Just Checking In

I haven't had much free time.

I've been a little busy.
I've been doing some overdecorating.
Including my totally artistic, avante garde and individualistic 'one glass shade missing' chandelier.

With a Little help from My Friends, Aragorn and Legolas.
Since they broke it in the first place with a little help from their friends-Littlest and Middlest.
But Aragorn and Legolas are always very helpful with Christmas decorating.

 

AND cleaning out my dresser because I got a new one. Or, more like, my sister is moving and sold me her dressers which are Way Newer than mine. In the process I found these treasures.

Plastic baggies full of teeth.

Hopefully my kids will never become endangered and the Feds do a raid on my house for poaching in Tooth Fairy territory.


 

AND playing musical doctor visits with the girls for things like Respiratory Infections and Knee Injuries and a Face Rash that looks like...ok..athletes foot to me. Because my daughters are such...um..Princessses. At least all Biggest needed was a ride home from work, because of a stomach flu. I'm just waiting for the plague to rain down on me.

 More doc visits tomorrow and my library books are overdue and and ah.. ah.. AH CHOO!

Yeah. I'll check back in eventually.


© 2012 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

It Just Isn't a Holiday Without Bad Poetry

So I dug into my archives from 2009 to reproduce this gem originallly entitled:

So I Missed My Calling (As a Greeting Card Writer)

May your turkey be tender
Your stuffing just right.
The corn mellow yellow
And your cranberries ripe.

May your blessings be numbered
That when you behold
How many you've Thanked for
Your food has gone cold.

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded
Inflicting bad poetry on others since around 1979
( when she was usually grounded )

Have A Happy Thanksgiving!

Now does anyone know the measurements to make green bean casserole? Because the worst has happened and the recipe is not on the cans for the green beans, mushroom soup or onions.

Yes. I'm serious.

; )


© 2012 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

Life Is Good Whether I Like It Or Not

Thanksgiving is coming up and of course this is the time of year when we all look around and find things to be Thankful and Grateful for. Now, sometimes it’s hard to be thankful because things are, well, hard. Sometimes it’s hard to be thankful because they are..good. Doesn’t seem like it should make sense but it does. In the past months I have been inspired by several blog posts I've read which were done so much more articulately and succinctly than I can manage but please bear with me as I try to make my point in 2000 words or more, as usual,  while others can do it in 500 or less : ). 

You see, I do appreciate and give thanks for my blessings. I also feel guilty for them. Because things are bad. In a lot of ways and a lot of places. And part two, which I’ve mentioned here before, is that I often have trouble enjoying the good that comes in my life because of,

BUT-what happens next?

Because I have had bad times. I have had my ass kicked. And I know it can happen again.

 And I don't like that.

Let’s take a detour for a minute to talk about faith. I have faith. I have absolute faith in God and am also absolutely certain that faith has nothing to do with preventing bad circumstances. If I am blessed it is by Grace not because I deserve it or have been singled out. I feel it is not so much given as allowed. The same goes for difficulty and strife. It is not what we are given. Faith is maintaining love and belief throughout it. So faith, is what it is. It doesn’t rely on anything else. We have it regardless. Otherwise what would be the point? If everything was perfect imagine what self involved shallow creatures human beings would be. We already are. Without some empathy and the circumstances to feel it we would be insufferable.

Now here is a fact. We, as a family, have had a very good year. No huge disasters. We are even financially stronger than we have been in some time. I feel guilty. I felt guilty the other day when I was on a job location and a janitor came very close to me and quietly asked if we were hiring. He quickly slipped in that he used to do the same type of work we do for a very large company. And I had to say no. He said it kind of sucks having to be a janitor after being what he was before. He’s right. I felt really bad about it. But we are a small company. We can’t afford more employees. And the reason we are doing well is because we work our asses off.  I truly worked my ass of this year. I don’t feel bad for having this blessing. I feel bad that others don’t have it as well. But he did have some work. He had an imperfect way to survive but a way all the same. And I know,

“There, but for the Grace…you know the rest…

There is something else too. I know many bloggers who write about this but I have not.

Since I was a child I have suffered from generalized anxiety that creates a mild form of OCD and cyclical depression that fluctuates approximately on a 2 to 3 year basis. When I was fifteen my parents took me took a psychologist who taught me some basic skills to deal with these problems and they actually helped. I never used medication until my late twenties and have only used them sporadically over the years when absolutely necessary. Most of the time the clues are so small you would never know. Though at some point my children did notice the six dots I make in the condensation on a bottle every time I pour soda and my husband occasionally will ask, “why are you clicking, what’s wrong?”

 Now I am the one in my family who holds everyone else together. I reassure and calm. I keep the faith. When things seem to be falling apart I’m the one chasing them around with a needle and thread saying, it will be fine, it will work out in the end.”

