Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Climbing to the Top of the Footladder

I don't pay that much attention to my stats because it's irrelevant. My blog is not a job, it's sometimes what I do instead of my job.... or cleaning my house and I have no plans to ever change that. But every now then when I'm bored I take a peek. I am Very Pleased to announce that my Former Most Popular search term, Emo Boobs has been surpassed by Why Does My Car Smell Like Cat Pee!!! It's good to see that I have left my shady past behind and am now performing an important service to the world.

After that I thought it might be fun to Google my blog because occasionally I like to look myself up and see what I've been up to. Whoa, what's that? I have an Alexa rating? Seriously Alexa, don't you have more important things to do? Go get a manicure dear, why are you wasting your time picking up tiny pieces of lint, that only someone like a mom would notice anyway?

So I went to my Alexa page to see what was up. Not much. But I noticed they had some of my search terms. Hmm, Circle of Stupid at # 2. Interesting. That one doesn't show up very highly in my stats. What's up with that? So I hit the link. And my page is there but this is what I find on the search page in the Sponsored Links:

Search Results for the circle of stupid

Displaying 1 to 4 out of 4 sites.
Sponsored Links

Crazy Circle
Find Low Prices and Multiple Offers Crazy Circle
Crazy Circle
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Schizophrenia Types
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Then I saw  an "Audience' tab. Well, I know my audience and they rock.
 Let's see what Alexa is gossiping about under the hairdryer.

Audience Demographics for

Relative to the general internet population how popular is with each audience below?

Age 25-34 Relative to the general internet population, 25-34 year olds are over-represented at
Confidence: low 35-44 Relative to the general internet population, 35-44 year olds are greatly over-represented at

Confidence: low Education
College Relative to the general internet population, people who went to college are greatly over-represented at
Confidence: low Graduate School Relative to the general internet population, people who went to graduate school are under-represented at
Confidence: low Gender

Male Relative to the general internet population, Males are greatly under-represented at
Confidence: low Female Relative to the general internet population, Females are greatly over-represented at

Confidence: low Has Children
Yes Relative to the general internet population, people with children are greatly over-represented at
Confidence: low No Relative to the general internet population, people without children are greatly under-represented at

Confidence: low Browsing Location
home Relative to the general internet population, people browsing from home are over-represented at
Confidence: low work Relative to the general internet population, people browsing from work are greatly under-represented at
Confidence: low

SERIOUSLY! Oh My God, Alexa, please forgive me for Hitting My Target Audience!!!!! And by the way Alexa, some of my favorite visitors are over 50. I will be turning 46 soon. Does that mean I Won't Find What I'm Looking For at My Own Blog? What a shame. That sucks. I kind of like my family even if they are apparently nuts according to Google. I'll break the news to them later.

I'm not sure I know what to do. God forbid I have any Smart Moms close to my age reading my MOM BLOG from their home while I write mine from My Home. But none of that matters because Alexa has 'low confidence in me.' I let her down. All that offering to watch her dog while she's out of town and run her clothes to the cleaners. Stopping by with little surprise gifts and letting her borrow my favorite scarf and she still doesn't have any faith in me and won't be my best friend. What else can I do?

I Know, YOU PEOPLE need to get with it!

Go get a sex change operation. While you're at it, change the age on your birth certificate along with your name. Or go lay in the sun and smoke and drink a lot so you age faster. Get your butt to graduate school or just quit school, why bother? And why aren't you reading while you are at work? Don't you know this is important? The boss can wait! Why are you at home? Get the hell out of the house and get A Real Job and for Petes sake, get rid of those damn kids!

I have an Alexa Ranking to worry about after all!

Just between us? I heard she had Botox ; )

This Post is hanging out with lovelinks at Free Fringes Come on over and join the fun!

© 2011 All Rights Reserved


  1. That Alexa is nothing but a gossip and a hater! ;) And yes, I've been suspecting the botox thing too.

    You're so silly!

