Sunday, January 31, 2010

10 Happy Things!

Susan at  Susan Fobes' Family Formula  has tagged me for a 10 things that make me happy meme. This is a good day to complete it because I am ready to sell my kids to gypsies for a couple of reasons and need to focus on the positive.
It actually was a nice list of little everyday things to reflect on.

1. Falling asleep with my husband on one side and my cat on the other to keep me warm. My husband just looked over my shoulder and said " Thanks for putting me on the same level as the cat, so I have to add: Wonderful husband who just worked on my back muscles for me so that I could sit here & finish!

2. Biggest, My oldest daughters' smile. It is a Wondrous and Magical thing that can tranform the world around her.

3. Middlest, Her love of reading and the joy it brings me as she gets older sharing my favorites with her and passing on the books my mother passed to me and finding we all have the love for them in common.

4. Littlest, especially when she is wearing a hat. And her bone crushing hugs and sense of humor.

5. What it Feels Like to sit on a big rock, near a river, deep on a mountain. When I can close my eyes and hear nothing but the water, feel the cool air rise to my face and smell the green around me.

6. Sad  Music. Strange but simply true.

7. Big,  Noisy,  Dumping Rain Thunder Storms.

8. Reading a good book during a big, rainy, noisy thunderstorm. With a cat on my feet and cup of tea in my  lap.

9. A  Photo of my Dad peeking out between balloons and grinning during one of his birthdays.

10. Finding a $20.00 rebate coupon for Olay Regenerest Micro Sculpting Cream. It was like digging for and finding a pot of gold!

This is a Pass The Happy Along meme so I am tagging the following: If you're not here but would be Happy if you were, let me know and I'll catch you next time or just help yourself anyway!

Raising Complicated Kids
Help! Mama Remote...
Farmers Wife
Good Girl Gone Redneck
Living, Loving, Laughing
My Kids Might Be Martians
Coloring Outside The Line
Generation X Mom
Simply Dawn Un-Leashed

Ok, This has taken me a long time because I have to keep getting up and stretching. So I have to stop before I visit and tag everyone and start some dinner, Mmm, pot roast...that is a Happy Thought!

Alright I'm back.  I had to do something I have been avoiding all day and take something for my back. I am off to tell everyone in the list above I tagged them. If I leave you something drooling or nonsensical please forgive me....or if I run out of steam I will finish that tomorrow.

© 2010 All Rights Reserved

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Letter

Lets start at the ending, A might as well place to start.....

  When Biggest reached adulthood she wrote us a letter. We had told her that if we made mistakes that contributed to her problems as a teenager we were sorry, we had always done what we thought was best for her. This was her response. It is our single most precious possesion. Besides the girls themselves of course.  It was the most emotional moment I had experienced since the night a couple years before when the news began with "It is 10:00 PM, do you know where your children are and who they are with?" And I burst into tears because the answer was Yes.

Following are excerpts from the letter, Don't mind the Ya'll, it was a stage.

"I know I've pulled a lot of stunts and I'm sure I'll have more, but thanx for always being there, and I'm sorry for those stunts. I know I put Ya'll through a lot"
"I know you think you did some things wrong when I was growing up and I guess you felt you had a little to do with my problems-but you didn't, nothing is your fault.

If I aplogize for everything it will take a book so I hope you know all the things I did I'm sorry for and thankful that Ya'll still talk to me, and most of all I love you very much.

"P.S.  Mom I broke your nice red pen writing this, for that I am sorry.... I hid it in the couch.(Happy face drawing)" ( Who does this kid take after : )? )

We were young parents but unlike you might suspect, parents who were not responsible enough, we were over responsible. We were crazed "create a perfect environment for our child" parents. Maybe we should have just relaxed and had a few beers.

In retrospect this is our opinion of things we might have handled differently.

What we did wrong:

1.Overprotecting. I don't mean mean not letting her play with others or participate in sports. We sheltered her a great deal when she was little. We were determined to not let modern culture spoil our childs innocence but it caused her to be out of loop in social situations. As an already critically shy child it singled her out and gave other kids ammunition for teasing. In a less shy and  more socially confident child it may not have been as big a deal. I still believe in careful monitoring but relaxed my somewhat over the top standards with the other girls, staying involved and drawing lines and discussing things I find inappropriate. 
  Also really paranoid worry. We did not let her go on out of town field trips with school ( These were school rewards for honor roll and serving as a patrol.) and would not consider letting her go to the Arts magnet schools our other daughters later attended because it would involve a long bus ride into the city. Yeah, that bad. 3 of her best friends from elementary school attended them and excelled. This is almost unforgivable. She not only was separated from good friends with a common interest, she was/is a terrific writer. We were idiots.

