What Am I Doing Here?

I've learned a lot in the last three months.

1.I really am a dork.
2.That's O.K. with me.

  In a way I'm still just getting started.  Now that I may have lured some of you in with my festive Holiday banner I hope I don't scare you.  Along with the fun stories I will be including some stories that I  never expected to be the one telling, but that every parent should probably hear.  We have dealt with some difficult things. Many people have dealt with way worse. But maybe someone will learn they're not alone and what your kids do is not always a reflection on you as a parent. I had to wait for mine to grow up before I knew that for sure. That is why I'm here.
 
When my oldest was little she was so easy that I could smugly think,

"this parenting stuff is a cinch, I must be really good at it. Gee, we should have more kids."

Then she turned 14 and gave us the biggest sucker punch of all time.  You see, I have been that mom with an "idyllic" life. And during that time at the back of my mind, so rare it was easily ignored, very tiny but just occasionally discernable was the thought, "This is too good. When is that anvil going to fall out of the sky."  Well it did. We have and continue to face challenges with bull headed daughters. The truth is I actually like us more now.

 I don't know why our story is what it is. I can only tell it and share my feelings about it. There are stories too close to my heart to take out, but whatever I share here is openly talked about by my family with people we know and nothing that the kids wouldn't share. ( And possibly have on their "Face/Space.") I do try to keep our identity hidden for the sake of privacy . If you happen to recognize us you either know us well enough to know the facts or you don't really know us and you should know the facts.
  Plus the kids writing teachers have always looked at me kind of strange. God knows what they are writing about me!

  
Anyway.... Over the years I have read expert advice on teen problems out the wazoo. Time and again I have gone to the internet looking, looking ....for what. Some one in the same boat. I know they're out there, but really hard to find.   Parents who really care and attempt to do "all the right things" and find out it is really lonely out there when your kid is the one who is losing their way.  Those times when you just want to hide because the world you live in doesn't fit this scenario and everyone looks at you first for an explanation. And you don't have one.

As I am stumbling my way through understanding groups and communities I often come by listings,  where someone has created a title and thats it. Did they stumble in look around and think "I'm in over my head" and ditch. Unlike myself, who thought, "I'm in over my head" and then said "so what"? Were they in the same boat, the leaky one?
  I haven't "gone there" too much yet. Starting my blog in October I wasn't really thinking about the Holidays coming up & then Biggest's  happy news. Plus my kids have been ruining my M.O. by being exceptionally good. I should have had a blog ten years ago! I am actually blessed with having very good relationships with my daughters. We butt heads but we talk a lot. They know I really do know everything yet Middlest will see how far she can push sometimes just to prove she can. Littlest actually said the other day that she didn't think she could get in real trouble because she would feel too guilty. (Born 30, she has the strangest ideas for a kid) It's her mouth and temper that usually get her in trouble. And then they are grounded and everyone is satisfied and we can all go back to reading our books.

It is possible to have so much to say that you don't know where to start..... or finish. I have 8 unfinished drafts I am trying to organize in to, well....something organized.

But right now, it's tea time.


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