Monday, September 12, 2011

Something's Missing...Happens When There Is A Screw Loose Somewhere

So. Middlest had her Wisdom teeth taken out. I always thought that meant just extracting some extra teeth but I'm starting to wonder.

 She no longer had coverage so we paid for it. It Was Very Expensive.  She came home and lay around on the couch and acted like she was dying and left messes wherever she roamed. Middlest is messy. Not just a little messy. I've given her a break about on my blog so far but she is Ridiculous messy. No threat or punishment has ever curbed it.

When she grew up a couple weeks ago she was told our house rules for adults. Keep your room clean. Pick up after yourself around the house.  We will let you ease into the next level. At our house if you choose to skip the extended childhood option and not continue your education, you are expected to take on all of your own living expenses. We told her to continue to keep up her end of the chores around here and we would pay for her phone for awhile and she didn't have to pay rent-YET, so that she could continue to save money. We live in biking distance of her job and she could do that till she had enough for a car. Just don't be a slob and we are all good.
 The day after her surgery she was lying around on the couch all day watching TV and dying behind a landfill on the coffee table. I didn't harass her because I knew she wasn't feeling great. Her pain pills kicked in and she decided she felt better. And her friend was having a party that night. So she was going to go. I mentioned that she was supposed to take it easy. She said she was going crazy and needed to get out. Ok. "If you have problems with healing you are on your own."

Later her dad came in and when he went to her room to tell her to pick up the empty pudding cup and spoon he found on the table in the entryway she was not there. Her room, however, was. And so was the two feet of crap thrown all over the floor and a collection of dirty glasses, etc, etc. When I told him she went to a party he went a little ballistic. Because you see, she was dying and couldn't clean up but she was up for a party. Not to mention, not following the dentists orders after we paid for it. So he gave her a call and said as much. He told her if she couldn't have the courtesy to take proper care of herself after we spent a fortune on her mouth to help her and couldn't even be bothered to pick up after herself she needed to move out.

And she said, 'fine' and he said, 'fine' and she said, 'fine' and he said 'fine' and then....

Biggest called.

She said, "What is going on here? I want to hear the whole story before I make up my mind!"

So I told her. And she said: "She can live with us if she wants but I told her if she wanted to we need to talk now and she started telling me she was at a party and didn't want to leave and I told her we would pick her up and would talk about it Now or Not At All.  So, she said that was fine and we are picking her up. I don't know if she realizes what I will expect but she will soon"
She told Mid:
You WILL pick up after yourself.
You WILL help with household cleaning.
You WILL scrub your room before you leave. You aren't leaving Mom and Dad with that mess.
You WILL NOT have anyone over after ten.
You WILL NOT have anyone in my house when we are not here.
You WILL learn to take the bus.
You WILL look for a second job because you don't make enough to get by.
You WILL contribute to groceries and be responsible for your own extras. And..
You WILL pay $100.00 a month in rent-to start.

"Or You Are Out. The End. No Excuses because I don't put up with any crap and I will throw you out!"

And Mid said, "ok"


She came home the next day and cleaned the room. (Which is what we wanted to begin with) and packed her stuff and moved in with Biggest and DecentGuy.

So now she is paying rent to have the same rules she had here plus a few and be farther away from work.
Not to mention she has to live with Biggest who is an insane neatness freak and makes their Dad look like ...I don't know...a bunny?.... when it comes to enforcement. She also doesn't have cable tv or internet.

The SeaMonkey said,
  "I didn't mean she Had to move out. All she had to do was clean her room."
Littlest said,
 "Awesome! I don't have to look at her mess anymore and she won't eat all the food before I get any!"

I said.....ok......

Conversations with my daughters over the past week.

Biggest: I have an eight year old with the priviliges of an 18 year old living in my house.
             She really doesn't get it.
             Are you sure there isn't something wrong with her? (No)
             We put fresh batteries in our smoke alarms. (Good Thinking)   
             We were outside and I was giving her advice and she didn't hear any of it. She just sat there
              and stared at the moon.

Me: I told you so.

Middlest: I love it here! I can see dolphins.
               I painted my room green!
               I bought candles!
               We sat outside and watched the moon : )

Me:  Did you get a chance to come by today and use the computer like you wanted?

 Mid: No. Biggest made me stay here all day and clean.

