Friday, August 5, 2011

Anonymom. Like Not Existing Except In Your Own Head.

Sometimes blogging anonymously can be kind of creepy. I don't mean troll creepy but maybe that's where I get the feeling. Of course I've never had a troll. I usually put that down to not being worth the trouble to harass.

I know there are a lot of anonymous bloggers who choose to do so for privacy and safety reasons. I knew I had to be anonymous when I started my blog because of the personal nature of some of my content. I had to go through a whole lot of trouble to protect my writing, for what it's worth, by making sure everything is registered in my real name so that I can prove it's mine but keep my identity from being publicly accessible. Just in case I ever need to claim it. You know, when I start getting tons of offers for book deals and Hollywood asks me to create a sitcom or even More Likely, we find out that we are descendants of Edward the V, who actually escaped from the tower and Richard III, and grew up as a sheep herder, starting a family who eventually immigrated to the colonies and that we are his descendants and therefore the actual British Royal Family and are being returned to the throne and they want to make a Reality Series out of it. They will film us moving our Lazy Boys into Windsor and setting up our charcoal grill out on the balcony. We would still be nice to the current usurpers though. The Queen can keep her hats and the guys can still wear their fancy uniforms if they want to and maybe they can all hang out sometimes......what? Where was I? Oh....So I'm covered in the legal sense but on a personal level it kind of bites. At the same time for the most part this blog is often an open account of our lives and I have three daughters' privacy to protect as well as the fact that we are company owners and our business associates don't need to know our personal...well business.

My husband is rabid with worry about weirdo's and it's true, they are out there. We don't know who is reading and watching. Any blog can have a name and even photo's but how do you know they are real? How do we know what kind of people are peeking into our lives. Which brings me to the thought,

 'How do you know who I really am?' How do you know I'm what I say I am and not a weirdo.'

You don't. Which is kinda creepy. I promise I'm not but there is no way for anyone to know that. And that sometimes sucks. It makes me feel a little unfair to read blogs where I am given names and faces and have people come to mine and get a silly cartoon my daughter drew.

Then again, it can sometimes be like a transcendental experience. Ms. G and her rowdy daughters are wandering the planet without being seen. I'm flowing through the grocery aisles looking for dumplings and no one in the physical world knows what I'm thinking. But you, my dear ones, you read my thoughts and I in turn, know exactly how many of you are wearing yoga pants.

I have power in my invisible force field. I can say Anything I Want.  So I share. I share my wisdom. We explore the deep truth of bra shopping with teenagers and the magic of tomato red toenail polish. I reach deep withing the nucleus of my rhyming vocabulary to spread the gift of Really Bad Hokey Poetry and when the world is full of crisis and strife I hope you know that you can come to me and find solace in my insubstantial posts but honest existence. It's a good feeling to have your thoughts acknowleged  outside your own mind.

There is a theory in physics that basically states that nothing is real unless it is seen by another.

If that's the case, there would be no Mom of the Perpetually Grounded if it weren't for you.

I'm so thankful for all the great people that visit here.
The lovely commenter's willing to take me at No Face value.

I just want to say that I truly am a basically normal middle aged woman with a semi normal life and I hope it isn't creepy that I can't prove it. And when I read your blogs and you visit mine, anonymous or not,  I believe in you : )

© 2011 All Rights Reserved


  1. Although you're anonymous, I feel at ease reading your blog. I like the honesty in your writings and do not believe a troll can do that. I'm pretty confused about the issue of anonymity on my blog. Many of my bloggy friends have shared photos and their names with me and I feel compelled sometimes to do the same. But, of course never the names of my kids. I have even thought of changing my pseudonym to my real name but not completely comfortable with it yet. Still confused.

  2. I know what you mean and if it's any consolation... I'm not comfortable putting it all out there. There's freaks in the ether world!

  3. Whereas I am out there for all the freaks to find! Like you say though, I figure I'm not important enough to harass, and even my super-paranoid sister claims that psychos don't stalk vaguely literary mommy blogs. Anyway, I knew I'd slip up at some point if I tried to stay anonymous, and that would be embarrassing.