  2. I went to graduate school. Other than that, I'm find with being over-represented. Hey, I wonder if I can find my blog stats (when you start a blog by googling 'how to start a blog' there are certain subtleties that get left out, sometimes permanently. Oh well.)

  3. I've never really bothered with Alexa and I think I'm probably not even listed there. I'm barely able to keep my readership alive. I think she's just a botoxed lady trying to make life difficult for us. But, I might get itchy fingers one day and pay her a visit. :D

  4. Oh hell you hit your targeted audience! She's so mad that she talked about us. LOL

  5. According to my Google stats, the only thing my blog is good for is people searching for photos of lice. Now that's disappointing. And humiliating. And frickin' itchy! QUIT IT!

  6. Okay, I am definitely out of the loop on this one-who the heck is Alexa and why is she telling you what to do? LOL!

  7. What Susan said! Who the Heck is Alexa? Nevermind, I'm sure I DON'T want to know!

  8. blueviolet: I know, picking on my people! And yes. Yes I am. And possibly in need of a vacation; )

    Bibliomama: There's hope. I think I started by googling 'What's a blog?'; ) And Hey Alexa! I've got Allison, so there. hm.

    mom2kiddos: I never bothered on purpose for my blog. It just popped up. I think the answer is patience and if you have ambition, a lot of hard work. Which I don't do. It's taken almost 2 years for me to gather my little group of Awesome regulars. Excellent people who have been loyal for whatever reason, mean the most to me. Oh, and if you visit, watch out, she'll try to tell you she's really a blonde too ; )

    HelpMama: Nicole, I'm surprised I hit any audience! But truly, my people are the coolest on the internet.

    AHandU: That is a Hoot! Cracked me up and you can know I mean it, cause I just went all southern on you. Thanks for stopping by, My big brother is a SAHD with a Corporate Goddess as well. You fella's rock! And Um Alexa, Do you see this? Hmmmm?

    Susan: Ha! It's a website that tracks type of usage on a site, which comes in handy if you are doing business. Which I so obviously am not! And I know, who does she think she is? One of the top guages of the internet? Whatever; )

  9. Ms A: I had my comment screen up so long trying to finish because my family interrupted me 50 times that I missed your comment coming in! What Susan got answered ; )

  10. I find that Alexa can sometimes be a bitch.

    In your case, she's more like Captain Obvious.

    (Who really cares about Alexa anyway?)

    Love that you made fun of rankings, stats etc.!

  11. Ok, I'm the only one here who doesn't know what/who Alexa is, and it makes me feel kinda... "low education." LOL

    Anyhoo, I enjoyed reading this post. Now I know there's such thing as Alexa, and that she/it is a bitch :))

  12. Alison: She's as obvious as her gray roots. And no one cares , she's so last week.

    dostss: HA! Good one : ) Just avoid her, nothing but trouble!

  13. I don't understand ANY of that stuff. I just watch my hit counter. It's simple and easy to understand. Of course, most of them are ME trying to see how many hits I have... Love this!

  14. LoloLyons: I have a basic understanding of it because I have business websites. I think my ranking for my blog is higher than for my company but we won't think too hard about the reason for that ; )

  15. well,on the bright side, you'll always have her to amuse you when you are trying to avoid housework... whether she has confidence in you or not ;-)

  16. Now I know what to do next time I am way too bored.

  17. Now I have to go see who this babe is too. Someone really should "school" me about stats, etc. I have no clue!

  18. Elissa: True! Or I could just go outside and watch an anthill : )

    AE: Hit the X in the corner of my blog? ; )

    Linda: It can be fascinating... in a narcissistic and paranoid kind of way ; )

  19. My most reviewed post......the New Adventures of the Naughty School Girl. What a tramp I am.

  20. Mrs. Tuna: Ha! Was that you behind the bleachers?

  21. Emo Boobs? Oh my!

    If I were you, I'd kinda be bummed. That has to be one of the most awesome search terms EVER in blogland!

  22. Liz: No worries. I'm still holding my own in there with all the pasty porn stars ; )


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