Monday, May 17, 2010

Our Cup Ovary Floweth

Duck,  It's a Mood Swing!

Living in a house full of females can be trying. The hormones have been flowing like a river here the past few weeks. We could probably bottle and sell our own brand of estrogen....but then again it would probably be recalled by the FDA.

When Biggest lived at home the PMS around here was staggering. I've discussed before that she actually has PM DD. Now she has her own home but makes sure I don't miss any of it by phone. You never know if she is going to be sick of her job, her pets,  her house or her husband. The best way to deal with it is to plan trips. If she thinks she is going somewhere it keeps her distracted and she may not start throwing things.
We seem to have PMS. DMS(during) and AMS(after) lately. Every one seems to be stressed out in general already.

The other two have been been up and down like a see saw with the boy thing which is about to drive me out of my mind. They have been swinging back and forth from euphoria to murderous all on the basis of detailed analysis of the last cryptic facebook chat, innocuous texts and whether or not he just waved hi or came up to talk in school, or God forbid, didn't acknowledge them at all.  I keep getting completely caught up in these "what does he mean by that" sessions and at some point I think, wait a minute, I am getting way to involved in this. I should be counseling you about the sucky grades, not whether he just thinks you're a friend (then why is he flirting with you) or why he was talking to that other girl in the hall. There are only a few weeks of school left and we need to concentrate on that. But still one moment they are dancing around the house like it's their birthday the next they are stomping, slamming things around and refusing to look up and acknowledge anyone.
Some of this even resulted in Middlest having a fit, shoving a desk and locking herself in the bathroom of her science class. It takes a great deal to make Middlest snap. She is adept at letting things flow over her without getting to her. Not lately though. She was crying and a girl in class was picking at her about it. My girls burst in to tears in stressful situations. It is a mechanism. By that evening her opinion was "well, I bet they never mess with me again." I don't know how many times over the years I've had phone calls from teachers concerned that there was a problem at home. The kids actually find this amusing. They will come home and say, Oh yeah, lost it in English today, my teacher wanted to know if I'm having emotional problems, just in case you get a call." Then they laugh. Ha.Ha. In this case though the poor science teacher seemed to think it was something he did. He called and asked if she didn't like his class and would she rather move to another. That was a first. This teacher is pretty cool though. He suggests that all the parents should home school their kids because the system doesn't allow for individuality. This is true but strange from a public school employee. I have done it once and I have to say I just don't have it in me to do it again.

The most enthralling time is when they will be sitting talking together or singing together which I love and then in a split second they will be calling each other names and slapping each other. Choruses of "she's a Freak", "she's a Psycho" ringing throughout the house. Now I have noticed that this fight often seems to start the moment I say it is time to do a chore. Dishes for instance. They will be fine but then it begins and they are able to procrastinate the chore by having an all out brawl. Then one always stomps out and says I'm not doing this with her. And the other says, I'm not doing it unless she helps. I'm just like ? you are both doing it and you know it so why are you wasting time.

Having his "Good Morning" and "How was your day?" met with mumbles and glares The Surfer has fled to the bedroom to hide.  He sticks his head out  gingerly sometimes to see what the response is. Then he snaps his head back in like a turtle and hides some more. He is outnumbered the poor thing. Then at the end of the day he looks forward to having a little quiet time. He watches tv, I usually read.
And then, the Hot Flashes start.
I've been a little swingy myself.
If they snap at me they are likely to get snapped back. I'm perfectly capable at the moment of giggling with them one moment about the boys, lecturing them the next about focusing in school and not worrying about boys and bursting into tears the next because they won't.

I'm only running on one ovary and I think it's starting to kick it.
I have mentioned before that I had all of my kids in my twenties. In the 80's and  90's when I had my kids this was becoming more unusual. Even considered trapping yourself. The experts and articles expounded the importance of career and fulfilling yourself before committing to family. I was nearly always the youngest mom at play group and school. It could be hard socially going to play dates with Pediatricians and Teachers and to have mostly only been a "mom" so far. Despite my pity party awhile back about spending my twenties caring for others it's a good thing I did.

