining brighter than ever : )

Got Kittens?...just checking...


I've used this here on your birthdays before but nothing says it better for me.

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