Or, I have been shopping.
The silhouette that suited me when I was seventeen.
Long and fuller on the top, then narrows straight and lean.
It's back! Oh Joy! We once we made quite a team.
Until I look, Oh Lord, what's that? A cone of frozen cream?
Or maybe it's a light bulb, walking round alive.
What lit the room a seventeen, is not as bright at Forty Five.
Work calls me away for a few days. As always I will not have access to my blog or email while I am gone. Catch you when I get back!
© 2011 All Rights Reserved
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Cat Got My Tongue...Or Brain..or Something...
Busy.Scattered.Tired.Weary.
Haven't had much time to write or read and can't focus when I try.
One of those weeks when my brain wanders and I have to wander on a business trip next week.
So let's just call this a
Wordless Week.
Without pictures.
Dim down.
Flow.
Ah. That's nice.
Now I have to feed the dogs and cook dinner and starting getting quarterlies together and begin to prepare for traveling and iron some linen and teach Mid to drive and take Lit to Jujitsu....
Shoot.
REPLAY.
Haven't had much time to write or read and can't focus when I try.
One of those weeks when my brain wanders and I have to wander on a business trip next week.
So let's just call this a
Wordless Week.
Without pictures.
Dim down.
Flow.
Ah. That's nice.
Now I have to feed the dogs and cook dinner and starting getting quarterlies together and begin to prepare for traveling and iron some linen and teach Mid to drive and take Lit to Jujitsu....
Shoot.
REPLAY.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
100 Degrees and Counting
Wow. I almost thought I didn't really have any full moon incidents and as I was staring at my computer last night dumbfounded....
Biggest Called.
She said: You promise you won't yell.
I yelled. WHAT?
And then she told me a story.
Middlest who had just returned home and went straight to the shower had been standing outside a convenience store talking to an acquaintance. A young man she has know for a few years and who has mental issues and has been in trouble many times. She has been told, begged with, and ordered to avoid this person. His behaviour toward her has bordered on stalking from time to time but then seems to level off and she will (stupidly) speak to him because he is acting normal. Which he was doing last night until he suddenly grabbed her wrists and shoved her up against the wall of the building and pinned her there, made some profane comments and refused to let go until after she had struggled with him for several minutes and got her hand free long enough to strike at him and then ran and took off on her bike.
Following family tradition, with the police department right around the corner and a row of businesses to go in for help and a cell phone in her hand, she called:
Her Sister.
Who then called me because Mid was afraid to tell us because she thought we would be angry at her for talking to the boy to begin with. Which is of course insane. Please reiterate to your children. Always tell! And call 911 for Pete's sake. We taught her that as soon as she was old enough to dial a phone.
It brought up the question again of why Mid is our only child not to learn a martial art but she did attend a self defense class at our local police department a few years ago. She was so shocked and surprised by an unexpected attack from someone she knew, and was having a normal conversation with, that it all flew out the window. But, this guy has been known to do this kind of thing before. Where she made her mistake was assuming it would be ok because he had not acted that way with her. Yet.
So anyway, by that time Biggest was in action. Bat Girl went into full duty. When she told me they were driving around and she had her bat in the back of the truck I told her to get her Bat Behind to my house and knock it off. We were calling the police. Bat girl hasn't interacted with the local PD in a long time and I think she was a little let down when we told her to leave the room while Mid made her report instead of leading the investigation herself. But we made the report and I don't know if anything will come of it this time around but at least we have a start if we have another issue.
Middlest was scared to death. I've never seen her that shook up. I was very concerned about her being afraid we would be angry with Her because she was talking to the guy to begin with. Was it a bad decision? Yes. Does that matter? NO. My usual best parenting advice on this one. Talk. Talk. Talk. and then pray. That's about all you can do. Hopefully some of it will stick. Eventually.
Littlest's offer to take him apart because she is still underage and can get away with it wihtout getting in as much trouble was Declined.
But the thought was deeply appreciated.
