Middlest has been gone over a month. I have to say it has been strange but not as strange as I expected. You may wonder, "don't you miss her?" I have to say, No. Not really.
In my everyday life of getting through the day I actually do not miss her at all. I hardly notice she's gone except that it's quieter and cleaner around here and that doesn't seem to be concerning me. I would say that we have made a smooth and seamless transition. Part of it may be that I am very good at removing troublesome thoughts and thinking of something else. ( As I have said before, Any resemblance to my Middle Daughter is purely a coincidence and means nothing ; ) Another part may be that I seldom miss my children much when I am not with them. In the 24 years I have been a parent I have never sent my kids away. They didn't go to summer camp. I never packed them off on a trip to grandparents who lived far away. We had a lot of togetherness in our family and even with the two whole trips my husband and I took alone, up until the past couple years, I think all the time I spent away from my girls would equal less than a month. So no. I don't really miss her presence all that much.
It's also true that she isn't far away and I can see her or call her as often as I would like. That makes it easier, I guess. But I don't. I've seen her three times. I don't call her and check on her and see what she is up to and what's going on. (Biggest gives me reports) She needed to escape from mothering and do things on her own. I find it hard after so many years to break that pattern and when I talk to her it's habitual for things to slip out. Like,
"How much money do you have left in your account?" And, "Why are you still dating that douche?"
So I remain silent and aloof. I do what I do every day with hardly a ripple of change disturbing my pattern.
The answer is no. On a day to day routine basis, I do not miss Middlest.
We are having a Nor' Easter where we live. The wind is kicking up a fuss and it has been Blustery and blowing like...well wind. Really wild, out of control, gusty wind.
Middlest called.
She said, "I had to call and tell you this. Biggest is still asleep and I don't have anyone else to tell."
I braced myself. Oh Lord. What has happened. What is wrong.
Mid: I woke up this morning and I thought , "It's 'Windsday'! I feel like going outside and dancing around and shouting to everyone, It's Windsday! It's Windsday!". Like from Pooh Bear.
Me: That's because it is 'Windsday'. I thought the same thing.
Mid: Oh Good. I thought it was just me.
And that. That is when I missed her.
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Aww...that is so sweet. And it IS a Windsday! It's crazy out there, isn't it? The lake/river look like the ocean. Happy Windsday.
ReplyDeleteROTFL! Was it the innocence you miss? LOL
ReplyDeleteAwwwwwwww
ReplyDeleteoh mid. now you've gone and done it.
ReplyDeletevintage pooh rocks. new pooh blows. and not in a windsday sort of way.
hope you don't have to throw me a missage in a bottle as it may take awhile to get here and i am not entirely certain my tush will fit into an umbrella right now for rescuing. but line up your honeypots just in case.
It's the little things I miss the most. I don't miss the drama and extra mess, either. I miss mine being young and thinking I was the greatest, that I could do anything, and they love me unconditionally. Somehow, all that changed when they grew up. *sigh
ReplyDeleteOh - Awww ... that actually brought a tear!
ReplyDeleteMDSA: Happy Windsday to you too: ) My yard looks like it has been moss bombed!
ReplyDeleteNicole:I think it's having another person who is thinking something at the same time you are. It's often something off beat or weird too : )
We are usually on the same wavelength. That's what I miss.
blueviolet: I know right? She justs rips my womb out while I'm cleaning bathrooms : )
Elissa: Yes she did. *snicker*. *snicker snicker* : ) Luckily Tiggers don't like honey so I will have plenty of supplies. But be on the look out for Heffalumps and Woozles!
Ms. A: I miss having unplanned fun with them. We have had some good unprompted silliness breakouts around here.
Silver Strands: I know what you mean. I was wandering around with my rubber gloves and toilet brush feeling bereft the rest of the morning.
That's adorable. But they do need to start finding their own way. I know it's not always easy to let go, but that's the only way we keep them in the long run. The thing is, they keep coming back. For years and years, they keep showing up at the door. It's all good.
ReplyDeleteHow sweet. You two have a very special bond.
ReplyDeleteAwww! So sweet! I think you are handling it all very well.
ReplyDeleteI am getting a little worried about when Sydney is "gone" from home. It's coming up so fast. Really hopping it's a few more years and she stays at home through college.
:-)
Linda: That is so true. So far my oldest only came back once and very briefly but my parents ended up giving one of my brothers the house. It was easier.
ReplyDeleteAE: We are alike in all the wrong ways. But it's nice to have someone appreciate you even when you are far out : )
Angelia: Sydney was your 'only' for so long. I think that would be a bigger shock to our mom-ness. There is no easing into it.