    And you are a little bit of a weirdo. Moving your Lazy Boys into Windsor....snort. Also, no apostrophe needed in 'commenters'. I know, I know - douchey. :)

  4. Funny, you don't feel or read that anonymous to me. You don't need a picture or name to connect with your words, because they are written so honestly. I understand the worry about weirdo's, I used to worry about that but I learned not to engage publicly in heated discussions and hopefully noone will come looking for me. It creeps me out to no end that the internet knows within a town or two where I am, and likes to volunteer that info and wants to facebook and twitter link me to everything. Um, no thanks.

    Oddly, this week I came out from behind the butterfly wing. It's been a gradual thing, becoming me online, using my name and finally my picture on my twitter and blog accounts. I figure with my tiny circle of followers, there's not much to worry about.

    And I never have to worry about upsetting real life people by talking about them, because my friends have no interest outside facebook, and I never told my mom about my blog, so I'm safe!

    But I suppose if an online person showed up at my door unannounced, I'd have a panic attack right there. Unless it was someone funny and nice, then I'd invite them in. I'm trusting that way. I like what Bibliomama said, who'd bother stalking vaguely literary mom blogs anyway! Right? Right??

  5. Wow so much of what you've written here resonated with me.
    My blog is me and I post about my thoughts and who I am, what I feel. Sometimes it's hard to post because while my blog is about me I do respect my friends and family privacy and realise they didn't sign up for their lives to be broadcast out to the world.
    So yes we blog somewhat anonymously but we keep it real enough so there's no doubt we're not 'trolls'. You keep it real in just the right way, which is what keeps us coming back

  6. No worries about your anonymity with me-I understand completely. I struggled with showing my face and using my name at first, but since my ultimate goal (some time in this lifetime) is to be a published writer, I figured I needed to have my presence known. Although I don't name my kids or husband, I have posted their pictures, and none of my relatives know about my blog, just in case I make a comment that could be misconstrued.

    I would love to meet some of my blogger friends,and I have even talked to one on the phone and thank goodness she sounded "normal."

    Now about my yoga pants... I prefer to call them lounge pants thank you very much. (LOL! How did you know?)

  7. mom2kiddos: Thanks, that is what I hope for here : )Sometimes it's very hard because I Would Love to post photos of my daughters.

    Ms.A. My husband is convinced that the serial killers would find us irresistable. But truly, the girls future employers don't need to know what a pain in the butt they are ; )

    Bibliomama: Allison, Why do I smell the fresh scent of spring flowers? ; )Seriously, you're right. That's me trusting freakin Blogger spell check instead of myself and not stopping to actually think about it because I ( really needed to pee) was hurrying. I actually had it right. Not that I couldn't have done it alone.....: )XO

    Mel: Thanks, That means a lot to me because I sometimes worry that it gets in the way of connections. If I actually ran into someone I recognized I think I would feel compelled to tell them who I was. Otherwise I really would feel creepy.

    Fi: Only my immediate family and one brother and sister know about my blog. If I wasn't anonymous I would feel much more limited in what I write. Would you all be coming by to read that I had toast this morning? Ok, sometimes my blog is about that deep, but still!

    Susan: I think that's part of it. There are many of you I would love to meet but I doubt it could ever happen. Wait a minute! You aren't in yoga pants! You are in slacks and tasteful loafers. My imagination said so. Don't try to confuse me ; )

  8. Oh and wait! I actually also spelled La-Z- Boy wrong? Shoot. Proves I've never had one : (

  9. I understand the need for privacy for some people, particularly when there are kids involved. I have to laugh because when I blog about a neighbor who is a little goofy or something, people want pictures. Excuse me? I'd never put up a photo of a neighbor that I had made fun of! I would never even use their name! You write with such honesty that I doubt anybody needs to worry that you are anything except a delightful woman and we wish you were our neighbor!