That didn't work.

2. Panic:  During middle school she did continue to excel but began to have more social problems with the group she belonged to. We were still more strict than most of her friends parents. I will tell specifics of what happened with her in another post but when we first saw signs of real rebellion the 1st year of high school we panicked. This behavior change was so uncharacteristic and extreme and the change so sudden. (Within a period of 3 months) we cracked down hard, all at once. Tightened up more. But, she had learned the game of "Oh, you think that's bad, watch this". So..

That didn't work.

3. Yanking her out of school and sending her to her Grandparents for a couple months, and setting up to homeschool for the next two years to get her away from her new friends worked temporarily. But while it is not illegal for your child to disobey you, walk out or outright run away, It is illegal to imprison them in your home so ultimately......Yeah,

That didn't work.

4. Using bribery to get her to counseling and try to find out what was wrong. That worked long enough for her to play some games, practice manipulation skills and tell them she was fine and explain she didn't believe in using drugs (legal ones anyway) to alter her emotions, and a lot of other bull until she got what she wanted. So really,

That didn't work.

There are many things we did over the years to try to fix the problem. Ultimately, in this case it was a situation that could only fix itself, in time, when she was ready to remember who she was and relax her own standards for herself that she could not live up to, and to use the self confidence she had gained by false means, in a way that was true to her heart and her real nature. She had created an alter ego that was very extreme and fed by substance abuse in order to overcome her fears and find power.  There were several different factors.  Besides the bullying issues she faced  that began the domino effect, in her later teens she was able to identify that she had a real anxiety disorder. Apparently, from what we can tell, her extreme shyness and attachment to me made the normal response of trying to separate from parents and begin to grow on your own turn drastic. She had to violently separate herself from us and all that we stood for.  The friends she made reinforced this behavior. She fell in with a group that new all the tricks to causing chaos in a household.  ( The funny side, if there is such a thing is "that didn't really work" either. She is still a Mama's & Daddies girl, her poor husband!). Another possible factor was that she had been an eerily good child. We seldom had to discipline her and the natural reward of how people treat you for good behavior made her a little spoiled.  When she 1st started having consequences it was almost like she couldn't believe things weren't going her way, she didn't have a correlation and it really made her angry.  And we figured out  that she also suffered from severe PreMenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. This disorder when mixed with alcohol abuse resulted in her behavior becoming extremely violent and she made verbal threats to kill herself and us. This made it  necessary to call in law enforcement for a Baker Act on two occasions. On one of these occasions earlier in the day she actually agreed on me taking her myself rather than call the police. They would not accept her because she said she didn't want to kill herself while she was there. That was a fun weekend. The second time they said she had a .08 alcohol level, that was probably all it was, she needed rehab. They ignored our pleas that she was behaving abnormally while sober too. Rehab only works if you want to be there. She didn't. When I later discussed it with her she saw the correlation between the drinking while having a bad menstrual cycle herself and we all learned to recognize the signs when she was feeling out of control and leaning toward a binge.
In her own words: "I drank because I could talk to people when I was drunk, I wasn't afraid." She still struggles with perfectionism and anxiety when she can't control a situation. She has learned to recognize it for what it is and is working through that.

  It is really almost surreal when I think of her change from one person into another, and I do mean a person who did not resemble my child in any way, and then back into the first person.
  An illustration of that  happened recently. A few years ago this was a girl who ripped the phone out of the wall when we tried to call 911. Once she was walking to a convenience store late at night and was accosted by a man who tried to push her against the wall. She pulled a knife on him, backed him down and told him she was going to kill him, and he left.
  The same girl was married recently. She needed to change her name on her ID. She doesn't drive but works a block away from the DMV. She insisted that I drive her there. Her new husband had asked her to keep her middle name instead of her maiden name on her ID. She didn't really want to but decided it didn't matter. I don't really get it but my husband did the same thing and so did I, so whatever. Anyway, while we were waiting she told me I had to stand at the counter with her when they called her up. I said, "no I'm not doing that, you're a grownup." We went back and forth about it. She would'nt let it go and I finally agreed. I knew why I didn't want to walk up.  I had cried a little bit at her wedding but it didn't really seem real.  As we approached the counter I had to suck it up.  It felt like this was the moment I was truly giving my daughter away.  She was losing our name. She didn't fully belong to us any more. If walking up there with her seemed weird it was bad enough, but I was praying the clerk wouldn't look at my face and see me welling up.  And then I realized.....why she wanted me... standing there.