The Legendary Bat Girl, Biggest turns 24 tomorrow which is always a week long celebration and this weekend we will celebrate the once very young and new daddy who came home from the hospital the night she was born to find our cat had kittens in the closet and fell asleep on the floor with his head among the shoes and gentle purrs of that mama and her babies because he could not be with us. Almost half a century ago. Biggest says next year she stops counting birthdays. I somehow don't think that will include not counting presents....; )
Other than that. Summer time is here. If you don't know how I feel about that yet, you soon will.
It has been an average of 96 to 100 degrees here the last couple weeks. I haven't Actually shriveled up and died yet but there is still time. It's a little early for these temperatures, even in my warm climate, so I am paying my dues for having a nice chilly winter to enjoy.
So we are having a hot, hazy, lazy summer. No plans. No details. Some funky moon to start us off last night. We will take this summer as it comes. Too hot to move. Too hot to even talk much. We escape as much as possible. We sleep late. We read. We listen to the crickets and cicadas harmonizing in the trees. Swinging on the porch swing. Daydreaming in the grass beneath the trees.Hide in the bushes with our baseball bats in case crazy people show up..Watching the sky change colors in slow motion. Rising...Purple..Pink...Golden...Blue...Gray...Green with the rage of rain in the afternoons of those lucky days... to Pink ..... Yellow.... Orange....Periwinkle....lasting forever before turning down to a milky black that never quite hits it's mark with only the stars and that Big Old Moon to swing and dream on.
We wait until dark to come alive on those endless days when there is No Rain.
© 2011 All Rights Reserved
MOON MUSIC
Biggest Called.
She said: You promise you won't yell.
I yelled. WHAT?
And then she told me a story.
Middlest who had just returned home and went straight to the shower had been standing outside a convenience store talking to an acquaintance. A young man she has know for a few years and who has mental issues and has been in trouble many times. She has been told, begged with, and ordered to avoid this person. His behaviour toward her has bordered on stalking from time to time but then seems to level off and she will (stupidly) speak to him because he is acting normal. Which he was doing last night until he suddenly grabbed her wrists and shoved her up against the wall of the building and pinned her there, made some profane comments and refused to let go until after she had struggled with him for several minutes and got her hand free long enough to strike at him and then ran and took off on her bike.
Following family tradition, with the police department right around the corner and a row of businesses to go in for help and a cell phone in her hand, she called:
Her Sister.
Who then called me because Mid was afraid to tell us because she thought we would be angry at her for talking to the boy to begin with. Which is of course insane. Please reiterate to your children. Always tell! And call 911 for Pete's sake. We taught her that as soon as she was old enough to dial a phone.
It brought up the question again of why Mid is our only child not to learn a martial art but she did attend a self defense class at our local police department a few years ago. She was so shocked and surprised by an unexpected attack from someone she knew, and was having a normal conversation with, that it all flew out the window. But, this guy has been known to do this kind of thing before. Where she made her mistake was assuming it would be ok because he had not acted that way with her. Yet.
So anyway, by that time Biggest was in action. Bat Girl went into full duty. When she told me they were driving around and she had her bat in the back of the truck I told her to get her Bat Behind to my house and knock it off. We were calling the police. Bat girl hasn't interacted with the local PD in a long time and I think she was a little let down when we told her to leave the room while Mid made her report instead of leading the investigation herself. But we made the report and I don't know if anything will come of it this time around but at least we have a start if we have another issue.
Middlest was scared to death. I've never seen her that shook up. I was very concerned about her being afraid we would be angry with Her because she was talking to the guy to begin with. Was it a bad decision? Yes. Does that matter? NO. My usual best parenting advice on this one. Talk. Talk. Talk. and then pray. That's about all you can do. Hopefully some of it will stick. Eventually.
Littlest's offer to take him apart because she is still underage and can get away with it wihtout getting in as much trouble was Declined.
But the thought was deeply appreciated.
The Legendary Bat Girl, Biggest turns 24 tomorrow which is always a week long celebration and this weekend we will celebrate the once very young and new daddy who came home from the hospital the night she was born to find our cat had kittens in the closet and fell asleep on the floor with his head among the shoes and gentle purrs of that mama and her babies because he could not be with us. Almost half a century ago. Biggest says next year she stops counting birthdays. I somehow don't think that will include not counting presents....; )
Other than that. Summer time is here. If you don't know how I feel about that yet, you soon will.