The strangest part about this is that when things do seem to be going well, that is when I fall apart. Because of the " BUT-what happens next.”

Earlier this year the bigger signs started. The sudden need for organization. The hand washing. The fear of pulling out in intersections, the constantly checking and rechecking my paperwork and still panicking that I missed a mistake.  The not wanting to go out. The feeling that just getting through my normal life was an overwhelming ordeal and dealing with the people around me was a crushing weight I couldn't shake off. I ignored it..cause..that's what I do..and then, a couple months ago, the tears. The despair. The knowing that even though everything was fine it will not stay that way and I couldn’t bear the thought of it. Houston, we had meltdown. Which leads my family to questions along the line of; “But you always say…”. I know, I know, but this is genetic and chemical apparently and can’t be helped.

 

The gist of this is, I had to get back on my medications. The depression seems to be under control. The anxiety is reduced-as long as I don’t think about anything very hard or very long. If I focus on my family and keep my faith I’ll be alright. If I acknowledge the blessings I have been given this year and accept that, yes, I should enjoy them when I can because they are what I have right now and we don’t know the future. BUT-that’s ok. Because my faith teaches me that love is all that is enduring. That life is not always pretty and I may have to get out my needle thread and patch things up again. It teaches me to be thankful for whatever comes my way, no matter how small or inconsequential it may seem. It teaches me that faith is not found in Big and Beautiful and Perfect. Sometimes it is found in imperfection and making do and inferiority. That Life Is Good even when it's not exactly what we would wish for.

This Thanksgiving I am Thankful that I have my family and that we will all be together for the Holidays because there is a good chance that will not happen next year. I have my faith and had some icing on my cake and a doctor to help me remember that. Plus it’s been cold and gray and drizzly all week which puts me in a wonderful mood.

 And ‘whatever happens next’ will happen, whether I like it or not. With my imperfect family I will make do with whatever inferior materials life gives me to patch things together. I still have Love and Faith for added strength and It's All Good.

Life will always show us good, even if it's hidden in unlikely places, if we recognize it and accept it for what it is.

 I think a text message from my Middlest this week sums it perfectly:

 

Mid: I just found God and I’m feeling pretty good about it.

Me: Most Awesome. Where was he?

Mid: taco bell

 

Have a Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving Everyone.

 

You know what comes next!

 

 

© 2012 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

i Didn't Do That

Ok. My last trip away was not business. It was pleasure. Not just pleasure but purely decadent, throw all cares and serious issues of this world and particularly financial issues, to the winds pleasure.

We went to Disney World.

If I'm shopping for cardboard boxes to live in next year, so be it, our kids are almost all old enough to take us in ; )

Besides, this is the year of Last and we haven't been there since Littlest was 4. It may be our last chance. So we threw senior year to the wind as well and took our baby to see Mickey. And our Biggest. Because she will never grow up and is a Disney Freak and she and DecentGuy own season tickets so we didn't have to pay for them. Our poor Middlest had to stay home and work because she is a grown up, which sucked all manner of eggs, but what can ya do?

Now, most of the time when people show off their photo's of vacations to Disney they give you a run down of all the fun activities and wonderful things they experienced. Yay!... Right?
First of all, I don't take that many pictures. I'm too busy 'doing'. And Second of all, half the ones I take don't turn out.  So I'm not gonna do that.

Instead this is a list of some of the things I Did Not Do at Disney World and I don't suggest them to you either.

We went to Hollywood Studio's and

I didn't do This

 

Rockin Roller Coaster

 

 

Or This

Tower of Terror

 

Though I spent a lot of time sitting outside them waiting for other people.

 

 

Off to Animal Kingdom where

 

I didn't do this either. Expedition Everest

BUT

I actually was going to, after much reassuring and coaxing from my family,

and was waiting for our turn. If you look closely you can see all the little people going up

 

But then something happened.

 

And I watched them walk all the little people off the top

 

So I went and looked at a duck instead.

 

My family accused me of cursing the ride so I wouldn't have to go.

I told them if that was so it was totally inadvertent.  : )

 

I also didn't go on Mission Space at Epcot but I forgot to take a picture of it because I was too busy looking through the brochure of delightful international cuisine to be found at World Village, to find out where I could get a cheeseburger.

 

All in all this is the type of attraction I visited most.

 

 

The Restroom Ride.

 

Which is where I was when everyone was on Splash Mountain and I don't have a picture.

Because I didn't do that either.

 

Just for traditions sake though, here is an obligatory picture of a parade.

 

And of the castle

 

Which was transformed into the Christmas Decorations unexpectedly while we were there.

That was pretty cool.