© 2010 All Rights Reserved

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Guest Post by Littlest

I am unfortunately being cursed with a back spasm that goes full throttle if I sit at the computer more than 5 minutes and Littlest has volunteered to contribute. She wrote this as an assigment for school, she didn't actually follow the directions which were to create a synopsis of an emotion using satire, being my child she twisted the assignment to suit herself but she thought that it might be useful information for all of the parents out there.

If you are not familiar with Littlest yet she is 14, a high school freshman who is already diligently mapping out a plan  for college where she will major in psychology or psychiatry and minor in writing. She has already earned an Honorary Doctorate in Silly.  As her sisters say she was born 30 (which makes her emotionally and intellectually the same age as me, but I think she is actually smarter than me) and totally dry. To get a head start on her career she has begun her own clinical analysis with the subjects most near at hand, her sisters. She says her thesis is not compromised by little sisterliness. Hmm.....

I refuse to consider the prospect that she chose her future career so that she could figure out what's wrong with us. That said......

Stupid Teenager Disorder

Stupid teenager disorder is a widely known issue in our world today. It ranges from being unable to remove ones self from the couch no matter what the circumstances may be. To staying out all night partying. It of course is a very serious problem that must be fixed immediately.

A very important question to ask is how you know if you have this common disorder. Well, there are many kinds of Stupid Teenager Disorder. There is the Brainlessly Believing Your in Love Disorder, The Living Couch Potato Disorder, The Facebook/Myspace is My Life Disorder, The If My Friends Tell Me to Jump, I jump Disorder, the I Know Best Disorder, and many, many more.

One of the most common disorders you’ll see is the Brainlessly Thinking Your in Love Disorder. Hard to spot at first, it is well hidden but soon becomes very clear within days. It’s commonly known as an obsessive crush. The Symptoms are Believing He/She is “the one” after only a very short period of time, talking about  Him/Her to an obnoxious extent, texting Him/Her so often that they can’t carry a conversation with anyone else, and becoming very defensive if the issue is brought up to them. This direct symptom is short lived for the most part, but has a tendency for reoccurrence with every boy/girl friend.

The Living Couch Potato Disorder might just be the most widely known to almost everyone, and is found in up to 85% of people, age ranging from thirteen to early to mid twenties. Commonly known as laziness, Living Couch Potato Disorder usually causes ones legs and butt to almost physically form into their couch, it makes ones brain go fuzzy making it easier for them to ignore orders and other such. And the only way that they will be unearthed from this state is to go get food and other such waste that adds to the growing of the potato-ness.

The Facebook/Myspace is my life disorder is the problem of not being able to remove ones self from the screen. These people have a tendency to revolve around their computers and web enabled phones. Everything they do is constantly updated onto their wall or profile. It can come to such extents that their entire social life is Facebook/Myspace. This disorder is related to Living Couch Potato Disorder, and they can usually occur in unison.

Then there is the If My Friends Tell Me to Jump, I Jump disorder. This is a very serious disorder, also known as peer pressure. This disorder can be the most troublesome. It makes one act and think only as a group, and takes place in things that may be against ones individual morals. It may start small as maybe just laughing at a joke that wasn’t funny and possibly offensive just to fit in. This can lead to many unhealthy behaviors that are hard to drive away. This disorder is best dealt with in its early stages to remove future issues.

The last is the I Know Best Disorder. Widely known as a rebellious stage, I Know Best Disorder is common and doesn’t last forever. It’s hard to treat and may seem to thrive if left undisturbed. But poking at this issue may cause outburst of anger to occur. The disorder needs to be kept under a watchful eye just in case an intervention of some sort is necessary, for it can easily turn into the If My Friends Tell Me to Jump, I Jump Disorder. Its symptoms are questioning authority in ones home, refusal to listen to advice, causing unneeded problems, and is usually accompanied by a never ending bad attitude. This problem will solve itself after a time, but is very long lasting.

