I posted my moon music early because my family started celebrating the full moon last week. They have been crying for 10 days straight. Sometimes taking turns. Sometimes in groups. Reaching their peak on Monday, which is when all of them cried. By 8:30 am I was picking up two daughters. One who walked out on her job and the other from school. At the end of the day Littlest came home and said "oh, I cried today too. But they're used to me at my school." What are they crying about? Let's see.
Biggest: Just can't stop crying. She said everything was making her cry. She left work early twice last week and on Monday she walked in to work and noticed her schedule had changed and became hysterical. She doesn't really know why. Maybe it's because she's reached the ripe old age of 23 and hasn't been to Africa yet. This has been a dream of hers since she was around 9 and wanted to be Jane Goodall when she grew up. Luckily her employers are the kindest, most understanding people I can imagine and they love her. They said come back when you're ok. They are awesome.
Littlest: Is over stressed at her school. She says she started crying because she had to write an essay on a life changing event and she just couldn't think of anything to write. Obliviously she hasn't been to Africa either. Her day begins at 5:30 am. She is on a bus at 7. She steps off the bus at 4:30 in the afternoon. She has 5 core courses and 3 intensive writing courses that expect written work at the same time. She hysterically told me that the school was killing her and she just couldn't do it. I said, "You can leave. It's ok. Your sister left and you can go to the same school as her." But No. She refuses to go to the regular high school because it "sucks". She hates the people that go there. So apparently there is no solution. Why does she hate the idea of that school so much? Here's why.
Middlest: Cried because the dog ripped a hole in her jeans and because she tried to get a water out of the machine at school and got an orange juice instead. She cried because like every year she was anxious for school to start. She was ready to start fresh and she didn't even have to go to Africa. She bought brightly colored pretty clothes. She had a very positive attitude.
Middlest tends to be a target. It doesn't make much sense. I'm going to be straight up about the things kids pick on each other for. She looks like an average teen girl. I think she is an attractive girl. She wears decent clothes and nothing that stands out for attention. She is very smart but not at all a geeky I love my A's type. She is very talented, but humble about it and acknowledges and admires students who are more skilled than herself. What is it? Possibly this.
She is willing to be herself and that person is not afraid to be goofy. She is not embarrassed to be herself even when she is breaking out, or wearing her glasses, or feels like singing out of tune out loud or dancing in the rain in the school courtyard. She does not conform to the mold." And that is unforgivable. I don't know why she let's them intimidate her but they do.
Last week it was time for school clubs to begin. Middlest has avoided the clubs because she never felt comfortable with the kids in them. This year they started a club that is based on Challenge Day. Check the link if you aren't familiar with it. It's about trying to teach teens to be more understanding of each others differences. Build a bridge so to speak. You don't have to cross it but at least respect it. Middlest has always thought Challenge Day was kind of cool and she thought she would check out the club and that it would be interesting to help organize the event this year. When she came home I asked her how it went.
"I didn't go to that one"
"Why not, I think you would be good at it?"
"I looked in the door and it was all the people who have been picking on me and making my life miserable for the past two years."
"Well, that seems like people who need to be involved with it. You should go and give it a chance. Isn't that the whole purpose?"
" I don't want to be around them. They are all the girls who don't like me. They talk about me and make fun of me"
"If they are there maybe they are growing up a little bit and are making changes in their lives. Wouldn't this be the perfect opportunity to fix this problem and maybe make some new friends?"
"They don't really care about it Mom. They are only there because it looks good on their college apps."
Yes. I see. I feel a little bit like crying too.
P.S. I am completely aware that this post is rambling and kind of pointless but I am under a busy schedule and big work load right now with about 5 minutes of free time each day. Between that and navigating the puddles from the meltdowns, I simply needed a vent.
This post has been edited. If the early comments seem strange it is because I posted a photo of Middlest with the question "can you see the target painted on this girl?" for a few hours but didn't want to leave it up very long as it breaks my blogging rules. I just couldn't resist the temptation ; )
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