Wednesday, May 29, 2013

It Will be Just Like Christmas In June!

We are down to the wire folks and I couldn't be happier. When I walked out of my high school a million years ago it never occurred to me that I would be back. And I didn't look back. Then I had kids and quite honestly did everything in my power to keep my kids out of it. At least I started Biggest there and figured it would be okay until I yanked her out five months later and home schooled her. I then started preparing the younger girls for a magnet school to avoid it and was successful until their sophomore years when the School for the Arts became an unhappy stressful environment instead of a wonderful opportunity. So. There we were. Back at 'cool' school where the Alma mater are so pleased with themselves that they throw an "all year reunion" every year because we are such a special club.  It's difficult to escape because I suspect they put a chip in your diploma that prevents you from ever leaving this town. The reunion is always packed. I never attend because I might run into someone I went to school with ; ) Out of all my highschool years I do know a few souls who escaped. Two actually made it to Broadway, two are in a cult and the other five are dead.

It isn't a bad or dangerous school. It's a ridiculous school.
 And some how by next week I will be done with it. FINALLY.

 To the place where I smoked in the locker room and wrote poetry on the bathroom stalls and fell through a crack. The place where the SeaMonkey didn't show up if there were waves and nobody cared because it's possible the teachers were at the beach too. And if anyone was stoned it didn't matter because our math teacher was stoned too and would usually send someone out for donuts.
 The place that let my Honor Roll student oldest daughter fall, not just through a crack, but through a wide gaping hole to hell. The place that ignored the documented brilliance of my middle child and would not bend a pinkie to help figure out the best way to deal with her mind, that would not fit the box, and the best course to use her talents and let her fall through the rabbit hole.(Except for her Chemistry teacher-He Was Amazing-and home schooled his own kids) And finally the place where my very strong youngest straddled the crack, despite her hung over math teacher and apathetic guidance counselors that dismissed her from being of interest when they learned she was joining the military, instead of going to college- We will gloriously say goodbye.

How's it go?

No more conferences
No more expensive year books
No more PTA's dirty looks!

Pretty sure that's it  ; )

During the next week we have-senior award night-baccalaureate- and next Monday-
And even more important-I Am Done With the PTA FOREVER! : )


So I'm little extra busy this week. I'll be dropping by blogs whenever I have a free moment.

IN NEXT WEEKS ISSUE: Sappy Graduation Post For My Wonderful Littlest!
Stay Tuned : )

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Sunday, May 26, 2013

Because It's Real

I normally post TAPS for Memorial Day. A tribute to all those who have given their lives for our country and our freedom and the freedom of others for over 200 years.
 I am the mother of a child enlisted in the Marine Corps. Delayed Entry Program and entering Recruit Training later this year in the hopes of becoming a soldier. She was in first grade when our country was attacked on 911 and that is when this journey began. I would like to take a moment from the cookouts and the parties and 'Special Sales' to especially note the soldiers who have given their lives in the most recent decades, all the way up to last week. Please take a moment to visit this site and perhaps say a little prayer for their families and our nation.


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Tuesday, May 21, 2013

At Least I Totally Won THIS Argument

I'm revisiting the past again. But this time I am going back pre-blog and kind of why I started the blog. I was going through an older email account that I rarely use and found this in my sent box.
It's from April of 2009 and may explain why I needed an outlet. I was trying to raise Middlest. You see, Because no grounding could ever hold Biggest and Littlest was obnoxious and will argue her point to the death, but ultimately remain obedient,
 Middlest IS The Original Perpetually Grounded.

The following is an email sent to and replied to by a fifteen year old Middlest. It was during the Godforsaken Twilight heyday and she had a crush on a creepy little...creep...who liked to pretend he was a vampire and wrote her long, romantic, Gothic essays of love. I particularly liked the one where he forgot to change his old girlfriends name to hers in one paragraph. You know the type.

Anyway. I was amused when I found this and hope you will be too. And of course...

I Totally Win.