Stupid Teenager Disorder is wide spread and found in almost every teenager. Almost every kind of this disorder is accompanied by a bad attitude when asked to go against the disorders symptoms. Each disorder causes one to be defensive about their issue and to most likely deny or ignore the situation. Stupid Teenager Disorder is treatable and will usually wear off after about six to eight years give or take depending one the person.

By:  The Littlest

So there you have it. From a horse's mouth, so to speak. Any questions?

© 2010 All Rights Reserved

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

What Is It About My Face?

Or feet for that matter!

I am not known to be outgoing, gregarious or even talkative. When I'm out in public I beeline my way through stores, have a list and keep my eyes on it. Have a plan and stick to it. If I'm at a mall I do a fast run through  the stores and then double back to second check or get what caught my eye. Employees at the grocery greeting me every time I turn a corner make me nervous. If I'm asked if I need help 9 out of 10 I say no, even if I do. If I pause, if I look up, something happens. Once it does I'm Ok and I go along with it, it can be very fascinating. I never really thought about it until the kids got old enough to notice and remark on it.

"Mom, How come every time we go somewhere, someone tells you their life story?"
It's true.
 I let a pregnant woman cut in line and she proceeds to tell me the whole story of  why she is exchanging shower gifts.... and she is due .....and her doctor said.....but her mom said......

Buying clothes for the girls. Littlest is being a picky pain in the butt. The woman straightening the racks says
" Oh buying for teenagers" And tells me the history of all six of her kids and what they were like as teenagers and This one was difficult....that one is adopted.....used to sew for them.....which one wouldn't wear it.....

Buying swimsuits another sales woman starts on how difficult they can be to fit and continues on through to a story about her co workers ....someone forgetting to lock up ....and at her last job...... but at this one....and ten years ago.......

I'm standing in the deli line. I am focusing sharply on the meat in the glass case like it is a life or death situation because the woman next to me is restless.  She finally comes very close to me, looks down and says "I like your toenail polish". Ok, I have to look up. "Oh thank you" (polite smile). She then launches into the story of the work event she volunteered to cater and how much work it has been but the others really wanted her to handle it because the last time she......and for her neice...... and she hopes that.....because next time....

Wearing the same  polish on my toes, I was in a store concentrating on socks when this big bald guy wandered over to the same area and browsed along side me for a few moments before he looked down, stopped and said "You have nice feet". Ok, don't look up. Mumble, thanks.... and flee!
Yeah, just a little creepy.

Don't even get me started on what happens in doctor or hospital waiting rooms.

Recently, I was heading to the door of the pharmacy. The prescription was in my hand. Usually I would drive through but they were having a sale.  I was mapping out my concentration on the skin care section followed by cosmetics if it looked safe, to keep me busy while I waited. On the sidewalk outside stood a man, probably  in his late 50's, with long gray hair in a pony tail. He was wearing jean shorts and sandals. He kind of looked like a hippi Grandpa. He was digging through a photo envelope and as I approached pulled one out and held it up to look at it closely. When I was passing him I glanced up quickly so I wouldn't run into him. He was looking at me so a gave a quick upturned ends smile and started to pass.
And then he said
"Do you want to see something nice?"
Uh Oh. What on earth does he have there. Should I ignore him and walk quickly into the store to get away? Is this another creeper? Why me? I'm wearing closed toe shoes.

But....He looked nice. And benevolent. I said "what is it"? And stopped to look.

It was orchids. Hanging in a pot. Isn't that beautiful, he asked? He told me he had been growing orchids for 13 years. He told me the history of this particular orchid and how long it was before it bloomed and how many blooms it had the last couple years.And this was the most blooms ever.

"Yes, it was an absolutely beautiful orchid, they are hard to grow and take care of, you must put a lot of time and care into it. "
Yes he did.
"Thank you for sharing it with me."
He beamed, pleased with the appreciation.

It was a very beautiful orchid. I'm glad I got to see it. One second of looking up and smiling resulted in an exchange that lifted 2 mundane trips to the pharmacy to pick something up into a small enrichment of lives.

If we forget to look up and look around and smile sometimes, what might we be missing?
If we remember to do this more often what will we have found?
Maybe some kindness, giving or receiving it will lift your day.