 

And, well, I hate to admit it, but it was magical. Because we were sprinkled with Pixie Dust and my daughters were able to go inside this; The Be Our Guest Restaurant at the Beast's Castle, which is gorgeous and not open yet and so was completely empty, and wander all around it without a crowd. Which will never happen again. And sit in The Beast's chair without a line.

Which will never happen again.

And Biggest cried.

 

 

Last of all,

 Littlest got to see the fireworks from in front of the castle.

 Which is what she wanted most.

 

And we got to have a vacation with Biggest, which hasn't happened in years.

And we were able to spend the time there with Littlest.

Which might not ever happen again.

Because she is almost grown up.

So I DID do that. 

 

And it was all totally worth the cardboard box.

© 2012 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

For Those Most Deserving

Of Honor

Of our Respect and Our Pride and Gratitude

I

Salute and Thank

our military veterans of all generations

 for their

Service and Sacrifice

to the

People of the United States

Our Freedom

And

 Freedom of others across the world.

Including my Daddy : )

Never forget the sacrifices made by our soldiers to uphold Liberty.

From missing families and missing limbs to losing their lives.

For Freedom.

© 2012 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

The Day Harry Didn't Come.

She came to me, asking, "Can you help me with my hair?"

"Of course."

She looked very neat and pretty in a striped blouse and slacks. Her makeup was lightly and neatly applied. Just a whisper of blush, a slip a frosted peach lipstick. I pulled out the brush and helped turn her bob under using a curling iron. She fussed and picked until it fell just right and I sprayed it all down with Final Net. Then she fussed and picked some more and I wandered away to let her finish. After awhile she appeared in the kitchen with her purse on her shoulder.

Have you seen Harry, she asked?

Um, no,why?

He's supposed to pick me up.
 

I don't know. I haven't heard anything. I didn't think he was coming today.

He was supposed to come and now he's late.
 

I can't help but be curious, so I ask,

Where were you going?

Oh, you know, what's it called? A touch of frustration wrinkles her forehead.

That place. That place we always go.

Oh yeah, I answer, well as far as I know he isn't coming today. Maybe we'll hear from him later.
I'm sorry.

He's probably with that woman.

I'm shocked for a moment by that brow raising statement and ask,

What woman?

You know. That one. That floozy! He's probably off traipsing around having a grand old time with that tramp!

She flops on the kitchen chair, slapping her purse down, her brow furrowed and mouth set in an angry staright line.

Oh my. This is injustice. I feel it keenly in my heart. This is not fair. It is untrue. But I can't say what's true. I can't tell her why Harry will not be arriving. She is too fragile for this news. This is something she cannot handle at this point in her life. It isn't the right time. It will never be the right time. But I can't bring myself to cause her this pain. Harry would not be coming. Harry was dead.

My husband had come in the room and was listening.

What's wrong,? he asked her.

She started to cry. Harry was supposed to come get me. We were going out and now he's not coming and I got all dressed and ready to go for nothing.

I look at my husband, helpless, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say.

He stood you up? he asked her.

Yes, she smacked her fist on the table. I was looking forward to it all week.

What a jerk, my husband exclaimed, telling you you were going out and then standing you up!

My eyes widened in shock. What on earth was he doing?

Yeah, you're right she replied angrily. He is a jerk. I bet he's with some other girl.

Seems to me you don't need a jerk like that, he said. There's plenty of other guys. Why should you care about going out with someone who would treat you that way. Forget him!

 I guess you're right, she sighed. But I really wanted to go.

Would you like to go out to the store with me in a little while, my kind husband asked my 80 year old mother, since you're already dressed?

She smiled, Sure, let's go!

Good, he smiled back, who needs Harry anyway?

 Puzzled, her face scrunched with confusion, she looked at him like he was nuts and asked,

Who the Hell is Harry?
 

Just one day in our life and one of the funny moments from the time we spent with my mother and Alzheimer's. My father, Harry, had been dead for seven years - and was never known to run around with floozies either. What he didn't know was that, for all her fussing, sometimes she would have a date with somebody else ; ) They never showed up either. Despite the  delusions  caused by her illness, she loved my father very much

My mother passed away in 2008 just two days before what would have been their 59th wedding anniversary.  I'm pretty sure he was there to pick her up : )

November is National Alzheimer's Disease Awareness Month.

For information or to help you can visit here: alz.org

Another great place for information is here: www.alzheimers.gov


Offer support however you can. Donate. Participate. Hug an Alzheimer's patient-even have a chat with them-it's an interesting place to visit ; ) And if you know a Caregiver please offer your support, and Hugs...and Chocolate....
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If I don't reply to comments right away, I didn't forget you! I'll be going out of town for a little while. I'll be able to read comments but may not be able to reply, if not, I'll catch you when I get back.
Don't forget me either...eat some blueberries or something...



© 2012 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG