Friday, April 20, 2012

Rebel Without a Valid Excuse

Tonight is Littlests' Prom Night. We began preparing well ahead of time. Dress, shoes, accessories. We had an in depth conversation about whether a strapless bra was necessary for her dress. We determined that it had good structure and it really wouldn't be needed. So....last night about 9 PM she says, I think I should get a strapless bra. What? We decided it doesn't need it. Well, she says, I think I would rather have one. Just to play it safe.  Can I get out of school early to get it?

Just the other day at dinner, The SeaMonkey mentioned that the school year is almost over and next year was Littlests' last year. For 20 years our lives have been dictated by school. Everything has to work around school schedules." Finally, he exclaimed, we will be free of the public school system!" "Yay, No More School",  I added,  and then we simultaneously burst into "School's Out Forever", ala' Alice Cooper, while Littlest looked on with a 'yes and I'll be free of you people' look on her face.

 Once the kids were out of preschool we lost flexibility. The SeaMonkey would suggest we take a little time away and I would veto it. We can't do that. The girls have school. They'll get behind on their work. They might miss a test. They can't have an unexcused absence! Why? he would ask. Because they can't! I would answer.  I just knew the entire school staff would stare when I walked by, whispering behind my back, Yes, that's her.  They took their kids out of school to Go On A Trip! No one died or anything. It Was Just For Fun."No wonder her kid was seen wandering around with Steinbeck when she had been assigned great literature, like My Sisters Keeper. And there's a rumor that last one graduated by bribing her teachers with paintings of Tarpon.
 We can't do that, I would explain. We can't break the rules. It's a bad example for the kids. As a result the girls rarely had an unexcused absence. Though I admit last December, when my schedule was nuts and Littlest just had to get some shoes and it was the last day before break, I decided to break my rule and get her out an hour early to buy shoes. I skimmed the check out list at the front office for the 'reasons for leaving'. In a row, doctors appointments and sickness, over and over. I hesitated for a moment and reached for the pen. I wrote: Doctor Appointment. Guilt flooded over me as we walked to the car. I fibbed to the school.  What if they noticed Littlests new shoes and KNEW. They would know I took my child out of school for a frivolous reason and LIED about it. I was a terrible mother.

So  Littlest asked if I could get her out of school early today. She explained that most people didn't even bother to show up and the only reason she had to go was that she had an important test in English, and she didn't slog her way through A Farewell to Arms to fail. But after that there was no reason to be there, and everyone who was would also be leaving early to get ready for prom. I knew this was true. All around town girls would be skipping their final classes and heading out to hair and nail appointments. Nothing would get in the way of the hours of preparation to turn these young ladies into glamour queens. The school, of course, knows this too. They would never condone it. Wink. Wink. Everyone just pretends they didn't know what was going on. After all, it's prom night, at 40 bucks a pop. Wink. Wink. So I said, ok.

I walk casually into the front office behind the two other moms currently checking out their daughters. With only the slightest quaver in my voice I tell the receptionist that I have to check out my child and give her the name. I feel squirmy inside. Am I flushed? Do I seem nervous? Is she going to buy it? If she asks the reason, I'll stutter. I know I'll stutter. She doesn't ask, just points to the check out form. Name. Date. Time. SIGNATURE. Signature. Like an affidavit or something. Is this illegal? How much time can I do for this? But I reach for the pen. I look at the very long list. In the "reason" column is a repeating pattern. Name after name followed by Doc. Appt. Doc. Appt. Doc. Appt. At least 30 names already just on that page. Wow. There must be a plague. I bat excuses back and forth in my head, Doct. Appt? Sickness? Personal Reasons? What should I write? What do I do?  A father comes in behind me. "I'm here to pick up my daughter," he says. And then I made a decision. Yes. I was taking my child out of school for an illegitimate reason. But that's where I drew the line.

I grabbed the pen firmly and signed my name. In bold and plain print I wrote in the last column under Reason For Leaving:

Last Minute Strapless Bra Shopping.

I held my head high, grabbed Littlest, and headed out the door.


I'll be hiding from the truant officers under my bed if anyone needs me.

© 2012 All Rights Reserved by MOTPG

22 comments:

  1. OH.MY.GAWD... I laughed out loud!!! Kudos to you for being honest. I'm sure the school doesn't see a lot of that!

    Thank you for the laugh! I honestly don't get enough of those.

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    1. You're Welcome! I figure any day I can inject some silliness into is a day well spent : )

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    1. Ah, well..I figured they could use a giggle too. I assume they won't put half the female student body in detention, so we're safe ; )

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  3. I LOVED this because I am the same way. I'm such a rule follower. It drives my husband crazy. I hope she had a wonderful time at her prom!

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    1. I don't know why it makes me so nervous. As my husband said, "They're our kids!" She had a lovely time : )

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  4. It's funny - with most things I'm a total rule follower, and yet I yank my kids out of school on a whim on a regular basis. My parents were rabid rule followers too, and yet we almost always went to Florida the week BEFORE March Break. I think it's partly because I really wish school would have taught me more critical thinking and less memorizing and regurgitating, and as much as I love our school and our teachers I don't really believe that missing a few extra days will do us any harm. And when I used to go volunteer in Angus's class and he would burst into tears at the thought of me leaving, I would take him with me and write "emotional blackmail" in the sign-out space. Good for you for not missing a last-minute chance to rebel.

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    1. Our school district is rabid about attendance. If they miss more than 8 days in a quarter they fail it and now if there are habitual tardies and absences they come after the parents. It's like a traffic ticket. You go to court and can get jail time or a fine!
      However, we have decided that if business goes well, we will take one last opportunity to thumb our noses and take all 3 girls to Disney next November during Lits senior year!

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  5. Ok, I offically love you! That's exactly EXACTLY what I would have written! I don't think I could be made any happier by the ending of a post! You go mom!

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  6. That is hysterical! I hope she had a blast!

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    1. Thanks Linda. She did! Besides complaining about the indecent dancing that was going on ; ) Born to be a chaperone, the girl was.

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  7. Bwahahaha! You have just given me courage! I will not lie on my daughter's prom day because she has already asked me to get her an early dismisal.I was cracking up during this entire post. We use to go to Wisconsin Dells every year the first week school began. It was the cheapest time to go. LOL

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    1. Ah, Nicole! I missed your reply first time around. Need to check my email an see how I missed it. Anyway....Go For It! We prefer traveling in our state in winter because it's too darn hot to enjoy anything otherwise: )It's been ages since we did it.

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  8. No you didn't! lol I love it. Did you tell your daughter what you wrote? If so, was she embarrassed?

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  9. No you didn't! lol I love it. Did you tell your daughter what you wrote? If so, was she embarrassed?

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    1. Oh she knew! She thought it was great. One of 'my kids' you know ; )

      Love your new profile pic !!!!

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  10. Oh you big chicken you, I'm cracking up. I'm always afraid to get caught and Rob breaks all the rules. All we have to do Mom, is survive our families!

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    1. Isn't that the truth! I think I'm beyond caring if I get caught anymore. If I survive one more year I'll be like a kid getting out of school for The Endless Summer. I honesty can't wait!

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  11. I consistently write my child will not be in school tomorrow because of a family activity. never had a problem...we take them out for all kinds of trips...more educational going to the Farm show anyway than sitting at a desk. I completely agree with your great literature perspective!

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    1. Our school system has had so many problems that they are militant about attendance. I do understand their point of view. When my sister was on the police force, she served as a school resource officer for a few years. There was a student that was habitually absent and the mother said she couldn't control him. My sister drove to the house, went to his room, pulled him out of bed, handed him his clothes and told him to get dressed and then drove him to school : )

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