Littlest:  Look! There is still a whole box of cereal!! Hey! I can watch whatever I want on TV!

Me:  Don't get too happy. Now we have no one else to focus on but you.

Lit: I give it a week, maybe two, until Biggest sends her back.

We shall see. Of course I really shouldn't be surprised. Afterall, I saw it coming.
Middlest moving out? No, not that............

                                                                                                                                                    © 2011 All Rights Reserved

Moon Music

(We seem to be starting a theme within a theme here)

For those of you that don't speak Byrne:

Watch out you might get what you're after
Cool babies strange but not a stranger
I'm an ordinary guy
Burning down the house

Hold tight wait till the party's over
Hold tight We're in for nasty weather
There has got to be a way
Burning down the house

Here's your ticket pack your bag: time for jumpin' overboard
The transportation is here
Close enough but not too far, Maybe you know where you are
Fightin' fire with fire

All wet hey you might need a raincoat
Shakedown dreams walking in broad daylight
Three hun-dred six-ty five de-grees
Burning down the house

It was once upon a place sometimes I listen to myself
Gonna come in first place
People on their way to work baby what did you except
Gonna burst into flame

My house S'out of the ordinary
That's right Don't want to hurt nobody
Some things sure can sweep me off my feet
Burning down the house

No visible means of support and you have not seen nuthin' yet
Everything's stuck together
I don't know what you expect starring into the TV set
Fighting fire with fire

Burning down the house

Whoa.......Where did all these spoons in the silverware drawer come from.........?

UPDATE: 9:00 AM Mid just called me and said she was coming by today. She needed to pick up her bike and her Social Security card...oh....and have a bowl of cereal....


  1. Aww....such a sweet post. Funny too, but mostly sweet. I have TWO slobs. Granted, the boy slob is worse than the girl slob, but they're both pretty bad. I just went ballistic over my car being used as a trashcan. And I'm afraid to walk back to their rooms because I know I'll lose my temper and go insane.

    Good for you and your husband for sticking to your rules and not making exceptions. I agree with Littlest though - I bet she'll be back in a couple of weeks!

  2. I just love reading your posts, because biggest, middlest and littlest and even sea monkey for that matter sound just like my family only the opposite sex (well except for sea monkey of course)

    Cracks me up because your middlest sounds just like my middle mm and oddly my eldest mm is the one who gave me immense grief as a teenager yet he's the one who lectures middle mm.

    Just cracks me up :-)

  3. Her life is entertaining for us. This will be very interesting to see how this all plays out. And I know exactly what you mean about the expense of the wisdom teeth. Same boat for my son come December. I'm saving pennies like crazy!

  4. Don't you kinda think she'll be back before too long, by the way?

  5. LOL! I read this at work and was laughing my head off, but couldn´t comment, because I can´t enter blogs (I read it in my reader). Anyhow it was so funny to me because you could be writing about MY youngest!! She is such a slob and soooo very much like your daughter. And she´s already 22 and an RN. WHAT do I do? I have no idea. I´ve completely given up and just hope someday she will get married and her husband will have to deal with her. hahaha

  6. Kids. They come. They go. Growing up is hard to do. (Hard to do if you're a parent that is.) Oddly my son was always the neatnick and my daughter the slob. They have reversed roles as adults, but no longer my problem! Hah!

    Kids do need time to grow up. My housekeeper's daughter is nearly 21. I gave her $60 to house sit and keep the cat company for 2 nights. There was food and drink aplenty here in the house. She spent the entire $60 on junk food while we were gone. I would have eaten what was in the frig and used the money for something else. Grow up Darling!

  7. Sounds just like my older daughter and her younger sister. And the younger sister did move in with the older during college years, along with one of the kids we had taken in as a teenager. The oldest kept them all in line. Complaints? Sure! But they toed the line. Funny what they will take from each other that they won't take from a parent! (And afterward think that the parents were great!) Isn't life grand?

  8. No offense, but I LOVE hearing other people having the same battles I had. Makes me not feel so alone. Too bad I didn't know you 10-20 years ago, we could have shared notes.

  9. MDSA: I had to tell her today to come clean out what I call 'the art room' where she had sketch books piled up and I don't want to think about what she has stuffed in the cabinets. She is a bull headed child so we shall see!

