Friday, October 29, 2010


Not exactly.

I really do like Halloween. I love a good ghost story. I've always enjoyed a scary witch and the nice ones too. But for the past few years I've had a little trouble getting in the mood. For one thing, my house is the last one on the road and my house is set back. Really dark and spooky. I rarely get kids at the door. I guess they don't think it's worth it. They don't know that if they are brave enough to venture through...I buy the good stuff.

I have a pumpkin. But when it's 85 degrees outside and 80% humidity you can't carve them until the last minute.  They start to mold and cave in within 24 hours. So, until Sunday I have to make do.

It's just as good. Maybe Really

I don't have little kids to dress up and take out trick or treating anymore. No cookies to bake. No costumes to make. No school parties to help out with. So I have to make do.

They did this without treats.

Really Maybe

Now there is a bright side to all of this. When I look around my house I notice that I really can save a lot of money on decorations.

Again with my housekeeping. This is actually up 2 stories high and I took the picture from the stairs.
Not that I'm defensive about it or anything.
I cleaned it,  maybe really.

Serena Miserena. Yes, she is that Evil.

And of course when the night is all MINE.

What bag is already open? I don't see that. Maybe Really.


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Friday, October 22, 2010

And The Days Go By....

Biggest called me this week. She watched a documentary called The Last Tightrope Walker in Armenia.
Apparently after generations of this art it is down to one boy who must decide whether to continue. She said she was going to go to Armenia and join him and become one too so he wouldn't be the last one.

I said, Ok.

Littlest was bored and she went on the Army website and filled out their psychological /personality profile to see which jobs she would be best suited for. According to her profile, it told her she was best suited for Special Ops  like the Rangers and Green Berets. Then it said woman couldn't enlist in these categories.

I don't know whether to be relieved or annoyed....

She drew this lovely picture of me.

I'm considering using it as my new profile picture.
What do you think ?

She promised to make fudge this weekend....

We overslept and were running late this morning so things were hectic. I drop Littlest off first at her bus stop first and then drop Middlest about a block from her school and let her walk the rest of the way because it takes longer if we get in the traffic and the exercise is good for her.
Mid climbs out mentioning she forgot her jacket. As I sit in the car, waiting for an opening to pull back out I take a moment to catch my breath and watch her walk down the sidewalk in the still gray, early light.
Tall and strong and womanly. She pulls her thick dark hair forward over one shoulder and begins to walk. She is wearing black skinny jeans, a lavender and gray plaid button up shirt, untucked, flopping about her hips and frayed purple plaid converse. Her green messenger bag slung across her back, banging at her hip. A long pipe of rolled up drawing paper swinging from her hand.
And for just a moment I get a pang in my chest. A tiny tightening much like I felt 15 years ago on the first day I dropped her miniature self off at preschool and watched the door close on her back.
As I turn away and begin to pull back out on the road I glance down and see.
The remains of a half eaten chewy granola bar resting on the console in my car......

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Moon Music

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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I LOve RoCks

Yes I do.....

My computer keeps crashing and I can't get anything done.....

So I'm doing something important.....

Lookin at rocks......

Wish they were real....

But they're not.....

Cause I like rocks.......

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Friday, October 15, 2010

365 Days of Foolishness and Some Other Stuff.

Why look at that. It's October 15th. One year since I pushed that button.

When I started blogging I was totally clueless. For real. I had never read blogs before that day. Last year I was troubled about raising my teen girls. I really could not trust my own judgement. I was stumbling blindly trying to figure out what was best. I still am. Last year I had a question about whether to let Middlest date a boy who I felt was too old for her but who was very respectful of her and a huge improvement on her previous choices. I was searching for people discussing this issue. I did not find an answer. I found blogs. The kids are still dating each other. I am still troubled. But during my search I stumbled on a Mom Blog site. I started reading and was curious about these woman. Some who seemed to be just everyday moms. Not  all professional writers or experts. I created an account to read more. It said "list your own blog" So I thought, Ok. first I have to get one. So I did. And it all began pouring out.  I didn't have a goal. My main idea was to share what I experience. Anyone who reads here regularly knows that the point to my blog is that there really isn't a point. I post whatever I'm thinking or feeling for the most part. It has occurred to me that maybe I wasn't looking for answers. I was looking for people who could relate. And I decided to include stories in my blog for others who may be searching for the same thing.  Of course being unable to reign in my personality,  it very quickly also became a place to exhibit the stuff that goes on in my head.
In time I found a couple more communities and more great blogs. I was interested to learn that for many people their blog is a business. I have a business. I didn't want another one. At first I was searching for other parents with teenagers. I found a wealth of wonderful in moms of all ages and types, in all stations and stages of life with children of all ages. I didn't find answers. I did find a part of myself that I had lost as well as a place to voice some of the things that I have no outlet to share in the real world.