It has been an average of 96 to 100 degrees here the last couple weeks. I haven't Actually shriveled up and died yet but there is still time. It's a little early for these temperatures, even in my warm climate, so I am paying my dues for having a nice chilly winter to enjoy.
So we are having a hot, hazy, lazy summer. No plans. No details. Some funky moon to start us off last night. We will take this summer as it comes. Too hot to move. Too hot to even talk much. We escape as much as possible. We sleep late. We read. We listen to the crickets and cicadas harmonizing in the trees. Swinging on the porch swing. Daydreaming in the grass beneath the trees.
We wait until dark to come alive on those endless days when there is No Rain.
© 2011 All Rights Reserved
MOON MUSIC
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Release My Breath And Smile.
This has been a very busy, long, tiring, and wonderful week.
Full of stressful and sweet moments.
I watched my beautiful Middlest walk out of the house a high school girl, looking classy and gorgeous in a tasteful dress that made her look like a real grown up. Which was weird. I was amazed at the stuff some of the girls showed up in to graduate. I saw dresses that looked like they belonged on stage in a hootchie review and 6 inch heels that they could barely walk in. My child looked like a dark haired Grace Kelly in a dress she chose herself. (Am I bragging? Damn Straight.) And walk back in with a diploma in her hand.
I saw her walk in a cap and gown that hid every bit of her. Except her face which glowed with a smile that couldn't be missed and moments after taking her seat she had found us in a giant arena. A skill learned from years in an orchestra. She beamed up at us keeping her eyes on her family. Except when her walking partner, who is a childhood friend--turned boyfriend--turned back to friend--was teasing her. Her comment was -"I started school with X poking me with his elbow and I ended school with X poking me with his elbow. Very Appropriate."
I sat with my husband of 25 years and watched her graduate from the same high school we attended. I sat with Littlest who will be there herself in 2013 but was more concerned with the toddler sitting in front of her and spent most of the pre-ceremony smiling and watching her. I sat with my son-in-law DecentGuy, who messed up when he was a student at this school and has been encouraging and fussing and Actually Bribing Middlest to do it right. He's been with Biggest too long, figures it works with that one, why not?...In any case, she has a bass guitar coming her way now. I sat with Biggest who also threw it away when she was there and who cried when Middlest told her she made it, because she was so proud. I sat with this daughter who will be 24 next week. Who stood next to me during the pledge but whispered 'sell out' in my ear and then redeemed herself by laying her head on my shoulder as we sat and watched. It always surprises me when they do that. I freeze in those moments to hold tight to every second of them. We've had several this week. Meeting Middlest on the half way point of out stairs and her reaching out, "I need a hug really bad." Littlest leaning into me as we sat on the porch, at home afterward, celebrating.
I watched the pre-ceremony show. Two families in the row in front of us almost get in a fist fight over the row. Between the family with 3 people who showed up early to save an entire row for the rest and the second family who decided to sit there. The first saying, "These were saved, we have more coming." The second saying, "No they ain't, there's no one sitting in them, they ain't saved." So the first family eventually settled on death glares and loud comments when their other family members showed up. What is wrong with people? The Groundeds' are split on who was right. One side says you can't expect to just show up early and keep that many seats. The other says, That was rude. Get there early yourself instead of stealing seats someone else showed up early for.
I saw the during the ceremony show. Which was people who were solemnly asked to observe decorum. No yelling, cheering, or horns please. After all, a family may miss their graduates name being called. Yeah right. This is a school that prided itself for years on being the only one that allowed flip flops as part of the dress code. The Teachers working Security did remember to look mean as they whispered "not yet, wait till the end" to the kids with the beach balls they were surreptitiously blowing up under their gowns during the final speech. Oh and for some reason the announcers kept pausing in between names ; )
This event marks another milestone in this journey I know will end before long. There will be change. But for now I hold on to this in the same way I hold on to those impromptu hugs and gentle leanings into my shoulders.
Last night I had my favorite. My family all together and enjoying our own company. The noise and ruckus they create as a group always makes me happy. My three daughters talking and laughing together. They are all big but I still hear the sound of running, laughter and shouts as they tussle. Middlest threatening Biggest to stay out of the corners on her cake, they were hers. But letting DecentGuy have one because he gave her a bass. Biggest and Littlest having a showdown between kick boxing and Jujitsu to see who was toughest. Middlest finally wondering, "How come I never learned to fight?" It's a good question. She answered it herself. "That's ok, I can just disregard situations until they go away". True. I think the fact that this situation not only did not go away but reached completion has floored her. She looked dazed as they handed her the diploma and she looked lost for a moment meandering off the stage. I felt a little lost myself. How did I get here? Where will we go next?
I guess it doesn't matter where or how. We will go together. Even if someday we are not physically in the same spot. I know. Wherever they are they I will feel them lean in and rest against my heart.
© 2011 All Rights Reserved
Full of stressful and sweet moments.
I watched my beautiful Middlest walk out of the house a high school girl, looking classy and gorgeous in a tasteful dress that made her look like a real grown up. Which was weird. I was amazed at the stuff some of the girls showed up in to graduate. I saw dresses that looked like they belonged on stage in a hootchie review and 6 inch heels that they could barely walk in. My child looked like a dark haired Grace Kelly in a dress she chose herself. (Am I bragging? Damn Straight.) And walk back in with a diploma in her hand.
I saw her walk in a cap and gown that hid every bit of her. Except her face which glowed with a smile that couldn't be missed and moments after taking her seat she had found us in a giant arena. A skill learned from years in an orchestra. She beamed up at us keeping her eyes on her family. Except when her walking partner, who is a childhood friend--turned boyfriend--turned back to friend--was teasing her. Her comment was -"I started school with X poking me with his elbow and I ended school with X poking me with his elbow. Very Appropriate."
I sat with my husband of 25 years and watched her graduate from the same high school we attended. I sat with Littlest who will be there herself in 2013 but was more concerned with the toddler sitting in front of her and spent most of the pre-ceremony smiling and watching her. I sat with my son-in-law DecentGuy, who messed up when he was a student at this school and has been encouraging and fussing and Actually Bribing Middlest to do it right. He's been with Biggest too long, figures it works with that one, why not?...In any case, she has a bass guitar coming her way now. I sat with Biggest who also threw it away when she was there and who cried when Middlest told her she made it, because she was so proud. I sat with this daughter who will be 24 next week. Who stood next to me during the pledge but whispered 'sell out' in my ear and then redeemed herself by laying her head on my shoulder as we sat and watched. It always surprises me when they do that. I freeze in those moments to hold tight to every second of them. We've had several this week. Meeting Middlest on the half way point of out stairs and her reaching out, "I need a hug really bad." Littlest leaning into me as we sat on the porch, at home afterward, celebrating.
I watched the pre-ceremony show. Two families in the row in front of us almost get in a fist fight over the row. Between the family with 3 people who showed up early to save an entire row for the rest and the second family who decided to sit there. The first saying, "These were saved, we have more coming." The second saying, "No they ain't, there's no one sitting in them, they ain't saved." So the first family eventually settled on death glares and loud comments when their other family members showed up. What is wrong with people? The Groundeds' are split on who was right. One side says you can't expect to just show up early and keep that many seats. The other says, That was rude. Get there early yourself instead of stealing seats someone else showed up early for.
I saw the during the ceremony show. Which was people who were solemnly asked to observe decorum. No yelling, cheering, or horns please. After all, a family may miss their graduates name being called. Yeah right. This is a school that prided itself for years on being the only one that allowed flip flops as part of the dress code. The Teachers working Security did remember to look mean as they whispered "not yet, wait till the end" to the kids with the beach balls they were surreptitiously blowing up under their gowns during the final speech. Oh and for some reason the announcers kept pausing in between names ; )
This event marks another milestone in this journey I know will end before long. There will be change. But for now I hold on to this in the same way I hold on to those impromptu hugs and gentle leanings into my shoulders.
