Wednesday, May 18, 2011

By The Light......

I am back. And wore out. but this week was a pretty good one even in the light of...well, the moon.

Biggest called. She said,

My house is on fire! I don't know what to do! I heard a funny noise behind my dresser and I pulled it out and there were sparks coming out of the plug and I grabbed the cord to pull it out and then flames shot up the wall and DecentGuy isn't here and I have all these animals and the wall is all black and I don' t know what to do!

Now we all know the first thing you obviously do when your house is on fire.

You call your mother.

I Said,

Hang on a minute, I'll get your Dad....

(It was fine. bad cord and Friday the 13th)

Littlest has been working out and lifting weights. With a history of gymnastics she was already pretty strong and now she is powerful and she looks incredible.  She also occasionally has some issues with anger and self control.  So like any good parents we decided to support her interest and nurture her talents. We signed her up for a Jiujitsu class. She is very excited. She thinks it will help with her goal of being a Marine. Middlest was not pleased. She declared,

"No! You can't let her learn that. She will hurt me!"

We reassured her. " No she won't. Don't worry. If she does we will call the police."


For the first time ever we traveled and left the girls home on their own.  ( With secret surprise visits from their sister and my MIL.) They really wanted to prove that they were trustworthy and mature enough to take care of things. We were nervous wrecks but we finally agreed. After all Middlest will be eighteen in August and as she said, "I have to be alone at some point in my life." Which is true. I have tried to teach her basic life skills. Like cooking eggs and sorting the laundry before using the washer. But then, she is the one who called after we left because the washer was making a funny noise.  I thought all that was caught up and wondered what she was washing? Two bra's....and a backpack....yeah...anyway.  After that I felt better about leaving them a large supply of microwaveable Ramen and Beef-a-Roni to eat rather than meals that required a stove.  I left them them a detailed list of things to do to fill their every moment and exact times to check in and about 2 full pages of instructions. Including taking care of the dogs. Making sure they were fed correctly, let out often enough and that people/cat food was not left out where they could get to them and get sick.

The first day I sent a text to ask what they were up to. I received this 2 part message from Middlest:

Msg. 1: Throwing a Wild Party
Msg. 2: With Fabio

Later I made sure to let them know we arrived safely. because I know they were on pins and needles worrying about it. I sent the text:

We are here!

To which Littlest replied:

Cool. We're in Vegas.

Which gave me a moments pause because we just updated our wills and left Biggest in charge of everything if we die and also left her a hefty check to cover things temporarily in the event the worst happens.

But Karma was alive and well and the next morning when I sent a text to make sure they got up for school because I Knew They Wouldn't. I received this answer from Littlest:

"Yes. We are up. And one of the dogs got sick and messed all over the house!"

And I was far away. Even though I was in for a long day of work ahead of me, there would be a nice dinner and a quiet clean room at the end of it. One of those moments when you stretch and sigh for a moment leaning back on comfy hotel feather pillows with a small smile because you know, Ah!

Life Is Good!

When our work was through I sent a text letting them know we were heading home. To which I received this reply from Middlest:

You guys are gone for not even three days and i gut my room, quit smoking, finish my work,  and overcome a crushing depression. You need to go away more often.

I said, Ok.

Besides, tells on herself for smoking when she has already been busted for it once. Obviously the same young woman that, when asked,  " it's three weeks to graduation, have you finished your grade recovery and brought up your math grade?"  Answered: "Yes..."

Oh Wait! Biggest just called me. She said her clients are all crazy and she is having a nervous breakdown! She just needed to vent for a moment.

You know what I'm gonna do now?

Moon Music

© 2011 All Rights Reserved


  1. I hope the next time there's a fire, Biggest remembers to call the fire department. :)

  2. The KINKS!!!

    Sounds like everything went really well!

  3. I want to go away and get smartass texts from my kids. Except even the kid who's allowed to stay by himself is too scared to, and I hate texting. Glad it worked out. Your kids are so cool.

  4. again your taste in music is amazing.

  5. I don't even have to go away to get the wise cracking texts. We still have a couple of years before we leave the house in my offspring's care. Then again...I do want a new house...hmmm.

  6. LOL!!! You are right-Karma did get you. (Why do the animals always get sick when a)you are going away, b)you just washed the floor, or c)when company is coming or already arrived?