  10. Funny, I was thinking about writing a post about anonimity too. It is a double edged sword. And you are definitely not a weirdo.

  11. Honestly I really enjoyed when I used to post stuff just as "me". and then some wk ppl found my blog, then some ppl from my kids soccer team and then it all went to hell and a hand basket.
    So I was force into going anonymous.

    Which I guess is good in a way. Since now I can fully talk about stuff that bothers me and not have to worry about someone I know getting upset about the content.
    I have no worrys that no one EVER will want me to write a book. Ha


  12. Linda: The nerve of people asking you to post a picture of you neighbor *snort*! I wish I was your neighbor too. Wait. Would you make fun of me? ; )

    DG: Do write it. I would like to hear your thoughts. It can be a double edged sword when you would really like to take credit for what you do. Thank you too, I might be a little weird ; )

    Kittycat: I can honestly see that being a disaster in your case. I seriously doubt I will ever be approached for a book either. If I was I would probably panic and never write another thing ; )

  13. I just enjoy reading your posts! That's all I know. LOL

  14. i do worry about people 'finding me'. but really only my BFF knows about my blog. and a few others that 'stalk' me. but in a good way. i do show pics of the kiddos. but never use their real names. i think if my family read more of my blog i would tone it down a bit. i do have to remember that the blog name is on the bottom of some of my emails. and forget every once in a while. but this is my release. it is my place that i can vent. and everyone needs that. if i ever do go completely public it will not be while my Lil'Bro is walking the earth. just because.

    and oh i can promise i would have no control if i ever ran into some of the bloggers that i absolutely love to read on here. i would probably make a fool out of myself. because to me, on here, anom or not, there are still connections. and yeah it can be creepy. but i feel like i do know some of these women. even if it is only through their words. and i would totally make an asshat of myself. like all giddy and stuff. embarrassing really.

  15. Since my friends and family know I don't have a filter I don't worry too much about that. Mostly I hide behind the dog picture for work reasons. Last thing I need is to lose my job at Giant Engineering company.

  16. Empty Nester: Well that works for me! : )

    Loco: Hey there! I've been wondering what you've been up to. Ditto on that too. It's my place to let it all out and even though I'm usually a reserved person, I know I would be all giddy and huggy if I ever actually did something like a conference and then I would feel ridiculous and have anxiety that I was an asshat later ; )

    Mrs. Tuna: I don't have to worry about losing my job, thank goodness but I have to worry about my job losing work. I don't know that we would, I'm not exactly controversial, but we do need to maintain that line of professionalism. Plus the girls have career futures I don't want to interfere with and I tell on them for almost everything here!

  17. MEH. i knew you were a weirdo all along ;-) anonymous or not, we can pick out our own kind....

    truthfully, i love that you keep it all under your cap, because you CAN say stuff that i have to only sort of say or ignore all together. which is ok. it's a different sort of blog and i am not that interesting so i don't have a ton of followers. i think you would not have so broad an audience if you weren't such a mystery.

  18. Well thank goodness I now know what normal is! :-)

  19. Elissa: You are funny and smart and talented and I find your blog interesting for many reasons. Well, also because I sniffed out that you're my kind of weirdo ; )That's why I adore you...not in a creepy way...more of a fellow weirdo way : D

    Cheryl: Well, Normal in a subjective kind of way ; )

  20. Am I like weird for laughing at some of this or weird for posting my kids pics? Sometimes I wish I were anonymous. Or atleast my family didn't know. Not that i woupd talk about them......or maybe I would, but I would like to know that people I know aren't creeping through my blog to be nosey. Because that's what a lot of people do. So instead of trolls we have nosey people creeping around. Now thats creepy.

    I always think it strange that i can actually read a blog of someone I have never seen. Not even a pic but feel a connection, encouragement, and overall genuine. Everytime I stop by I feel as though I'm at my girlfriend's house. Creepy, right? LOL

  21. Nicole: Not weird or creepy at all! I love that because I feel the same way : )


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