Last night I had my favorite. My family all together and enjoying our own company. The noise and ruckus they create as a group always makes me happy. My three daughters talking and laughing together. They are all big but I still hear the sound of running, laughter and shouts as they tussle. Middlest threatening Biggest to stay out of the corners on her cake, they were hers. But letting DecentGuy have one because he gave her a bass. Biggest and Littlest having a showdown between kick boxing and Jujitsu to see who was toughest. Middlest finally wondering, "How come I never learned to fight?" It's a good question. She answered it herself. "That's ok, I can just disregard situations until they go away". True. I think the fact that this situation not only did not go away but reached completion has floored her. She looked dazed as they handed her the diploma and she looked lost for a moment meandering off the stage. I felt a little lost myself. How did I get here? Where will we go next?
I guess it doesn't matter where or how. We will go together. Even if someday we are not physically in the same spot. I know. Wherever they are they I will feel them lean in and rest against my heart.
© 2011 All Rights Reserved
Monday, June 6, 2011
Pomp and Happy Dance !!!!
OMG!
The Sky Didn’t Fall
The Earth Is
Still On Its Axis
The Globe
Did Not Burn Up
And We Did Not Perish
In A Hail Of Meteors
..This Year
BUT
We Dazedly Announce The
High School Graduation
Of
Middlest Grounded
Some Say 2012
Will Bring Armageddon
So We Are Gonna Party
Like
Like
The Class
Of
2011
However as she always does...she came thru in the end!
I Am Hugely Proud of Her and I am So Excited to share this news! I have been about to pop keeping it to myself because I have known for about a week that it was going to happen. That's just it though. I didn't know for sure until early last week. Final grades didn't come in until 5/27 . It has been touch and go all along but for most of this year we had a smooth flight. Until the last quarter when a series of personal incidents that I could swear were a curse meant to flatten this kid, caused a serious crash and burn. At the last possible minute her math teacher found a few points he misplaced in his stapler drawer or something and She Made It!
I would like to Thank Everyone who has come here and read and listened to me whine and complain and worry and offered Support and Good Advice to both myself and Middlest in our journey to get her through high school.
We also absolutely have to Thank GOD!
And Special Thanks to my Dear friend Elissa , who apparently has a direct line to him ; )
If you are new here, as may be apparent, This is a miraculous cause for a Major Celebration...so break out your confetti and join in!
Gongratulations to My One and Only Middlest!
WE LUV U!!!!!!
and to paraphrase the Great Dr. Seuss.....
Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy and
footsy as you.
And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
"Just go right along. You'll
start happening too."
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that "Life's a Great Balancing Act."
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
particularly when you are walking up to get that diploma....
© 2011 All Rights Reserved
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Please Hold Your Applause...It's Dumb...
Littlest has won an Award.....
We are beyond the days of everyone gets a trophy or a certificate for just showing up.
She drops a purple sheet of paper on the dinner table and walks away throwing the comment over her shoulder......
The sheet says:
[You have been nominated to receive an award at our Underclassmen Award Ceremony. This will be a very special occasion for you and your family]
[I extend my congratulations to you. It is always a pleasure to recognize the accomplishments of our students.]
Sincerely,
The Groundeds High School Principle
It doesn't say what she did, but I suspect I know, and I am guessing it has something to do with her writing score on our State Standards Testing for Sophomores.
"You don't know what it is? It's during the school day, can we go? It says 'family."
Lit: "Do I have to go? I haven't done anything. I don't deserve to be recognized for anything. If it was the writing, I barely tried, it was stupid!"
This is the child who deprived me of her eighth grade Banquet and Creative Writing Awards at the Arts Middle School two years ago.
She told me,
"You guys don't have to come. It's expensive and it's not going to be any big deal. No, I won't be getting anything except the Mock Awards and everyone gets those. Parents don't have to come. There is no reason for you to be there. It's a Dumb ceremony and it's boring.