What is really so great about vampires? What can vampires do? Live forever and drink blood and what.......
Some of them are snappy dressers?
Vampires smell, kind of musty.  And they can't check the mirror to see if their hair is messy or if their makeup is on straight. They suck at making breakfast.
Why do vampires make bad love interests?
A night out is no fun. They are a waste of a good meal and money at a nice restaurant. They will just sit and stare at you while you eat, so you feel like you have something on your chin. 
Vampires can't dance, they have no heartbeat so they can't keep rhythm. 
They go see all the new movies while your sleeping and then tell you the endings.
They can't go to the zoo.
They won't help with yard work because they are afraid they might impale themselves on a rake handle.
When they kiss you goodnight they leave holes, so the next day you look like you have herpes.
You hear they were seen out with another chick and they tell you it "was just dinner". But can you be sure?
You can't have a long term relationship. You start to age, but they LOOOVE YOU so they really won't risk your soul, so they just start to stay out a little later.
Vampires can't 'love physically', they just look at you all mooney. And when you start to look like their mother they get all funky about it.
Vampires are fun to watch and read about. But living with one? All that vacuuming up the coffin dirt. Having to scrape all the bat crap off the garage floor when your parents are visiting. Trying to smile and repeat once again how much you LOVE blood pudding while you're at the butchers. Oh yeah, you have to quit shaving your legs cause if you nick yourself, you might be done for. You can't snuggle with a vampire, they are too cool for that, or is it cold? Well, either way.

why vampires totally beat lame human boys
Vampires don't change. If they really love you, you can coerce them into changing you. Vampires don't sweat. Vampires don't mind freaky obsessions with "myth" because, well, they are considered fantasy. Vampires don't get confused about their emotions. Also, vampires have probably read ALOT of books and lived during a ton of really cool historic events. No more history books! Vampires can help you cheat on your math test. Were said vampire to change you, you wouldn't fall down as much. If your vampire is wearing makeup, there might be a problem, and hey, men don't fix their hair anyways.
Oh, and vampires can't die so you're not always worrying when they pull stupid stunts or that some jerk is gonna shoot them. Vampires know more than your mom and can be perfectly silent and sneak into your room after the parents are asleep so you can spend hours talking to them about everything. Vampires will not always be "too old". Eventually you catch up. Also vampires have already lived their lives a thousand times over so they can really help with little problems.
Vampires don't have to sleep, so when its two a.m. and you're being trigger happy, you have SOMEONE to talk to you and make it better. Let's not forget vampires (possibly) can read you mind so you never have to explain those annoying little things that you just don't wanna explain.
Vampires can take you anywhere really fast, for that perfect romantic date.
Vampires give a different insight into the world that will be all together refreshing.

Yeah. I Totally Won. Except for the math test part. That's a good point. But,
"Vampires know more than your mother."?
Not if they live a million years darling.. even when the names and ages and what they claim to be change over time..not in a million years. Most definitely not in four : )

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Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Re-Run. Just For Fun!

Not long after I began my blog in 2009, Biggest got married. Shortly after her wedding I created this post. I was a little nervous about it but couldn't resist.  I only had four followers and don't think anyone actually read it to begin with and at the time, no one at home knew about the blog and I figured I could always delete it if necessary. After three and half a years I find I don't really give a heck anyway. So in light of recent events in Biggests life I think it is perfectly appropriate to re-visit this topic-and add an update ; )

Some Kind of Biological Switch Flipped: Originally Published December 2009

The first thing I asked Biggest, when she told me in October that she wanted to get married around the weeks between November & December, was, are you pregnant? The answer was no, and her Guy said "no, she is marrying me for my health insurance". Really they have been together almost 4 years & were just ready to go at a time when it would suit where they wanted to go for a honeymoon after the holidays, without being during them.  They thankfully aren't in any hurry to have kids. Of course, neither were we, but there you go. Anyway.....

I have informed my children that they do not have to present me with anything for a very long time. I have been taking care of others my entire adult life. I only have 4 years to go until I am not responsible for anyone and I can't wait to not have to consult anyone's life but my husbands. And he feels the same. We have let them know that if anything happens within the next 10 ten years, baby sitting services will be limited to special occasions & illness. I refuse to raise anything else more complicated than a sea monkey. Or maybe a kitten. Those feelings may change but for now I'm standing my ground. I have, however,  thought it through to the point of setting aside some of the girls more special toys & books for my future grandkids.

On the flip side, the other Mother in Law was already thinking of grandbabies before the wedding and began on the subject during the reception. I don't grudge her that at all. The Groom is an only child. I can certainly understand her feelings. I had not met the other inlaws before Friday. They live out of town. Before I go further I want to make something very clear. They are Very Nice. I Truly Liked them Very Much. They just have slightly different hobbies than we do. That said.....

 This is just my personal feeling, I don't want to ruffle in open air loving feathers. It's any adults personal choice. But I am scared as hell of motorcycles. I have seen one in an accident. My husband borrowed one from a friend as a young man and was injured. My sister is a retired police officer and over the years filled me in on some more details. We both made sure to instill this terror in our children. I will digress to tell the story of the time Biggest had a boyfriend with a bike and avoided getting on it by telling him we would not allow it. I informed him she was 18, she could do whatever she wanted. But that's another point. Sometimes she's a wimp when she doesn't want to have a conflict with someone.

