At Least I Totally Won THIS Argument

I'm revisiting the past again. But this time I am going back pre-blog and kind of why I started the blog. I was going through an older email account that I rarely use and found this in my sent box.
It's from April of 2009 and may explain why I needed an outlet. I was trying to raise Middlest. You see, Because no grounding could ever hold Biggest and Littlest was obnoxious and will argue her point to the death, but ultimately remain obedient,
 Middlest IS The Original Perpetually Grounded.

The following is an email sent to and replied to by a fifteen year old Middlest. It was during the Godforsaken Twilight heyday and she had a crush on a creepy little...creep...who liked to pretend he was a vampire and wrote her long, romantic, Gothic essays of love. I particularly liked the one where he forgot to change his old girlfriends name to hers in one paragraph. You know the type.

Anyway. I was amused when I found this and hope you will be too. And of course...

I Totally Win.

What is really so great about vampires? What can vampires do? Live forever and drink blood and what.......

Some of them are snappy dressers?

Vampires smell, kind of musty.  And they can't check the mirror to see if their hair is messy or if their makeup is on straight. They suck at making breakfast.

Why do vampires make bad love interests?

A night out is no fun. They are a waste of a good meal and money at a nice restaurant. They will just sit and stare at you while you eat, so you feel like you have something on your chin. 

Vampires can't dance, they have no heartbeat so they can't keep rhythm. 

They go see all the new movies while your sleeping and then tell you the endings.

They can't go to the zoo.

They won't help with yard work because they are afraid they might impale themselves on a rake handle.

When they kiss you goodnight they leave holes, so the next day you look like you have herpes.

You hear they were seen out with another chick and they tell you it "was just dinner". But can you be sure?

You can't have a long term relationship. You start to age, but they LOOOVE YOU so they really won't risk your soul, so they just start to stay out a little later.

Vampires can't 'love physically', they just look at you all mooney. And when you start to look like their mother they get all funky about it.

Vampires are fun to watch and read about. But living with one? All that vacuuming up the coffin dirt. Having to scrape all the bat crap off the garage floor when your parents are visiting. Trying to smile and repeat once again how much you LOVE blood pudding while you're at the butchers. Oh yeah, you have to quit shaving your legs cause if you nick yourself, you might be done for. You can't snuggle with a vampire, they are too cool for that, or is it cold? Well, either way.

Middlest:

why vampires totally beat lame human boys

Vampires don't change. If they really love you, you can coerce them into changing you. Vampires don't sweat. Vampires don't mind freaky obsessions with "myth" because, well, they are considered fantasy. Vampires don't get confused about their emotions. Also, vampires have probably read ALOT of books and lived during a ton of really cool historic events. No more history books! Vampires can help you cheat on your math test. Were said vampire to change you, you wouldn't fall down as much. If your vampire is wearing makeup, there might be a problem, and hey, men don't fix their hair anyways.

Oh, and vampires can't die so you're not always worrying when they pull stupid stunts or that some jerk is gonna shoot them. Vampires know more than your mom and can be perfectly silent and sneak into your room after the parents are asleep so you can spend hours talking to them about everything. Vampires will not always be "too old". Eventually you catch up. Also vampires have already lived their lives a thousand times over so they can really help with little problems.

Vampires don't have to sleep, so when its two a.m. and you're being trigger happy, you have SOMEONE to talk to you and make it better. Let's not forget vampires (possibly) can read you mind so you never have to explain those annoying little things that you just don't wanna explain.

Vampires can take you anywhere really fast, for that perfect romantic date.

Vampires give a different insight into the world that will be all together refreshing.

 

 

Yeah. I Totally Won. Except for the math test part. That's a good point. But,
"Vampires know more than your mother."?
Not if they live a million years darling.. even when the names and ages and what they claim to be change over time..not in a million years. Most definitely not in four : )

 

© 2013 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

Re-Run. Just For Fun!

Not long after I began my blog in 2009, Biggest got married. Shortly after her wedding I created this post. I was a little nervous about it but couldn't resist.  I only had four followers and don't think anyone actually read it to begin with and at the time, no one at home knew about the blog and I figured I could always delete it if necessary. After three and half a years I find I don't really give a heck anyway. So in light of recent events in Biggests life I think it is perfectly appropriate to re-visit this topic-and add an update ; )

Some Kind of Biological Switch Flipped: Originally Published December 2009



The first thing I asked Biggest, when she told me in October that she wanted to get married around the weeks between November & December, was, are you pregnant? The answer was no, and her Guy said "no, she is marrying me for my health insurance". Really they have been together almost 4 years & were just ready to go at a time when it would suit where they wanted to go for a honeymoon after the holidays, without being during them.  They thankfully aren't in any hurry to have kids. Of course, neither were we, but there you go. Anyway.....