You Won't Be Missing Anything! "
It was so Obvious that she didn't think it was important and didn't want us there that we decided to forgo paying 80 bucks to have an awful and boring time. We did not go.
Which is how we ended up looking like the most cold, uninvolved, rotten parents on the planet.
When I picked her up she held her Mock Award, or joke award (Which by the way was a certificate that said, Most Likely To Light Up The Room With Her Smile.)
AND
A Trophy engraved with: Littlest G : Non Fiction Writer of The Year.
Which is when I wanted crawl in a hole and die and fled like the place was on fire before being cast in shame before the eyes of other parents walking out of the ceremony beaming at their children.
So what is this kids issue? I understand disdain for the, 'everybody gets one - big deal - events'. But why won't she take credit when she does accomplish something? It's not like we show up in cut offs and flip flops with a cooler of beer and some snacks or even do that predictable, 'stand up and take pictures and block everyones view through the entire event' thing. Is she actually boosting her boost by making us reassure and beg? Hmmmm...
The SeaMonkey and I were discussing it this morning and I told him,
"I can see it now. In fifteen years."
"Oh...by the way.....For some reason I'm getting the Congressional Medal of Honor...but it's no big deal.....you don't have to be there....I'd rather stay home, myself...but I Have To Go...It's so dumb...."
I told her I didn't care if she was being awarded a Pixie Stick for having the Most Sour Attitude in school......She Will Be There. And So Shall We.
© 2011 All Rights Reserved
We are beyond the days of everyone gets a trophy or a certificate for just showing up.
She drops a purple sheet of paper on the dinner table and walks away throwing the comment over her shoulder......
"Apparently I'm supposed to get an award or something. I don't know what it is."
"Do I have to go?"
The sheet says:
[You have been nominated to receive an award at our Underclassmen Award Ceremony. This will be a very special occasion for you and your family]
[I extend my congratulations to you. It is always a pleasure to recognize the accomplishments of our students.]
Sincerely,
The Groundeds High School Principle
It doesn't say what she did, but I suspect I know, and I am guessing it has something to do with her writing score on our State Standards Testing for Sophomores.
"You don't know what it is? It's during the school day, can we go? It says 'family."
Lit: "Do I have to go? I haven't done anything. I don't deserve to be recognized for anything. If it was the writing, I barely tried, it was stupid!"
This is the child who deprived me of her eighth grade Banquet and Creative Writing Awards at the Arts Middle School two years ago.
She told me,
"You guys don't have to come. It's expensive and it's not going to be any big deal. No, I won't be getting anything except the Mock Awards and everyone gets those. Parents don't have to come. There is no reason for you to be there. It's a Dumb ceremony and it's boring.
You Won't Be Missing Anything! "
It was so Obvious that she didn't think it was important and didn't want us there that we decided to forgo paying 80 bucks to have an awful and boring time. We did not go.
Which is how we ended up looking like the most cold, uninvolved, rotten parents on the planet.
When I picked her up she held her Mock Award, or joke award (Which by the way was a certificate that said, Most Likely To Light Up The Room With Her Smile.)
AND
A Trophy engraved with: Littlest G : Non Fiction Writer of The Year.
Which is when I wanted crawl in a hole and die and fled like the place was on fire before being cast in shame before the eyes of other parents walking out of the ceremony beaming at their children.
So what is this kids issue? I understand disdain for the, 'everybody gets one - big deal - events'. But why won't she take credit when she does accomplish something? It's not like we show up in cut offs and flip flops with a cooler of beer and some snacks or even do that predictable, 'stand up and take pictures and block everyones view through the entire event' thing. Is she actually boosting her boost by making us reassure and beg? Hmmmm...
The SeaMonkey and I were discussing it this morning and I told him,
"I can see it now. In fifteen years."
"Oh...by the way.....For some reason I'm getting the Congressional Medal of Honor...but it's no big deal.....you don't have to be there....I'd rather stay home, myself...but I Have To Go...It's so dumb...."
I told her I didn't care if she was being awarded a Pixie Stick for having the Most Sour Attitude in school......She Will Be There. And So Shall We.
© 2011 All Rights Reserved
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