I'm getting to the point, really.

At the reception, the other mother in law was in the throes of future grandbaby passion when these words came out of her mouth.
 "Oh, and just think, and especially if it's a girl, I can get her on my bike and teach her to ride."

My brain experienced something like white static. I didn't have to bite my tongue cause I was speechless. I seriously think I felt some kind of internal switch get flipped in my head.

 (Is there such a thing as Grandmaternal instinct?)  Did she just say something about putting one of MY GRANDBABIES on a MOTORCYCLE? !!

Oh I Don't Think So!

Later that night,  Middlest mentioned that the other mother in law was really anxious for some babies.

"I know, I answered,
 But did you hear what she said about the bike." If they think anyone's putting one of MY GRANDBABIES on a MOTORCYCLE it's over my dead body!"

Middlest laughed,"Gosh Mom, what are you gonna have.. a Granny Smackdown?!
Well, possibly....

Biggest called me today worried that, 1st, her new mom in law was going to be frustrated  with the non appearance of a grandchild any time soon, and 2cd, that when there was one they might try to put it on a motorcycle. I told her to remember that this is Her life and that when she has a child it will also be Hers. Nobody, Including Me, has a say in raising it except she and her husband. Period. That when she felt strongly about something she did not have to keep the peace, but should be considerate and respectful while standing her ground.

All this "Big Ta Do" over a non existent and unplanned child.
Oh God, we really are all nuts.
And I need to ponder where that "switch" came from.

But it helps me remember that I have the most Awesome and Wonderful Mother in Law in the World. I think I will call her and tell her I Love Her right now. And Thank You. for always asking, never presuming, and watching my kids too, sometimes just for fun!


Last week Biggest called. She said: I have a migraine.

She told me Decent Guys Mom and Step dad drove up and descended on them for the weekend, ready for an epic baby shopping spree. Biggest is still in her first trimester. Her mother in law proceeded to list everything she wanted to get. Persisted in rubbing Biggest stomach and announced to the hostess at a restaurant that Biggest was "carrying her grandchild." If you've been around here long enough, you know Biggest. You can imagine how well that went over.

A few days later Biggest was visiting me. She was complaining that she tried to tell her mother in law that it is still very early and she isn't ready to start buying things yet. She wants to wait a little while and make sure all is well and take her time and she wants to pick things out herself to make sure it's stuff she likes.. Her mother in law just didn't get it.

I told her to be patient. Her MIL is just excited. After all, I've had a few day dreams about little plaid skirts and maryjanes-possible little league games-snuggling up with somebody to read Peter Rabbit....
I told her: "Don't hurt her feelings, she just wants to help."

Biggest looked at me with fire in her eyes.
She won't stop.
 She 's showing me onesies with Harley Davidson on them saying," Isn't this cute?"
No! No It Is Not Cute!

Uh Oh. What was that click?

Oh I Don't Think So................

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Saturday, May 11, 2013

What Mothers Day Means To Me

Of course it is a time for relaxing and goodies and getting my also is a time to remind me. It makes me remember that I have something precious. I have given birth. I have raised three beautiful young women each other names and get in slap fights...but who also encourage and support each other.  Are there for each other. Know how to communicate to each other. Strong and women who are smart and capable and creative

and...and...something else....

Encouraging Message from Littlest to Middlest.

Thank God They Are Mine : )

Happy Mothers Day To Me!



May your children be as goofy as you trained them to be : )

Now start training for Sunday: On Your Couch, Get Comfy, RELAX!

You know the drill.

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Monday, May 6, 2013

I Built This Castle

TO: You Know Which Daughter You Are.

I've been shoring up your walls so long
You hammer a beat to your own song.

I labored for this strong and tall
To make certain that you'd never fall.
When you stray I call you back
I fill another gaping crack.
Find tumbled stones, how did I miss?
And wonder how it came to this.

As soon as my back is turned
You forget all you've learned.

Marauders come to pillage and break
Then toss away the treasures they take.
I grab a shovel and dig a moat.
Somehow they will find a boat.
My arrows ready, I will shoot
Pull weeds out at the root

Behind a wall of gracious deeds
Smiling, you plant more seeds.

I lug some wood to prop things straight
Rebuild what I might create
Whitewash splashed on the wall
Excuses made to explain a fall
All this to postpone the fear
Of losing what I hold so dear.

With no regard to what I say
You gladly let it crumble away.

I ponder and wonder day and night
How I didn't get it right
I laid the plans and followed through
Knew exactly what to do
To accomplish this great endeavor
A master work to last forever

Deep inside the truth is known
You chip away at your own stone.

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