I do believe that there is One who knows best. In my profiles I explain that we weren't planning children when we got married. Biggest came anyway. So did Littlest. Both during times when it was really a struggle to take on a child. Middlest was the only one we planned. And that wasn't exactly a plan. It was more like my husband went out for a couple of beers with his friend whose wife was expecting and came home all emotional about babies and lets stop using protection because we should have another.
And he got one. That night.
If I had waited. If I had been able to make a decision about my future. If I had an overwhelming dream and passion to fulfill while I was young. We would be childless.
At 24 they caught a very early stage cervical carcinoma. Part of my cervix was removed and they said I might have trouble carrying more children. Then scar tissue grew over it and they thought I might have trouble conceiving. Nope. The scar tissue actually helped with the carrying. And then, I had to have a hysterectomy at 31 due to Endometrioma of the uterus and ovaries. They were able to keep one ovary that I just have to go in every few years and get the cysts popped off of and that way I didn't need hormone replacement.

There is no doubt in my mind they were all three meant to be here and have a purpose. They are meant for something. That is was my job to get them here.
I don't know what I would do without my girls. I am so Thankful they are here and part of my life. At the same time I have to admit that I'm relieved I'm almost finished. Living in the crazy house I believe my husband is to.  At this point I am almost done with ovaries. Every Ones.  I am about half way through life and maybe past that to insanity. Only time will tell. So I can look up and catch a glimpse into the future and my next destination. In the meantime. One of my top 5 faves.

What Is Going On In My Head?
Monday Music

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  1. I believe the same thing. Especially considering all the doctors and pharmacists I know who 'accidentally' have kids -- it's either believe it was meant to be or realize I have a lot of friends who are morons :). Also, I bet a lot of those pediatricians and astrophysicists were jealous of you being a young mom. I never had huge career ambition either, and I feel really lucky that hanging out with my kids didn't make me feel like I was missing the opportunity to be a big-shot lawyer or CEO or candlestick-maker.

  2. I believe all kids are meant to be here and have a purpose too. (Although sometimes I think the purpose is to drive me crazy!)
    We have plenty of drama around our house with PMS too! Hope everyone is feeling better within a few days.

  3. This is SO hilarious! Took me back to my growing up days with a sister...but those memories have faded considerably as I live in the opposite universe from you -- I have four sons!

  4. All I can say is thank God for boys.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate

  5. NO!!! HUSH!!!! I too have THREE daughters...& a boy!! I am absolutely dreading having them join me in the hormone ridden world of PMS....this house ain't big enough for the 4 of us!! :-o

  6. Oh boy, as much as I would have loved a girl, right now I'm kind of glad I just have the one boy. I'm bad enough at that time of the month; our household couldn't handle another PMS wackjob like me!

  7. Everybody has a rhythm that is just not working with the other members of the band! Thankfully, these periods run in phases and will be interspersed with calm and peace. (I hope.)

  8. My daughter does that too. When its time to do dishes she gets a major attitude with her brother. I say its because she wants to take it out on me. Emotional! After every game we go through emotional swings with her. Sounds a bit like my house

  9. I love 4 non blondes...

    Can't even imagine a house full of female hormones - can't even cope with mine. Though my four-year (boy) does have mood swings that rival my worst freak-outs!

  10. Hi found you by following links on my friends blogs, love what I read so far, can't wait to read more. As the mother of a teenage daughter I will be following to remind myself I'm not the only one being held hostage by girl hormones!

  11. I believe this with all my heart.My children are so perfect for couldn't have happened to any one else. They fit me, and I'm the one for them.

    WIthout a doubt.
    Beautiful post, I've often thought this myself.

  12. I talked you up in my post today - cause you know I love you!

  13. Allison, Pam, & Empress: yes I believe this is So True!

    Laura, Redbonegirl97 & Pamela: I'm thinking that would be lovely because then I would only have to deal with My Mood Swings, or not be the one to deal with them, hee hee.

    Mayor, Help Mama, & Carol (Nice to meet you Carol): This project obviously is one for chocolate. Lots of it. For everyone.

    Blue Violet: The last time I saw peace it was on a documentary about hippi's. I think the band mine are marching to is Flogging Molly. At least that's what the cd in the kitchen player is right now :)

    And Peryl: I do love 4 non blondes and you know I love you too!

  14. I didn't plan my first but planned number two and you're right-I wouldn't change this for anything. (However, I do have a right to rant and rave during the other times-LOL!)


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