I have informed my children that they do not have to present me with anything for a very long time. I have been taking care of others my entire adult life. I only have 4 years to go until I am not responsible for anyone and I can't wait to not have to consult anyone's life but my husbands. And he feels the same. We have let them know that if anything happens within the next 10 ten years, baby sitting services will be limited to special occasions & illness. I refuse to raise anything else more complicated than a sea monkey. Or maybe a kitten. Those feelings may change but for now I'm standing my ground. I have, however,  thought it through to the point of setting aside some of the girls more special toys & books for my future grandkids.

On the flip side, the other Mother in Law was already thinking of grandbabies before the wedding and began on the subject during the reception. I don't grudge her that at all. The Groom is an only child. I can certainly understand her feelings. I had not met the other inlaws before Friday. They live out of town. Before I go further I want to make something very clear. They are Very Nice. I Truly Liked them Very Much. They just have slightly different hobbies than we do. That said.....

 This is just my personal feeling, I don't want to ruffle in open air loving feathers. It's any adults personal choice. But I am scared as hell of motorcycles. I have seen one in an accident. My husband borrowed one from a friend as a young man and was injured. My sister is a retired police officer and over the years filled me in on some more details. We both made sure to instill this terror in our children. I will digress to tell the story of the time Biggest had a boyfriend with a bike and avoided getting on it by telling him we would not allow it. I informed him she was 18, she could do whatever she wanted. But that's another point. Sometimes she's a wimp when she doesn't want to have a conflict with someone.

I'm getting to the point, really.

At the reception, the other mother in law was in the throes of future grandbaby passion when these words came out of her mouth.
 "Oh, and just think, and especially if it's a girl, I can get her on my bike and teach her to ride."

My brain experienced something like white static. I didn't have to bite my tongue cause I was speechless. I seriously think I felt some kind of internal switch get flipped in my head.

 (Is there such a thing as Grandmaternal instinct?)  Did she just say something about putting one of MY GRANDBABIES on a MOTORCYCLE? !!

Oh I Don't Think So!

Later that night,  Middlest mentioned that the other mother in law was really anxious for some babies.

"I know, I answered,
 But did you hear what she said about the bike." If they think anyone's putting one of MY GRANDBABIES on a MOTORCYCLE it's over my dead body!"

Middlest laughed,"Gosh Mom, what are you gonna have.. a Granny Smackdown?!
Well, possibly....

Biggest called me today worried that, 1st, her new mom in law was going to be frustrated  with the non appearance of a grandchild any time soon, and 2cd, that when there was one they might try to put it on a motorcycle. I told her to remember that this is Her life and that when she has a child it will also be Hers. Nobody, Including Me, has a say in raising it except she and her husband. Period. That when she felt strongly about something she did not have to keep the peace, but should be considerate and respectful while standing her ground.

All this "Big Ta Do" over a non existent and unplanned child.
Oh God, we really are all nuts.
And I need to ponder where that "switch" came from.

But it helps me remember that I have the most Awesome and Wonderful Mother in Law in the World. I think I will call her and tell her I Love Her right now. And Thank You. for always asking, never presuming, and watching my kids too, sometimes just for fun!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

UPDATE 2013

Last week Biggest called. She said: I have a migraine.

She told me Decent Guys Mom and Step dad drove up and descended on them for the weekend, ready for an epic baby shopping spree. Biggest is still in her first trimester. Her mother in law proceeded to list everything she wanted to get. Persisted in rubbing Biggest stomach and announced to the hostess at a restaurant that Biggest was "carrying her grandchild." If you've been around here long enough, you know Biggest. You can imagine how well that went over.

A few days later Biggest was visiting me. She was complaining that she tried to tell her mother in law that it is still very early and she isn't ready to start buying things yet. She wants to wait a little while and make sure all is well and take her time and she wants to pick things out herself to make sure it's stuff she likes.. Her mother in law just didn't get it.

I told her to be patient. Her MIL is just excited. After all, I've had a few day dreams about little plaid skirts and maryjanes-possible little league games-snuggling up with somebody to read Peter Rabbit....
I told her: "Don't hurt her feelings, she just wants to help."

Biggest looked at me with fire in her eyes.
She won't stop.
 She 's showing me onesies with Harley Davidson on them saying," Isn't this cute?"
No! No It Is Not Cute!

Uh Oh. What was that click?

Oh I Don't Think So................