You never know, it could be some really awesome magical toenail polish. MILANI Toe-Matoe Red if you want to try it and see what happens : )

© 2010 All Rights Reserved

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Other Side Of That Rainbow

When Middlest was  three she sat coloring at the table with her fat preschool crayons and told me,
" I'm going to color a rainbow." She gathered the  primary colors in her hand and began to head for the front door. Curious, I opened the door for her wondering if she thought there was a rainbow outside to look at. She tilted her head back to observe the page of blue above her and stretched her arm up high as she could reach. Rising on her tips of her toes, one color at a time she swung her arm in a wide arc across the sky.
This a true story. 13 years later...

This is some of my childs artwork that she would like to share.  Please respect her wishes and do not copy.
Otherwise I will have to hunt you down and rip out your heart with my teeth.....and that would be nasty....

Have A Most Excellent Weekend!

© 2010 All Rights Reserved

Monday, January 11, 2010

I'm Glad You Dance.

  In her sophomore year, which was her 1st at the local high school Middlest began reading a book called Heavy Metal and You by Chris Krovatin.  She was enjoying the book about a guy who is in to heavy metal but falls in love with a "preppy" girl, but on page 22 she found the following lines that really spoke to her. It was his response to the girl agreeing to go on a date with him.

"Do you know what I did there?  Do you?  Well?  
You're Damn Right I Danced!"
She loved it and declared it was her new favorite quote!

   I was still trying to get past the decisions she had made the previous year. This girl is so intelligent and a really beautiful girl. I'm not saying that because I'm her Mom, it's true. I don't know where she came from. But the fact is she is odd and socially awkward.  They began using the words "marches to the beat of her own drummer" in pre-school. Yesterday she came in to me with all of her hair hid in a beanie, wearing a big shirt, jeans and converse and asked if I would mind if she walked around the neighborhood dressed as a guy. She has done this before. She has a terrific figure so I think it amuses her to be so opposite and also to fool people. All of our girls seem to enjoy getting a reaction from the neighbors, which include families with girls the same age who began to shun them in elementary school. This may have been due to Biggest but wasn't fair to the younger ones. Anyway,  I didn't say anything when she put leaves in her hair and a palm frond on her jeans and skipped around the front yard saying she was a pony or found her reciting/singing the entire musical Rent in the backyard at 10 PM. I don't really mind but I felt like saying no. I'm not fond of most of my neighbors, the ones I am fond of accept us as we are, (yeah, the weird people), but sometimes I just long to be normal and not the Mom everyone seems to pity or give strange looks .
  Sending Middlest to a school for the Arts worked out well through middle school.  In most cases the kids were more likely to accept each other as individuals and quirks are an asset. When we discussed her leaving Middlest told me, "Mom, I was the biggest weirdo in a school full of weirdos'."
  When she bombed her 1st year in the Arts high school I couldn't believe it. She may have been burnt out.  It had been 4 years of getting up at 5AM and not getting home till 4:30 PM and a grueling workload. Also the school was for intensive training in one area. She wanted to write but wanted to paint as well and didn't like the competitive atmosphere.  She was in a contradiction. She didn't like the pressure of having to be special and at the same time it is hard to get credit for being special while surrounded by other special people. She gets more confirmation of her talents in the local high school. She told me she just wanted to be a regular kid for awhile.
I can get that. Regular. You mean you want to dress cute and talk about clothes and makeup. You want to join some fun clubs and go to football games. Normal. OK!

  It didn't work out that way. Though I warned her that a regular high school was a whole different world than what she was accustomed to and that she needed to concentrate on her studies while slowly familiarizing herself with this new social system,  I watched in dismay as she quickly wandered from the group her one "normal " friend introduced her to and into the Goonies. ( I'm not picking on them. They embrace this title.) That's the schools name for them. They are the kids who are most accepting of differences. The problem is that some of them tend to give confirmation to each other that succeeding and having goals is not important. Most share a certain level of immaturity. The underachievers. The bad attitudes. Kids who are dealing with real problems in their homes and are acting out. And good kids who just enjoy behaving oddly because they think it "bothers" the more conventional kids. I have told mine, "maybe they are stuck up but they really do just think there is something wrong with you, so what are you accomplishing?" Sensing the danger and watching her grades begin to fall, I asked her to please keep her options open and try not  to identify herself with just one group until she had been at the school for awhile. And to remember her future, she is too bright to mess up her academics.
A short time later she became excited because she met a new boy. A regular one. Involved with sports, etc.
I was a happy for her to be learning how to just be a teenager and not be stuck in a group the whole school looked down on. A couple weeks later on a rainy day I picked her up and she was totally drenched. Soaked thru.
"What on earth happened to you?" I asked.
"I was dancing in the courtyard while it was pouring down. It was great! Everyone was watching from the windows and pointing, some were taking pictures with their phones. It was so fun!"
I felt some dread."Were you hanging out with that bunch again?"
"No, I was by myself."
  As the realization of social suicide soaked me like a rainstorm I actually felt my stomach fall like I was on one of those swinging ship rides, they make me sick. Or like an axe swinging.
This is my dilemma. I love how imaginative and individual my kids are. I have fostered that. When I am with them I am delighted by their freedom of expression and refusal to stay in the box and conform. At the same time it hurts to see people who don't get it look down on them. To see them labeled and hurt by others who can't accept someone who won't follow what they feel is the "right" way to act. And I admit that I am sometimes hurt by other parents attitudes towards me because of my children. That judgment. Especially from the ones who really don't know anything about us at all. And though I hate to say it there are times I have felt embarrassed  by my children. It might go something like this:

