I wasn't going to write about this at first but I was prompted by the comment on my previous post 2,1.. by Nicole at
Help! Mama Remote... and also a phone call during Biggest lunch hour where she brought up the subject, I will be getting to ultimately, herself.
The first thing I asked Biggest when she told me in October that she wanted to get married around the weeks between November & December, was are you pregnant? The answer was no, and her Guy said "no, she is marrying me for my health insurance". Really they have been together almost 4 years & were just ready to go at a time when it would suit where they wanted to go for a honeymoon after the holidays without being during them. They thankfully aren't in any hurry to have kids. Of course, neither were we, but there you go. Anyway.....
I have informed my children that they do not have to present me with anything for a very long time. I have been taking care of others my entire adult life. I only have 4 years to go until I am not responsible for anyone and I can't wait to not have to consult anyones life but my husbands. And he feels the same. We have let them know that if anything happens within the next 10 ten years, baby sitting services will be limited to special occasions & illness. I refuse to raise anything else more complicated than a sea monkey. Or maybe a kitten. Those feelings may change but for now I'm standing my ground. I have however thought it through to the point of setting aside some of the girls more special toys & books for my future grandkids.
However, the other Mother in Law was already thinking of grandbabies before the wedding and began on the subject during the reception. I don't grudge her that at all. The Groom is an only child. I can certainly understand her feelings. I had not met the other inlaws before Friday. They live out of town. Before I go further I want to make something very clear. They are Very Nice. I Truly Liked them Very Much. They just have slightly different hobbies than we do. That said.....
This is just my personal feeling, I don't want to ruffle in open air loving feathers. It's any adults personal choice. But I am scared as hell of motorcycles. I have seen one in an accident. My husband borrowed one from a friend as a young man and was injured. My sister is a retired police officer and over the years filled me in on some more details. We both made sure to instill this terror in our children. I will digress to tell the story of the time Biggest had a boyfriend with a bike and avoided getting on it by telling him we would not allow it. I informed him she was 18, she could do whatever she wanted. But that's another point. Sometimes she's a wimp when she doesn't want to have a conflict with someone.
I'm getting to the point, really.
At the reception the other mother in law was in the throes of future grandbaby passion when these words came out of her mouth. "Oh, and just think, and especially if it's a girl, I can get her on my bike and teach her to ride." My brain experienced something like white static. I didn't have to bite my tongue cause I was speechless. I seriously think I felt some kind of internal switch get flipped in my head. (Is there such a thing as Grandmaternal instinct?) Did she just say something about putting one of MY GRANDBABIESon a MOTORCYCLE? !!
Oh No She Didn't!
Later that night Middlest mentioned that the other mother in law was really anxious for some babies. "I know, I answered, but did you hear what she said about the bike." If they think anyone's putting one of MY GRANDBABIES on a MOTORCYCLE it's over my dead body!"
Middlest laughed,"Gosh Mom, what are you gonna have.. a Granny Smackdown?!
Biggest called me today worried that, 1st her new mom in law was going to be frustrated with the non appearance of a grandchild any time soon, and 2cd that when there was one they might try to put it on a motorcycle. I told her to remember that this is Her life and that when she has a child it will also be Hers. Nobody, Including Me, has a say in raising it except she and her husband. Period. That when she felt strongly about something she did not have to keep the peace, but should be considerate and respectful while standing her ground.
All this "Big Ta Do" over a non existent and unplanned child.
Oh God, we really are all nuts.
And I need to ponder where that "switch" came from.
But it helps me remember that I have the most Awesome and Wonderful Mother in Law in the World. I think I will call her and tell her I Love Her right now. And Thank You. for always asking, never presuming, and watching my kids too, sometimes just for fun!
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