    Fi:It's so funny isn't it, the wild ones turning strict. We always say that when she has kids they won't be allowed to move! I sometimes wonder if I actually have girls so that makes perfect sense : )

    blueviolet: It depends on how long it takes her to drive her sister up the wall. I confess to feeling kind of light and floaty myself ; )

    Betty:Your comment made me because we always joke about my oldest's husband having to deal with her and now he has Both of Them! Poor guy : )

    Linda: You just completely cracked me up because when I used to leave my Mother in Law with the kids she WOULD DO THE SAME THING!

    Elizabeth: You are exactly right about what they will take from each other. Grand Indeed!

    Ms.A: No offense at all! I put it out there hoping I'm not alone. Notes would have been good because there certainly are days when I think I failed this test : )

  10. oh MY. getting to this a tad later than i thought...

    so much i want to say here but i will leave it and just confess that i am (not so) secretly just dying to see how this plays out....

  11. Elissa: I confess I have no idea and Me Too!

    Ed: Thanks Ed. I'm sure it will eventually. It's the muddling through the 'until' that wears me out.

  12. Oh, I saw the cereal bowl thing coming.

    She'll be back, I don't think oldest will be able to take the mess. SEriously. BUT in the meantime, midd she will be good as living with you, you know.

    And this separation? She will fall in love with you all over again.

  13. Isn't it funny how they behave differently with anyone who is not their parent? I guess it doesn't end in teenagehood :).

  14. Wow, just wow. You told this one well. I imagine this is my future. I have two kids who can not, will not under any threat, be tidy. When I say no to the can I go to.... because their rooms are awful, they complain about my rules, hide in their rooms, and don't clean them anyway. The number of times I've done it "with" them, taken polaroids to illustrate what clean or tidy looks like, is too many to recall. The half life of a clean room is about a day.
    I have kids that I love dearly, but they make me crazy. It's an ADD aspergers/OCD Type A house here and it's just crazy. I think I gave up years ago and am just recognizing it. I'm still fighting the homework, sleep and nutrition battles, but results are mixed.
    I guess congrats are in order for middlest taking the big step, wonder how long it will last? And littlest might just like getting all the attention, you never know. They all have to grow up some day, don't they?
    Best wishes with all of it. :)

  15. I LOVE Bat Girl cracking the neatness whip. It's the big version of Eve feeding that baby and bitching about the mess: "This baby is horrifying! Wait, was I like this when I was little?" I'm a medium slob, and I lost everything I touched when I was younger (I'm a TEENy bit better now) so I don't have much of a leg to stand on with my kids - but I fake it well. :)

  16. Biggest is quite the sport to take on her sister as a roomie. If middlest is the tornado of mess that my daughter is, she will be back on your doorstep in days rather than weeks.

  17. Alexandra: You are right about it being as good as living with me. It's kind of like she has been sent out with training wheels. I would be way more worried if she was with friends.

    Peryl: That is true! She said herself that she thought she would be more responsible if she couldn't fall back on us.

    Mel: She has always been the same way. She would rather take her punishment than do the work. I haven't said it directly yo Littlest yet but I was the last one left at home in my family and it really Was Awesome : )

    Bibliomama: I think I have actually heard the words 'babies are horrifying' come out of Bat Girls mouth! Mid has lost so many things over the last 18 years that I could retire in The Riviera on the money I spent. But I will take that as a good sign for how she will turn out : )

    DG: What is it with the messy girls? My room was so neat as a girl *snort* ; )So far Mid is hanging in there. With Biggest you don't take the chance!

  18. *slapping my hand on the table* rotfl!!!!!my oldest is freaking nasty!!! Her room is disgusting. I use to have her clean up every weekend and after she cleaned I'd go do an inspection. When i stopped all help broke loose. I treaten to take her phone and then she'll clean up. a little bit. My son isn't nasty but what ever he does you can trace his every step because he's left a mess behind. I'm hoping to send him with biggest one day soon and we'll just have littest to focus on. LOL so funny how shed rather pay to do the same thing she's suppose to do at home. I can't wait to see if she comes back.

  19. Nicole: I'm still trying to figure out how that makes sense! So far she is doing good. She found a second job and she's really trying. It might do her some good

  20. Its hard, we want them to grow up but want to protect them too. They just think we're trying to be the boss of them. We all figure it out eventually.

  21. Mrs. Tuna: You are right. I just can't figure out why anyone would want Biggest to be the boss of them ; )


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