Thursday, May 20, 2010

OMG! It Was Awful!

So every morning I get up at 5 AM and I have some tea and watch the news and prepare myself to wake the girls up at 5:30. Well  I got up and there was No Cable. Well alright I'll wait a few minutes it's no big deal because I never remember what they said this early anyway. But...Nothing. So I think, well, maybe I'll just go in the office and use the computer for a little while. Nothing. No phone either. So my Technologically Unneedy Almost Amish self panics and calls the cable company and this woman with a lovely musical voice informed me that their technicians were aware of the problem in my area. She was kind of rude though because when I said "alright thank you" she just kept talking over me about pushing 1 or 2. I wasn't planning on pushing anybody, just get it fixed, ok. So what am I to do? I already read yesterdays paper. But, Oh look it's the crossword puzzle. I hate crossword puzzles because I really suck at them. But I did it anyway. And I got 22 out of 107 words in 17 minutes. Some were a breeze because it involved nursery rhymes and I know Mussolini came from Italy but then they started throwing in football and basketball related questions. I know that 16 across is either began or begun but I'm not sure which because 4 down is  "bane of a a pirates life" and it might be "plans" but I can't be sure because 23 across is "Set, as in supplies needed to build something." which to me would be "stuff" but it's only 3 letters and throws off the "plans" so whatever. And what the heck is "a ball on a string" ?
Finally I get back from dropping the girls at 7:15 and it's time to get in the office and go to work. But No. Still nothing. So I had to clean the kitchen.
 7:45, Now they have brought  our business to a screeching halt, we can't get anything accomplished. No emails, no phone, no fax. This is No Way to Run a Business but who really cares because...
I Can't Get To My Blog!
 Even if I am caught up on my reading and don't have anything in particular to write I sometimes take a break from my work to pull it up for a few minutes during the day just to gaze at it lovingly for awhile. Because It Is Mine! All Mine!  My place where if I am obnoxious or annoy anyone it doesn't really matter because if I passed you in the grocery store you wouldn't know it's me. My place where I can let my thoughts run free with no inhibitions...except for what the kids will read when they go snooping on it.  And no one is in control of it but Me....until now.

So I start aimlessly wandering around the house. Then I start to get all paranoid and think it could be WW III or Armageddon and I would never know because I am cut off from all contact with the outside world....except my neighbors and what do they know, they don't have their cable either. I fantasize for awhile about terrorists waiting at my daughters schools and taking them hostage and I couldn't rush to save them because obviously they would confiscate the cell phones and they couldn't contact me. Biggest could be riding to work and the Aliens come and zap her and DecentGuy and I wouldn't know that all my four legged grandchildren were orphaned and waiting alone at home.  I think about calling my sister in the next county to see if she has cable but either she does and it doesn't matter or it's Armageddon and she won't be there anyway, so.. I call the cable company and listen to their recording again. They are still very sorry at 9:30.

I finally figure that even though I don't have Internet I can still do some Important Work on my computer. So I decide to work on making another button I've been thinking of. I like to make my own stuff.  My template is a gift from Blogger God and Josh Peterson down there in the footer made it and I don't want to steal from Blogger God or Josh Peterson to advertise myself with because they might smite me...or sue me.... or something....I don't really I like to make my own little button.  I don't use any fancy software (because I don't have any).... I just do it on plain old Microsoft paint, because.....well because I'm lame, but still.
I suck at this too but it keeps me busy for two hours...because I suck at it....but in the end I had another button. I already asked Littlest to make me this button. She is a pro at paint. She has been using it since she was  two and can do almost anything on it. She did draw one that I actually liked a lot but she got all power trippy on me and wouldn't let me pick my own colors. She kept saying I needed contrast and what she was doing looked better. Even though I said minty green was pukey and I didn't want it I prefer that really tastefully understated neon lime green.  When she was finished we discovered she hadn't changed the pixels first and we couldn't use it anyway, so I fired her ; )
Really I waited till she got  home to ask her opinion on my sucky little button and whether she wants to make another. She says go with my lame one because she really doesn't care it's pretty awesome and that's fine with me because I do it for my own amusement. I don't expect anyone to be impressed with my Super (Lame) paint with a mouse skills.

