Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Because I'm Bad. I'm Nationwide. or at least within a three mile radius.

I am a creature of habit. When it comes to my hot wheels track of weekly errands I pretty much follow the same course regularly and as a result my ways are well known in the places I frequent. I normally go to the grocery store two or three times a week. In the process of these trips I purchase 8 gallons of milk a week and corresponding cookies to match. 12 liters of everything free soda and vast amounts of various juice. At each trip I pick up dinner items for the next few days because I can't plan meals. I end up not being in the mood for something and don't cook it and the meat goes in the freezer and once that happens it is a cryogenic time capsule. I make sure to have enough jar spaghetti, frozen lasagna, taco mix and tuna helper to feed my dear family a nourishing meal every night of the week....almost.

Last Thursday before I went out of town I went to the grocery store to stock up because I would be gone for almost 5 days and I wanted things to be easy for my MIL while I was gone. I used to leave her cash to get what she felt like making but I would come home to find everyone had been living it up on Chinese food and McDonald's and we were out of milk. We must not run out of milk. Particularly if I come home from traveling and I'm too tired to go get more. So I bought the fixings for a weeks worth of possibilities.  I piled my almost $200.00 worth of groceries on the belt and my favorite check out lady took note:

"Wow, you outdid yourself today! You don't usually get this much."
          Yes, I'm going out of town and I needed enough to last while I'm gone.
Oh. What will your girls be doing? Do you let them stay alone yet?

 No! I trust them but I wouldn't feel safe. My Mother in Law is staying.

And then she said:

Oh, Ok! I get it. That explains the groceries.
You don't want your MIL to catch on that you don't actually cook.

yeah. that was it...totally. Not only do i apparently have a Bad Rep  in the Homemaker Society  i came home and my MIL bought the Chinese food and Mcdonalds herself and i have a freezer full of things like chicken leg quarters and ham and Littlest ate all the Grasshoppers. but....i've still got milk : )

i am on my way to the grocery store right now. i will be buying nothing but milk, soda and cookies.
So There.
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23 comments:

  1. I could have written this! I have the same issues with running out of milk and cookies and bread too! It is amazing to me how much milk growing teenagers can drink. Whenever I travel, I start getting antsy at the airport wondering where is the best place to stop on the way home for milk and bread. It's crazy. My freezer is a wasteland of things I didn't cook too. I could write books about my poor cooking and planning skills, and my almost no overlap in what they like picky eaters. I am the queen of soups. They will eat my soups, except the kid who picks out all the vegetables. Sigh.
    At least you are not alone in the bad rep department. We should form a club.

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  2. If I manage one home cooked meal a week, I feel like I've done my job - the rest of the week is trader joe's, mac and cheese and pizza! And proud of it :).

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  3. I just went to the McDonalds in my old neighborhood last week and the drive-thru lady says, "Oh I haven't seen you in awhile". That McDonalds saw me through two pregnancies.

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  4. I can't plan meals right either-I have all the best intentions, but I never feel like what I have on hand! :) What's wrong with cookies? LOL!

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  5. I'm totally with parenting ad absurdum.

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  6. Me too -- and oh my god, I love you people, I feel so comfortable here. That's totally it -- one or two meals with meat, carbs and vegetables and I feel like I should get a freaking medal. And what is this Trader Joe's you speak of?

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  7. I only get nervous if the wine gets low. Everything else is optional.

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  8. I get this. And we're out of milk right now. Sigh.

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  9. 8 Gallons of milk!!!!!!!!WOW!!!whenever I take my kids to my mom I find myself shopping like you do. Its like buying grocery for another house. I don't meal plan either & you just sparked my blog post for tomorrow! Thanks! Glad your back home.

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  10. Mel: The Secret Sucky Shoppers Society ; )

    Peryl: If I add the meat it's homemade in my book!

    mombshell: Oh yes! I had a pizza place I grew up eating at that saved my life thru the first two. It closed before my last and there were days I seriously felt like crying.

    I have been known to eat cookies for dinner. When I feed them Tuna Helper. Nasty stuff!

    Erica: Me Too!

    Allison: I swear everytime I actually cook something real they say they're not hungry.
    This is my half assed grocery instead of the brightly lit Disneyesque one I try to avoid.

    Jane: If I drink wine I will fall asleep before I get my cookies ; )

    ironicmom: I'm proud to say I currently have 2 1/2 gallons of 2% and 2 1/4 gallons of skim. Skim is for meals. 2% is for cookies because I already blew it anyway!

    Nicole: we are a milk loving family. I seriously still drink milk with most of my meals. It just taste's best to me except with pizza. I will stop by and take a peek : )

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  11. You have a way of making us feel like we're your best friend and we're just hanging out!

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  12. There really is something incredibly annoying about running out of milk. I totally get it!

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  13. Silver Strands: That's nice, I like that: ) I hope that is how all of my visitors feel.

    blueviolet: The only thing equally annoying is running out of cookies ; )

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  14. I know that I would be you, 100 % if it weren't for the fact that my 3 children were born with food allergies.

    I have said this often, "kids...you would be growing up on Pizza Butt and MickeyD's, if it weren't for the fact that you all can't eat a thing unless it's homemade."

    This, would be me.

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  15. **snicker**snicker**

    and, so glad to hear someone else drinks as much milk as we do. my mom used to joke about how when my brother and i were both home still that we each went through a gallon a day between drinking and cereal.

    also, the other day i had cheez its for lunch due to lack of good selection in the house. i HATE food planning. i think i will join S-squared. is that okay? it says secret, not exclusive ;-)

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  16. Empress: My poor Middlest is the only one who had a food allergy and it was cranberry. Easy right? She loves cranberry and would sneak it and give herself hives. It eventually stopped so she might have cured herself!

    Elissa: Anonymous Brother N and I used to knock it back too! On Monday I ate brownies for breakfast and lunch. And of course! You can even be president because I hate being in charge ; )

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  17. That sounds good to me! Why cook when it comes all packaged up? Heck, it's better than what I'd cook.
    :-)

    That is too, too funny!

    Leaving my 16 (almost 17 year old) home alone tonight while J and I go out of town.

    I am a brave one......but I'm not leaving food, just cash. HA.

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  18. We had takeaway for tea last night..and toasted sandwiches tonight..

    I've missed you xox

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  19. Angelia: My 15 year old has begged me to start letting them stay alone! Because Nanny won't leave her alone about joining the Marines.

    Farmers Wifey: I love toasted cheese sandwiches. They are lovely! I need to stop by Dear and I will, I've been scattered lately : )

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  20. You should consider buying a cow and teaching MIL to milk it. If youre going to have a bad reputation you might as well earn it full force.

    smiles
    LiBBy

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  21. Doh! How's that for a slam?! I say that just because we're women doesn't mean we have to love cooking.

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  22. LiBBy: Do you know though I kid around about her, my mother in law is so awesome that if I bought a cow she actually would milk it for me!

    Liz: My check out lady knows she can tease me but I seriously had a moment of 'hey, wait a minute!' But I really Do Not love to cook.

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  23. One of the advantages of living practically next to a supermarket is that I could always run down to get whatever it is I need... Except that totally makes me almost never plan ahead!

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