    I'm glad you got a break.

  7. The one time we left our 17 year old home alone, she almost joined a cult. I won't even leave to buy milk now

  8. Marilyn: Her Aunt is a Firefighter. You would think she would at least call her!

    Ms A. I echo, THE KINKS!

    Bibliomama: Allison, Sadly, they may have picked up smartass texting from me : )I love a text because I hate talking on the phone. Partly because I don't hear well and mostly because I just do. They weren't scared but bored. The first evening I was gone they were calling their sister to come over because "it wasn't as fun as they thought it would be."

    mombshell; Thankyou; ) Between the two of us I bet we could put together an incredible multigroup concert.

    AE: HA! I couldn't leave the oldest in charge for an hour when she was a teenager so it was hard to let go. I did place the fire extinguisher strategically. In the middle of the kitchen counter : )

    Susan: The best part is that my house is nearly all wood floors. That would make cleaning a little easier. We do have a large area rug in the living room and one carpeted den and the dog determined that the carpets were his best choice.

    Mrs. Tuna: Snort! Have you told that story yet? I want to hear it.

  9. Those txt msg are hilarious! I'm glad it worked out. It feels so good to see them grow up and we can trust them a little bit. Lol on the other hand if my kids had to clean up after the dog it would probably be there for me when I get back.

  10. Any kid that can text that snarky is okay in my book. I really hope someone cleaned up after the dog before you got home (but I have a feeling...)

  11. Help! Mama: Nicole, I am kind of glad they are groing up. They knew the house had to be in some special condition when we came home because it was part of the deal. And it was...except, see below...

    Misfit Mommy: They are pretty darn cool : ) And you are dead on. They actually did a great job on the 2 carpets in the main areas BUT sure enough, when I came home there it was. On the carpet by the fireplace which is an area that isn't in plain view and regular use. They didn't think to look 'over there' because it wasn't on their main path to the tv, kitchen or computers!

  12. I'm not surprised you're wore out. You should be plumb tuckered, Mama!

  13. Yes, they call mom when the house is on fire AND when they see a tornado from their bedroom window. Because moms are just like Pecos Bill and will ride that thing right out of town!

    LOVE the way you write!

  14. I have missed reading about your family's adventures! I laughed out loud with Biggest's call to you! Your daughters are so witty.

  15. Baby, roll up a big doobie and relax. That's what I would do! And you can't do it around the kids so do it when you are away. I love this!

  16. PAA: Peryl, I am tuckered for sure. But my sister needs help putting a cabinet up and it's time for the grocery again....

    EmptyNester: You are right about that! I am planning on disappearing to South America if my oldest ever has children because she will be a basket case!

    LMBL: Hey There! I was wondering where you went. It's great to see you and look at that new profile, Gorgeous!I will be visiting : )

    Linda: hee hee, I wouldn't touch that comment with a ten foot doobie ; )

  17. Your kids sound hilarious. Mine are little still, I am trying to make them as sarcastic as possible. I hope it all pays off.

  18. A Mountain Momma: They are something alright. They seemed to have come by the sarcasm naturally and my Littlest lives by it.
    P.S. *Sigh* What I would give to be a Mountain Momma : )

  19. Parenting never ends, does it? Just the other day I called my mother to ask her how to get poop out of a wool rug. Don't ask.

  20. Well, all in all it sounds like a successful trip! Your daughters are hilarious, they must get it from their mom. It's nice to know there is hope that I can leave mine home one day and they will survive, and hopefully clean up.
    Lovely music clip, thanks!

  21. It's nice to hear from someone else who also had kids that age. I know how you feel. If my kids had texted they were in Vegas I wouldn't have to bat an eye, because I would be thrilled they had even responded at all. Still alive? Check. ... good, now for that me time. ;)

  22. The Sweetest: I called my mom about everything until her alzheimers became to bad.

    Mel: I was so worried but I can always use that little break from them even if I'm working!And they did ok and managed to be entertaining too : )

    le Chef: Exactly!!!!!

  23. have a cuppa tea is such good advice!

    This made me laugh so much.. I liked the bit about the fire and the bit about calling the police best

    Your kids sound hilarious x

  24. Milk-2S: It's my favorite cure! I think you would like them. You could talk about cats with the oldest, books with the second and Dr. Who with the last ; )


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