So Anyway....It was lunch time so I called and listened to the cable recording again just in case they changed the message to "Hey, it's Armageddon, run for your lives" but they hadn't,  so what's a Technologically Unneedy Almost Amish gal like myself to do. Something Wholesome of course. Wait...there was something I used to do.....what was that...? Oh, yeah Reading a book might be edifying. So I put on my Almost Amish bikini and went and laid in the sun and read for an hour. And kept my ears open for the phone ringing with the message from the cable company that My Life was back on.
Then I took a shower and afterwards quickly ran  nonchalantly walked to check the phone lines to see if I missed anything. Nope. So I ate some lunch and then just as it was time to walk out the door and pick up Middlest the.... phone rang. So I rushed out the door to get her and once she was safely in the car told her "do not even think about getting on that computer when we get home, it just came back on"...."I mean I have a lot of work to do so no facebook  right now."
It was out nearly All Day. So now that I am back online and have finished emptying the 50,000 spam mail messages that have accumulated in my company email I will have spent the afternoon trying to remember how my Technologically Unneedy Almost Amish Self made that button last time so that that I can post it on my sidebar next to my other button in My Technologically Unneedy Almost Amish Hall Of Lame.

© 2010 All Rights Reserved


  1. I'm posting this from my iPhone because our Internet is down again---for the third time this week. And it's just our house. Hoping to be re-connected by NOON tomorrow. Heeeelllllppppp!

    Signed---Going Crazy In Arkansas

  2. I understand you pain, I feel the same way when mine goes out. I decided to end the package deals because of the whole if one goes out, they all go out.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate

  3. We had the cable and internet down for a day. 24 hrs. It was hell. Never will I trust my boyfriend with the bills again.

    Movies and cleaning was all we did. A nice 24 hrs later, the house is trashed and Go Diego Go is blaring. Beautiful music.

  4. I know I'm a whore to technology. Just yesterday my internet was all wonky and slooooooow, like dial-up slow. I almost had an aneurysm!

  5. It's scary how much we've come to depend on technology, huh? I'm the same way, too.

  6. Hello! Please stop over, I have an award up for you!!

  7. Dude, I am almost Amish myself cuz I am just SO detached from the world, but when my computer got a virus and I couldn't blog for like 13 whole hours I almost died. It was so painful and I was just spinning in circles not knowing what to do with myself. (Of course, the 52 loads of unwashed laundry and dishes were following me around the house and meowing my name, but I couldn't hear them somehow.) I'm glad you are back up! We can go back to being Technologically Unneedy Almost Amish tomorrow. Right?

  8. I love that you spend two hours making a button in microsoft paint. It makes me want to hug you and give you chocolate chip cookies and paint your toenails turquouise.

  9. You are all Awesome. What makes me even more lame is that I recently had a post that mentioned how little I used Technology.
    But I still swear I will never touch coffee.

  10. I love it! I however, could never claim to be a Technologically Unneedy Almost Amish self. I wonder if Josh Peterson feels the same?!

  11. I feel your pain because we had a computer virus last week and the thought of putting my computer in the shop and not having it for 2 days scared the hell out of me......sad and pathetic really.

  12. I also get in a funk when I am not connected! I write online for several communities, and if I cannot log on, I cannot publish my work for pay!

    Please know that I am still in awe that you can create you rown button. I won;t tell you how long it took me to make mine-and I already forgot how I did it!

  13. Pamela: I wonder. It might be fun to go by his site and ask?
    Farmers Wifey: Not really. If you have ever read Fannie Flagg's books that center around a town called Elmwood Springs over a long period of time, there is a character who runs a radio show out of her house called Neighbor Dorothy. Back then it was common to have these rural shows and I have noticed reading these very good books that the content reminds me very much of the way women are blogging today.

    mommymommymommy: At least you have a good excuse. I'm freaking out over for free! And it took me over 6 months to figure out how to make html for my first button. And that was with reading directions: )I had to find a site that just showed me without trying to explain it!

  14. I hate when that happens. I'm totally lost without it.


Just Humor Me....

Search This Blog