"Hi, I haven't seen you in awhile, not since the kids were in gifted class/softball/scouts together. My Kid is starring on the soccer team, on the honor roll at the college prep, and getting scholarship offers already in Sophomore year. How's Yours?"
"Umm. Oh Great! She flunked out of her Art School, joined a club called the Rock A Holics and is dating a boy who thinks he's a vampire! Yeah,  we are moving right along."
  So as I thought it through, what should my reaction be? Should I tell her, That "Normal Boy" would never call again. (He didn't, what a jerk). Why would you do something to call so much attention to yourself? (It will be on YouTube before the end of the day.) People are going to talk about you. (They do anyway)

When Littlest is whining about listening to my music in the car I change it to the the disco station, turn it up really loud, open the windows, and when we come to a red light, dance in my seat. My mother used to tap dance and sing WW2 songs in the kitchen while cooking dinner. And I may be mistaken but I bet a particular brother of mine is not  immune to public antics either.

So....In the end what did I really think about this....?Do you know what I thought next?

 Do you? .....Well?.....

You're Damn Right She Danced!

Quote excerpted from:
Heavy Metal and You
Christopher Krovatin
Copyright 2005 Scholastic/Push

  © 2009 All Rights Reserved

What Having Kids Does to Your Brain Cells

This morning I was trying to use a wand lighter that had been left out in the cold for a little while and wouldn't work. I knew it was just from the cold and while warming it with my hands for  a Very Split Second I thought..........Put it in the microwave & warm it up.

© 2010 All Rights Reserved

Friday, January 8, 2010

What Am I Doing Here?

I've learned a lot in the last three months.

1.I really am a dork.
2.That's O.K. with me.

  In a way I'm still just getting started.  Now that I may have lured some of you in with my festive Holiday banner I hope I don't scare you.  Along with the fun stories I will be including some stories that I  never expected to be the one telling, but that every parent should probably hear.  We have dealt with some difficult things. Many people have dealt with way worse. But maybe someone will learn they're not alone and what your kids do is not always a reflection on you as a parent. I had to wait for mine to grow up before I knew that for sure. That is why I'm here.
When my oldest was little she was so easy that I could smugly think,
"this parenting stuff is a cinch, I must be really good at it. Gee, we should have more kids."
Then she turned 14 and gave us the biggest sucker punch of all time.  You see, I have been that mom with an "idyllic" life. And during that time at the back of my mind, so rare it was easily ignored, very tiny but just occasionally discernable was the thought, "This is too good. When is that anvil going to fall out of the sky."  Well it did. We have and continue to face challenges with bull headed daughters. The truth is I actually like us more now.

 I don't know why our story is what it is. I can only tell it and share my feelings about it. There are stories too close to my heart to take out, but whatever I share here is openly talked about by my family with people we know and nothing that the kids wouldn't share. ( And possibly have on their "Face/Space.") I do try to keep our identity hidden for the sake of privacy . If you happen to recognize us you either know us well enough to know the facts or you don't really know us and you should know the facts.
  Plus the kids writing teachers have always looked at me kind of strange. God knows what they are writing about me!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I Don't Wanna Wednesday

Much like my dishwasher being broken for the past week and not calling a repair person there are things I have not done on my blog cause I don't wanna. Or because.....

