Just Joy With It

It's just there.

I don't know why. Bubbling up while I vacuum. Snuggling into my blanket while I relax. Swelling to a crescendo when I walk across a room. It can't be stopped.

There is no exact reason for it. When you look at the big picture there would seem to be every reason for it to not be present at all. True, though there have been the usual share of stresses, lately things have not been a train wreck for me personally.  I imagine that helps.  All the petty worries that chip away slowly are there as usual. All the huge worries than can overwhelm are present as always and conspire to make us lose hope. But the joy overtakes them like a tidal wave drowning them in delicious tingles of content and ripples of laughter.

I have habitually distrusted joy, always waiting for the event that crushes it.  Felt guilty with joy. Why should I have joy when there is such a lack of it for others? Felt foolish for joy. This world is a serious place with serious problems. Do I not see the trouble everywhere starting from right next door and spreading across the world? Yes I do.

Yet I feel Joy. Unbounded all consuming Joy.

And
maybe events might crush it.
I try to find ways to bring it to others.
I am aware and do what I can and what I think best.

So I have decided,

To Have My Joy and Be Joyful Too.

I Wish You Joy!

Will you stick it in a drawer and wait for a better time to use it?

Don't do that.


© 2011 All Rights Reserved

Listen........

There IS NOTHING going on at my house. Not a thing. Not a peep.

and Biggests' phone isn't working ; )


Turn off the news. Turn off the screen. Turn off the phone. Set that list aside.

It's a dim down. Just breathe.

Moon Music

Time Capsule

Back in October I decided to chance the deep dark depths of the closet under the stairs. I took some pictures while I was doing it and in keeping with the system by which I created my time capsule I'm just getting around to organizing this into a post. If this is the first time you are visiting my blog let me recap that my daughters are 24, 18 and 16 years old. We moved into this house when they were 2,4 and 10. At that time there was only one thing in the closet and it's still there. This was a very emotional experience. I am sentimental and so are my daughters. I have tried to do this before and they prevented me so I finally waited till they were not here and dove in. The SeaMonkey has been complaining and threatening to throw it all away for years.

Let's start with what I would find when I opened the door. Don't ask why there are blinding blue walls with big white splotches all over them. It was a family project. That's all. See that pile of stuff to the left? Middlest left these things when she moved in with Biggest-in September-and back in- last month- and has been asked to move them to the shed or back in her room.

Want to know where they are now? Just a second, let me turn around.

That's right. In my office.

So anyway. Beyond the norm like luggage and sleeping bags,

 I find more of my most recent child to reach adulthood.

Mid practices painting using old cardboard to save money so I had a whole lot of cardboard

 and also canvas in there.

More Mid. wth? Seriously.

This is a box of stuff left from when my mom lived with us in 2007

 and it's all junk but I didn't want to deal with it at the time.

Then a little further back to when Biggest moved out.

 This is a really nice pair of handmade cowboy boots that she says she has no place to wear. She admired a pair a regular customer was wearing when she was about 18 and working at a sandwich shop. The next week they brought her a pair.

 Because that kind of stuff happens to Biggest.

I put them in Mids room.

Ah, and then I hit the dress up bag. Oh boy. The mommy hormones started to hit about that time but I persevered. The doll is gone. The costumes? Ok yeah, They're still there.

Are you kidding Ms. G.?

GONE!

This is Ouchy.

Ouchy belongs to Littlest. There is not much of her stuff in there because there is yet another big closet upstairs and it is still full. But Ouchy?

Ouchy stays.

This was one of my dads hats. He died 11 years ago.

This? Oh yes! This IS a totally Awesome purse from  the 80's.

What do you mean? Where do You THINK it is? : )

Mm Hmm. Doesn't fit a single toilet in the house. But! You never know.

 Then we hit another clean the kids rooms out session. Thomas the train, cars and a naked Barbie.

I was going to dispose of these. Guess who saw them in the trash pile and asked me to put them back? The Seamonkey. Mr. "Just throw it all out." Mm hmm.

 And whales. Of course there where whales. And there still are.

Pooh and boxing gloves. The story of my children in one photo.

Yes. That is exactly what it looks like.

Feel feel to use the photo to confound the children on family trivia game night.

Alright. Sometimes being a pack rat is very cool. No these have not been under the stairs since World War II ended.

 But they had been under there so long I forgot I owned them.

Do you know what all this is?

Neither do I, so I just put it back in the box and left it under there.

Back a few more years to Pooh.

 And Grumpy

At the very back a box of Biggest. The first one. Softball trophies and Birthday Barbie.

You know those stayed too.

Last of all was our crib comforter. My parents bought it for us when I was pregnant with Biggest. Yes. It stays.

All in all I sorted thru 7 large bags of stuffed animals to be donated or disposed of.

There are two left. (One entirely filled with whales). I was troubled by the lack of apes and when questioned by Biggest realized she doesn't have them either. The monkeys have escaped!

God help us if we don't find them somewhere. You should have seen her face.

I also threw away a few boxes of junk and am proud to say you can now walk five feet into the closet. Or at least you could until The Seamonkey said, "Look at all that space"and put his stuff in it.

But while it was empty I saw something I haven't seen in many years. At the very back the closet takes a left turn and reduces to three feet high. Just the right size for a young child to sit and play Barbies in the Barbie house their mother contorted herself to create and stenciled and hand painted the walls of. There are actually six rooms but my knees didn't allow me to stay in there long.

I still refuse to concede that, as my children claim, "they are screwed up because I kept them in a closet under the stairs when they were little. "

Ingrates.

I even let all three of them paint the clouds all over that blue sky.

And no, this will never be repainted as long as I live.

Do you have trouble saying goodbye to pieces of the past? Or are you a ruthless clutter killer?

© 2011 All Rights Reserved