Middlest has been gone over a month. I have to say it has been strange but not as strange as I expected. You may wonder, "don't you miss her?" I have to say, No. Not really.
In my everyday life of getting through the day I actually do not miss her at all. I hardly notice she's gone except that it's quieter and cleaner around here and that doesn't seem to be concerning me. I would say that we have made a smooth and seamless transition. Part of it may be that I am very good at removing troublesome thoughts and thinking of something else. ( As I have said before, Any resemblance to my Middle Daughter is purely a coincidence and means nothing ; ) Another part may be that I seldom miss my children much when I am not with them. In the 24 years I have been a parent I have never sent my kids away. They didn't go to summer camp. I never packed them off on a trip to grandparents who lived far away. We had a lot of togetherness in our family and even with the two whole trips my husband and I took alone, up until the past couple years, I think all the time I spent away from my girls would equal less than a month. So no. I don't really miss her presence all that much.
It's also true that she isn't far away and I can see her or call her as often as I would like. That makes it easier, I guess. But I don't. I've seen her three times. I don't call her and check on her and see what she is up to and what's going on. (Biggest gives me reports) She needed to escape from mothering and do things on her own. I find it hard after so many years to break that pattern and when I talk to her it's habitual for things to slip out. Like,
"How much money do you have left in your account?" And, "Why are you still dating that douche?"
So I remain silent and aloof. I do what I do every day with hardly a ripple of change disturbing my pattern.
The answer is no. On a day to day routine basis, I do not miss Middlest.
We are having a Nor' Easter where we live. The wind is kicking up a fuss and it has been Blustery and blowing like...well wind. Really wild, out of control, gusty wind.
She said, "I had to call and tell you this. Biggest is still asleep and I don't have anyone else to tell."
I braced myself. Oh Lord. What has happened. What is wrong.
Mid: I woke up this morning and I thought , "It's 'Windsday'! I feel like going outside and dancing around and shouting to everyone, It's Windsday! It's Windsday!". Like from Pooh Bear.
Me: That's because it is 'Windsday'. I thought the same thing.
Mid: Oh Good. I thought it was just me.
And that. That is when I missed her.
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