Why don't you have a .com?
"Well, I could have. We already have a host for our business web sites and doing it through blogger seems pretty easy. But I wasn't sure what I was going to do and for several years I have been avoiding learning how to do things on our sites because, well....  I don't really wanna. So it would take some explaining to my husband that I can get it for fun but not for earning a living." I'm still thinking about it and will probably continue to think about it somemore.
Why haven't you customized your page?
"Kind of the same reason as the last one and I haven't really had time to devote to that. I am interested in making a button but though I have some understanding of html and creating links, whenever I start looking into how to create  my own stuff I get the same feeling I do when I try to contemplate the universe. Like my brain is going to explode. I picked my template because I like green. So far it's working for me, I might manage to make it more original by the time I'm 80."

Why don't you use Adsense or do promotions?
" When I am here I am avoiding work. To me this constitutes work as it is something to keep track of. However I have not ruled it out indefinitely. It might be something I could use one day."
You like to read. Why don't you review books?
" Easy, I don't wanna read anything that I don't want to read". If I read something good I'll tell you about it.
Why don't you do recipes?
 "I always laugh when other Moms say their kids won't eat real food, they just want junk. The phrase "could we have some real food please?" is often heard coming from my childrens mouths. I am a terrible eater but made sure my kids were fed right. I do have a hand full of real meals that are very basic and nutritious but I am a whiz at frozen lasagna, box macaroni & cheese, and jar spaghetti. Once a week we have eat what you find night, that's my favorite. Kind of like a scavenger hunt where you see what everyone is having when they get to the table. And that's really it, we get to the table. We eat together at least 6 days a week most of the time. And we talk. A lot. We have awesome conversations, that is my gourmet.
Why don't you Facebook?
"It seems pointless as I will not be booking a face."
Why don't you Twitter?
"You really don't want me to get ahold of something like that."
Why don't you use  your/or a name?
"I don't use my name for privacy reasons. And as an example of how my mind works. I could use a pseudonym but for some reason I feel like I would be being untruthful. I could make something up but I don't want to pretend I'm Mary or Sue when I'm not. You know motpg is not a real name."
What do you want to do?
" Share". How great and how hard it can be to be a mom. So I wanna share my favorite song.  I tried to embed it but it didn't wanna, so here is a link. When you get there scroll it to On Up The Mountain. Though it's not what the song is about, with the exception of a couple lines the lyrics describe exactly how I feel about my life and my children."
If you wanna : )

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Friday, January 1, 2010

25 New Years !

   I've been giving the kids a break from my blog for the holidays. I'll get back to them. A lot of people are talking about resolutions.  We don't really do anything special for New Years. The last time I rang in the New Year awake was about 5 years ago when my husband had kidney stones and I had to take him to the emergency room.
    I don't think forward at this time. This week of the year I think back on my relationship with my husband. I believe that was the last New Year I had a resolution. We met the day after Christmas in 1984 and that night he asked if I wanted to go camping for New Years Eve. You see, we kind of defy common sense for how to begin a meaningful and long term relationship, and the advice I would give my daughters.  We not only met in a night club, we fell in love at maybe not 1st sight but definitely first dance. To the Foreigner song   "I  Want To Know What Love Is " no less. Strangely enough we had lived in a relatively small town and went to the same high school but never met. It had to be a magic night because at the time all of my laundry was dirty and I was wearing a pink sweater with white cats all across the front except one black one (anyone remember those?)  that my parents bought me for Christmas and white ankle boots. Both of which he hated but talked to me any way. My friend wanted to leave early. He offered me a ride home. I said "that was fine but I really mean a ride straight home, don't try anything"  and I Meant It! The next night he called to see if I would go out and I said, "no",  "I was too tired because I stayed out late and had needed to go to work at 7 that morning," I still hadn't done my laundry either." But maybe the next night." 
   That's how I really caught him. Intrigue. He claims he considered never calling back but I know better.

The next night we did go out and have been together ever since. That New Years Eve of 84/85  we spent camping with his friends. It was a cold clear night and we had a bon fire. We slept in the back of his truck and he didn't try anything, I Mean It!

That was when I had the resolution that I was gonna keep this one!
Especially when I got home and saw how I looked that morning and he still stayed around.
   That's how he caught me.

When we woke up this morning I realized it was the 25th Anniversary of the 1st time we spent a whole night and woke up next to each other. I was still glad to be there, it is more Awe inspiring to me than the over the top excitement we felt at being in love that 1st New Year.

I won't tell you if he tried anything,  I Mean It! :)

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