We are beyond the days of everyone gets a trophy or a certificate for just showing up.
She drops a purple sheet of paper on the dinner table and walks away throwing the comment over her shoulder......
"Apparently I'm supposed to get an award or something. I don't know what it is."
"Do I have to go?"
The sheet says:
[You have been nominated to receive an award at our Underclassmen Award Ceremony. This will be a very special occasion for you and your family]
[I extend my congratulations to you. It is always a pleasure to recognize the accomplishments of our students.]
Sincerely,
The Groundeds High School Principle
It doesn't say what she did, but I suspect I know, and I am guessing it has something to do with her writing score on our State Standards Testing for Sophomores.
"You don't know what it is? It's during the school day, can we go? It says 'family."
Lit: "Do I have to go? I haven't done anything. I don't deserve to be recognized for anything. If it was the writing, I barely tried, it was stupid!"
This is the child who deprived me of her eighth grade Banquet and Creative Writing Awards at the Arts Middle School two years ago.
She told me,
"You guys don't have to come. It's expensive and it's not going to be any big deal. No, I won't be getting anything except the Mock Awards and everyone gets those. Parents don't have to come. There is no reason for you to be there. It's a Dumb ceremony and it's boring.
You Won't Be Missing Anything! "
It was so Obvious that she didn't think it was important and didn't want us there that we decided to forgo paying 80 bucks to have an awful and boring time. We did not go.
Which is how we ended up looking like the most cold, uninvolved, rotten parents on the planet.
When I picked her up she held her Mock Award, or joke award (Which by the way was a certificate that said, Most Likely To Light Up The Room With Her Smile.)
AND
A Trophy engraved with: Littlest G : Non Fiction Writer of The Year.
Which is when I wanted crawl in a hole and die and fled like the place was on fire before being cast in shame before the eyes of other parents walking out of the ceremony beaming at their children.
So what is this kids issue? I understand disdain for the, 'everybody gets one - big deal - events'. But why won't she take credit when she does accomplish something? It's not like we show up in cut offs and flip flops with a cooler of beer and some snacks or even do that predictable, 'stand up and take pictures and block everyones view through the entire event' thing. Is she actually boosting her boost by making us reassure and beg? Hmmmm...
The SeaMonkey and I were discussing it this morning and I told him,
"I can see it now. In fifteen years."
"Oh...by the way.....For some reason I'm getting the Congressional Medal of Honor...but it's no big deal.....you don't have to be there....I'd rather stay home, myself...but I Have To Go...It's so dumb...."
I told her I didn't care if she was being awarded a Pixie Stick for having the Most Sour Attitude in school......She Will Be There. And So Shall We.
© 2011 All Rights Reserved
Ah! Sometimes they do feel the awards are stupid and so do I. My son went to summer school last year to pass to the 4th grade. Why did he get an award for meeting state standards. After he finished summer school he came home with a stack of awards. Best out of the class for this, highest score for that!my daughter looked at me and said, "everybody else had to have been really dumb!" Not nice but it was questionable.
ReplyDeleteI think you should do EVERYTHING you can do be conspicuous and embarrassing at the awards ceremony - bring noisemakers! Maybe some firecrackers! Teach her to downplay her brilliance. Hmph.
ReplyDeleteI think I have given up on trying to understand what goes on in a 15 yr old girl's mind. Yes means no, unless it means yes, or maybe blue or plain "I hate you".
ReplyDeleteMy daughter would do the same thing, but we'd feel horrible if we missed it. Ya done good.
Help Mama: exactly! She truly accomplished something but the rewards have become so arbritrary that they don't appreciate it when they deserve it.
ReplyDeleteallisin: I think you are right. But we were saving the noisemakers and firecrackers in case Middlest graduates next week. Lits awards are the day after and we figure they will get confiscated when we are removed by security.
AE: Well I know she never missed an opportunity to embarrass us when she was in 8th grade. Now I'm wondering if she is just trying to ramp up the accolades at home ; )
I feel your pain. I pretty much had to force mine to walk in their graduations!
ReplyDeleteEighty bucks??? What's that about? I don't ever recall having to pay for an awards ceremony... thank goodness.
Ah that's actually a hoot to read and I do hope you enjoy this ceremony and what about the fiction writer award - way to go Littlest! Thanks for stopping by Kangaroos of the Scrubby Bush - glad you enjoyed my littlest story! Am following.
ReplyDeleteI had a coworker who was seventeen and complained that he needed some one could have talked to him when he was that age. See if you can check what is going on.
ReplyDeleteMoney matters are only material but scars once formed take forever to heal.
I'd probably do the same thing you're doing. Next time it's a done deal. Everyone goes.
ReplyDeleteMs. A: Oops, I need to edit and clarify. It was an end of the year banquet at Dave & Busters so cost a good chunk. For many years they only had the kids but the last two we were at the school they included parents. I also have to say they 'Did Not' clarify and let you know if your child would be awarded. It was partly to raise money and we had been paying our part for 6 years.
ReplyDeleteCheryl: Thank you! and yes I will be calling the school this time to fins out if we are allowed to attend!
Anonymous: You are correct! Read around the blog a little and you will see that 90% of my life is finding out what is going on. They actually are eager to share and this childs MO is 'I am a curmudgeon and I like it that way.' And they have scarred me way beyond anything I could do to them! ; )
blueviolet: I know, Though we spent several years on the 'everyone gets a trophy' sports circuit, I have learned that this one is not to be trusted when it comes to getting real honors!
I find this so interesting! But then, us creative types are always moody and difficult to understand, aren't we...;)?
ReplyDeleteYou have yourself a "modest genius", my dear. Bless her heart! That's quite the accomplishment! Congratulations to her and to you! (Next time tell her "too bad. we're going".
ReplyDeleteI don't know why she would feel that way, but I would totally go next time. Maybe she says she doesn't want you there but she really does? I dunno.
ReplyDeletePeryl: Yes,I do believe that's true!
ReplyDeleteLinda: I do. This is true. And we did and always will : )
Marilyn: I think that's what it is myself. She loves to say that her sisters get all the attention. She knows this isn't true and is usually joking about it. But, it's a test of some sort.
Well, congratulations to her! I am holding my applause no longer!
ReplyDeleteBtw, I would give anything if I could trade places with you. I have to go to every banquet, ceremony, you name it, whether she participates or not. Sometimes it really is a fate worse than death!
ha! even better.... oh, by the way, there's this thing this weekend with a preacher and some witnesses and rings and stuff. you don't really have to come because it's just a piece of paper or whatever and you know, you won't fit in with your cut offs ;-) and i would hate you to have to spend money on a new dress or something.....
ReplyDeleteso, the anti-paticipitory apple doesn't fall far.... :-)
but, yeah, she should go. and you guys. if just for the pixie stix.
oh, and yay littlest! you're lucky i'm not your mom... i'd cat call whistle and maybe yell a "yyyyeah DAWG!" when you walked up to get it!
Melissa: The banquet is the only thing I missed in 24 years of being a mom. She has had a chip at almost every event. The only thing that's worse is if it's for her sister and not her!
ReplyDeleteElissa: Oh, I have special plans for that occasion ;D. We will be going to this one too, even if she doesn't show up herself!