Friday, March 15, 2013

When i wasn't stopping

I wrote some poetry
about time and change
on a yellow legal pad
because it was close at hand
but I can't remember the words. or rather.
I can't read my handwriting.
and then i forgot what it says
I think it was about making time.
Paying close attention.
So you don't forget.
This was about memories.
I was watching.
But i wasn't stopping.
I had to move on.
 So it's lost.
Except for this.
We worry the journey
like a stone in hand
and disregard the ones dropped
through a hole in our pocket
Meant for safekeeping
No time to look behind
we run the risk
that we cannot see the moments
For the life.


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Tuesday, March 12, 2013


On our recent trip I realized something. Though part of the thrill of getting away is 'getting away', at the same time I tremendously enjoyed my family while I was gone. We were in constant communication and without the distraction of chores not finished and life choices to lecture about I recalled that, Hey, I like these people. I'm glad they're mine. And though we may each in our own ways leave physically we are intertwined. Inextricably linked.

First of all I had a wonderful time. We knew Newfound Gap had collapsed and we couldn't drive all the way across the Smokies but we assumed we could get to a few spots. well. Nope.
The snow and ice shut down the TN side of Great Smoky Mountain Nat. Park.

But that's ok. You tell a Grounded they can't drive up there and they say,
 "Oh Yeah? Well screw that."
 We'll walk.

and we did.

This is the view from my favorite rock on a snowy day.
It wasn't a huge amount of snow but it was more than enough to make me happy.
We did some great hiking and my muscles gave me a stern reminder that I'm usually a flat lander but the peace it gave me was worth it in every way.
Like in the Creed it, Restoreth My Soul.
Those are the words.
By coincidence while we gone Biggest and Littlest did a little traveling too. Lit went on a field trip to Sea World with her Science class. She was planning to spend the night before at a friends house and with Middlest being on the watch list we told her not to tell Mid she would be gone all night until the last minute. I figured she's notice Littlest wasn't home on a school night by about ten thirty or eleven, at least before she went to bed and would be looking for her by then or that Littlest would send her a message letting her know around that time, therefore thwarting attempts to break rules. But Littlest didn't send her message. And Middlest came home from work and was really tired and fell asleep on the couch about eight thirty. So she didn't realize Littlest wasn't home until she woke up at two in the morning and Lit wasn't there. Luckily Lit only had to be up at 5 AM so she and her friend were wide awake and able to tell Middlest she was alright. Mid was livid. we apologized. We didn't laugh. ok..not much anyway...because now she knows what it feels like, etc... so anyway..
Before we left we talked to the girls about getting along. We didn't want the usual calls in the middle of huge brawls and explained there would be no fighting. "Do Not Fight With Each Other!, we said.
and Middlest said, I won't fight with her if she isn't being a bitch..and Lit said..i'm not a bitch, you act like a bitch..and Mid said, You're always a bitch..and Lit said...only when you're acting like a our worries because of Middlest bad judgement the last time we left, she behaved admirably.  Littlest did not have to put her in a headlock and lock her in a shed. Though I did receive one shrieking phone call, but once I got past my panic and got Mid to make sense, I learned that Littlest had her locked in a closet and wouldn't let her out until she drank spinach yeah...anyway..
Littlest went to Sea World. While she was there I received the following texts.
Where are the SeaLions?...because you know...I'm in charge of Sea Lions...
and 'SeaWorld is a lie, btw. To which I replied, "Don't tell Mid that. She'll jump off a cliff."
She sent: There are no orca's. it's a lie. They don't have them open to the public except one show a day. It's all Orca merchandise and no f#%$@ Orca's.
To which I replied, Watch your mouth.
And she sent: THE WHALE IS A LIE.
Later she sent: I yelled at a Sea Lion. I also yelled at a String Ray.
I said, did it yell back? so ok....anyway...she bought Mid an Orca to make up for scaring her...because I told her to...
on the same day Biggest suddenly decided to go to Disney World. Unfortunately the little kitty she raised from birth developed a serious virus and despite rigorous treatment for over two weeks nothing could be done. She was devastated and decided Disney might cheer her up.
Mid sent a text: Biggest ran away. I don't know if she's coming back.
In the meantime Biggest was sending me pictures of herself wearing a wart hog hat and later she sent this:
I'm in storytime with Belle!!!!
I'm the oldest person here!!!!
hmmm...yeah. I told Mid. She's in Disney. She'll be fine.
Mid: I know but I think she's lost it.
Me: She'll be fine.
Later Biggest told me she couldn't stop grieving and was thinking of adopting a special needs kitty.
I told Mid: You're right. She's lost it.
Poor Middlest was the only one who didn't have fun that week. On Sunday I told her, The Seamonkey had gone for a walk but I was sitting in front of the fire drinking tea because I felt like someone beat me about the knees with a baseball bat. She replied, "I feel the same way. I sat for 45 minutes in the same position holding an eighty lb. Golden. I couldn't walk for 20 minutes.
I sent: Awww. I hiked for six miles up a mountain in 32 degree weather....and then went shopping.
No reply? Of course not. Because obviously I Win...anyway...Middlest was amusing herself by sending me pictures of kitties from work and I was sending her pictures at snow. At one point she sent this message:
"Wow. are yall gonna get trapped up there and never come back? I don't think Biggest is ever coming back. And the Marines are gonna take Littlest. and I'll be all alone."
No, we didn't get trapped. And Biggest came back. And the Marines might take Littlest but it doesn't really matter. None of us will ever really be alone. It doesn't matter where we go or how long we are gone. We are inextricably linked. We are a family. And we love each other...
even if so and so's a bitch...
and spinach juice is gross ..
and some people wear funny hats...
and Shamu is a lie.
In other news, I came home to go to work-go directly to work-and Saturday afternoon when I was finally off and thought I could re-relax, Littlest came home from Jiu Jitsu class and held up a very swollen hand and asked, "Does this look bad? I heard it pop but it didn't hurt so I kept on sparring."
Orthopedics here we come
cause I'm right back where I started from
Work all week there's no more play
Cause I live in a fray-ay-ay!

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