© 2012 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

What Mothers Day Means To Me

Of course it is a time for relaxing and goodies and getting my way...but...it also is a time to remind me. It makes me remember that I have something precious. I have given birth. I have raised three beautiful young women who..who..call each other names and get in slap fights...but who also encourage and support each other.  Are there for each other. Know how to communicate to each other. Strong and ..um..mature..young women who are smart and capable and creative

and...and...something else....

Encouraging Message from Littlest to Middlest.


 

Thank God They Are Mine : )


Happy Mothers Day To Me!


And


A HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO YOU TOO!

May your children be as goofy as you trained them to be : )

Now start training for Sunday: On Your Couch, Get Comfy, RELAX!

You know the drill.






© 2012 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

I Built This Castle

TO: You Know Which Daughter You Are.


I've been shoring up your walls so long
You hammer a beat to your own song.

I labored for this strong and tall
To make certain that you'd never fall.
When you stray I call you back
I fill another gaping crack.
Find tumbled stones, how did I miss?
And wonder how it came to this.

As soon as my back is turned
You forget all you've learned.

Marauders come to pillage and break
Then toss away the treasures they take.
I grab a shovel and dig a moat.
Somehow they will find a boat.
My arrows ready, I will shoot
Pull weeds out at the root

Behind a wall of gracious deeds
Smiling, you plant more seeds.

I lug some wood to prop things straight
Rebuild what I might create
Whitewash splashed on the wall
Excuses made to explain a fall
All this to postpone the fear
Of losing what I hold so dear.

With no regard to what I say
You gladly let it crumble away.

I ponder and wonder day and night
How I didn't get it right
I laid the plans and followed through
Knew exactly what to do
To accomplish this great endeavor
A master work to last forever

Deep inside the truth is known
You chip away at your own stone.



© 2012 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

Sunday 12:13 PM

I came to my computer trying to think of a post but ended up spending half an hour going through photo's. Watching our family over the past few years. We will have a lot of changes this year but I know that some things will never change. Who we are always has it's inner core.

Littlest who spent her early teenage years hiding in a hoodie and keeping to herself except for occasional inappropriate comments or scathing insults on 'people', spent the weekend two weeks ago at a boot camp simulation, field day type event between different regional recruiting offices, with the the other delayed entry 'poolee's for the Marine Corps. She competed in the crunches category because she still had a cast on her arm but is looking forward to next time because she is capable of doing 7 pull ups and is her recruiting offices secret weapon. She has met some other poolees she likes and it gives her some friends to work out with. The following weekend her cast was off and she turned into a princess. Looking drop dead gorgeous, she went to the prom with her boyfriend and other high school friends and being discerning young people, they spent most of the evening in a side room, where a jazz band was playing instead of the fray in the main ballroom and apparently she Actually Danced.  Last night she went to a club with a bunch of people in the 25 to 40 year old range from her Jiu Jitsu class to watch some of their team mates MMA fighting. She wasn't competing but may have wished she was when a young man from a different school, who had seen her fight before, told her, "Pretty girls shouldn't join the Marines." Which drew from her the statement, "People are weird. I think I'll go back to being anti social."


Biggest has been being Biggest and is up and down with worry and fretting.  Her boss is Peruvian and Biggest told me the other day she asked her what she would do after the baby was born. She told Biggest, "You will come back to work? Your Mama will watch the baby for you. That is how everyone does it in Peru."

I said: Heh..ha ha...hahahahahahahhahha.

Biggest said: Yeah. That's what I told her.

I'm five months from being done. I love her and I'm excited but- oh hell no.

However, she has had her first ultra sound and though it's early yet, everything looks fine. She and Decent Guy told me they are pretty certain they are having a dinosaur.

And Middlest? Middlest will always be Middlest. No matter how old she grows. She didn't even flinch when Biggest said that she was picking Littlest to be God Mother, because if something happened and they left the baby to Mid she would set it down and wander off and forget where she put it. She had no argument for that. The other day I noticed she had been off of work for awhile and I hadn't heard from her. And even though she's going on 20 I still worry. So I sent my generic message: Where's You?

She replied: Sword Fighting

She then sent a photo of herself and a friend with PVC in a parking lot. I told her not to run with pipes. She replied with a picture of a hole in her forehead-captioned-Good Advice

I said, I know you well.

I'm actually very proud of her. She's started going to a different church on her own and is painting a mural for their youth room.I think she may be learning to just be Mid without other people doing the steering. And that is a very good thing.

So that's what we've been up to. Just being us. As it stands on a Sunday. at 12:13 PM

I missed the moon a bit but I think this is still appropriate : )

© 2012 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG