Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Test Your Vacuum Cleaner Savvy!!!!!

Are you a savvy vaccumer? Are you conscious of the role your vaccum plays in your life? A vacuum cleaner has myriad excuses uses. If you learn the rules of proper vacuum excuse use
you may even find you never have to use one again they come in handy for more than just carpets.

Here is a little quiz to test your vaccum savvy.

1. When you wash a floor mat without bothering to shake it out and then realize you  have dog hair in the washer, the most efficient way to clean it is:

A. A damp cloth.

B. Your husbands sock

C. Duct tape

D. A vacuum cleaner


2. When your children insist on leaving tiny toys throughout the house the best way to teach them to pick up after themselves is:

A. Call them over immediately to put their things away.

B. Sit down and build your own spaceship or look around for Barbie to see if this shoe works
     with her current ensemble.

C. Leave it there and ignore it until you step on it barefoot and then yell out a curse word.

D. The vacuum Cleaner


3. It is time to empty the canister/bag. You______:

A. Spread newspaper and slowly tilt into the trash to avoid dust.

B. Would rather eat cake than empty the vacuum cleaner

C. Would rather eat dirt than empty the vacuum.

D. Throw away the vacuum cleaner.


4. When your back is in a spasm and your shoulder is cramped, you explain to your husband that it is most likely caused by: 

A. Sitting up in bed late reading a great book you can't put down.

B. Showing your kids how to dance to Devo authentically.

C. Spending way too much time on the computer Blogging.

D. The vacuum cleaner



If you mostly answered A: Nozzle Novice- You have a little more to learn about the vacuum cleaner but practice makes perfect.  Practice This Chant: " *I* don't see any dust on the floor."

If you mostly answered B: Fuzzy Filter - You...  don't actually know where your vacuum is right now. You can take your vacuum or leave it...or possibly forget about it. You are also...kind of Awesome!

If you mostly answered C: Anti Attachment- You run your vacuum it doesn't run you. You will vacuum when and if it suits you. You priorities are straight.

If you mostly answered D: VacuuGuru-  Congratulations! You are a Master of vacuum Cleaner Excuses Uses. This takes great strength and is a highest level of Vacuum Cleaner Unconsciousness.




In Next Weeks Issue....

Proper Care and Cleaning of Table Linens!



So how did you do? What is your best excuse for use of your vacuuming skills? Anymore tips?



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11 comments:

  1. Hilarious! :-))

    PS...I got "D"

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  2. I totally snorted at the Devo dancing mention! Ouch!

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  3. Oh, goody... I'm a guru! What the heck are table linens? I know what bed linens are, but darned if I've EVER sleep on a table. How uncomfortable.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mommie Dearest: Way to Go!!!

    Liz: Yeah, Devo is hard on the back and The Go Go's put a lot of stress on the knees but the vacuum steps on your toes when you dance with it : )

    Ms. A: They're for when you make up the table nice and comfy for the cat to sleep on ; )

    ReplyDelete
  5. Haha!! I'm a vaccum bum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOL if i told you the last time I changed the bag..........when kids leave.toy on floor I call them to pick them up or I throw them away. Muhahaha. lol

    ReplyDelete
  6. Buy toy mouse full of catnip. Tie string to mouse. drag it under the bed and throughout the living room.

    Shake cat outside.

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  7. Nicole: Very good! I don't even want to think about what is in mine. It really does mess up my back and I forget about it because the kids actually do alot of the vacuuming. They Never empty it. With 2 large dogs there have been times I couldn't believe it was still working!

    Beau's Mom: Ha Ha, Perfect!
    Thanks for coming by : )

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am laughing out loud at my desk. Too funny. I, however, do not OWN a vacuum cleaner anymore. Why? (you ask). HARDWOOD FLOORS. Yes, I do sweep a lot. I also can move the piano all by myself.

    ReplyDelete
  9. LMAO!
    Aaahhh, I needed that! MAN! ..uh .. woMAN, I have to get around here more often.
    Dancing to Devo. Check.
    With my mom coming to visit; I am guilty of vacuuming my daughters sock, and one or two cat toys, and thinking, "Well, they should have picked them up!"

    ReplyDelete
  10. Lolo: I might be a whole new level of lazy. I have mostly wood floors too but I use a shop vac ; )

    le Chef: "Well, they should have picked them up!" Yes, Exactly! Glad you enjoyed it. I thought it up while I was vacuuming the dog fur out of my washer : )

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank you. ok, but do I get a free Dyson? ; )

    ReplyDelete

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