Blogging for me has been a wonderful experience both because I have enjoyed expressing myself and also because of YOU.  The bloggers whom I love to read and also those who have been nice enough to take the time to read and follow me. I have found laughter, support and encouragement....and you know sometimes you really shouldn't encourage me ; ) I enjoy the connections I have made and learning about your lives. Whatever the mood I'm in, there is someone who can make me laugh, teach me something new, allow me to share your joys, sorrows and considerable talents. As well as let me know I'm not alone. I know my blog is not for everyone and that just makes me appreciate the people who do drop by even  more : )

The one thing that really frustrates me about blogging is that I wish I was able to spend more time and be more consistent. Nothing drives me crazy like noticing a blogger I enjoy posted something 4 days ago and I missed it. So far my circle is relatively small and there is a reason for that. At this point blogging is an extra curricular activity. When I find a blog I like I really read it. I think about what you have to say and give thought before I comment.  Some days I'm rushed and don't have time to give a thoughtful comment and might wait or people are interrupting me every two seconds and looking over my shoulder which is the other thing that drives me nuts, but I do try.

I have 2 New Blog Year resolutions. One is to try to organize a little better and refine ( or actually create a system) so I can expand my horizons even more.  The second is to try to participate in more fun challenges/theme hop type activities. So far I haven't been able to make it work. I often see things that look fun but they are going on when I don't have the time to put into something specific and I also have an inferiority complex. I sometimes don't participate because I just don't have the confidence to put myself forward and "presume" someone would think it is good. I've had some wonderful bloggers encourage me. I appreciate that more than I can express.

In my "about me" section, I say this:
"In the real world I am not a social or impulsive person. I don't like to talk. I hate phones. I have always preferred to write. It is how I communicate best."

This is entirely true. However. There are many of you that I have come to like so much that if you lived in my real world....I might actually call you on the phone....and have a chat.

Yep, I mean it.

From Nicole at Help Mama Remote, who was the very first person who kindly followed me back and became a lasting Blog Friend to all of the Special  Bloggers I have encountered this year that have made my life a little feeling more like a friend.

* HUGS *

And Thank You.

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Thursday, October 14, 2010

It's 12:30 P.M.

And this is how my day has gone so far.

I woke up at 5 as always.
At 5:30 Littlest refused to get out of bed because she was tired. She is required to go to school today unless she is dieing because there is a reading tonight and she has to attend. She didn't get up until 6:15. We leave at 6:50. She decided to inflict her mood on the entire household.

 I actually cleaned out the fridge. I took everything apart and couldn't remember how it went back in.

Then I spent 10 minutes wandering around looking for a pair of slacks that I know I washed but can't find anywhere and the search was hampered because I couldn't see anything because I had set my glasses down somewhere and......oh, they were on top of my head.

Then I remembered the book the Littlest was supposed to have for class a month ago and that I forgot about for 2 weeks and then had to order and wait 2 more weeks that was supposed to be in on the ninth and they would call me but no on ever did. So I called and it was there and I had to drive twenty minutes to a store I was one block from yesterday doing another errand.

Before I left I got annoyed because my husband took my grocery store discount card yesterday and didn't give it back so I called him and he said he left it by the front door and I thought, oh good and left without it.

So I drove all the way home after the book store to get it. I had to pee anyway.

Then I didn't have a list but even so, like a good wife I remembered that I didn't see my husbands favorite dressing which is the kind that has to be refridgerated, when I cleaned the fridge so even though I had passed it already I made a special trip back to the front of  the store to get it and hit a spill from the deli and ended up in a half split in front of the flower department. I have bad knees already. My first thought was embarrassment but then I looked up and No One was around and the only thing that seemed to hurt was my big toe, which was covered along with my sandals with the chicken slime I slipped on. I made my way to the check out to tell someone but at that moment a corgi came running into the store by itself and the lady I was trying to tell was distracted and ignored me so when the manager came over to see the dog I had to practically yell to get her attention and tell her about the spill before someone really got hurt and was hoping to at least get a paper towel to wipe the sludge off my foot but finally gave up and wiped it on my grocery bags and continued on. Except for when I had to back track to the salad dressing again because I forgot about it.

I had a $10 off $50 coupon and I spent $49.05.
 So I bought 2 candy bars to offset it. The checkout lady asked how I was and I said fine even though my knee was starting to twinge because I didn't want to steal the spotlight away from the corgi who was sitting in a shopping cart with a crowd of admirers waiting for it's owner.

On the way home I Almost got to see this. Two really conscientious moms on bikes. One with a baby in a seat and one with a small child on one of those attached bikes decide to cross at a 5 way intersection against the crosswalk signal almost get creamed by the mayor driving an SUV wearing her signature pink ball cap. But she saw them in time. But not before they scared the hell out me.

Finally I am home. When I opened the back of the car my milk had leaked everywhere.

I forgot to put the dog out before I left and he peed on his bed.

Biggest just called and asked if I would drive her home and I told her no. And she asked why. So I loudly told her why. Then she hung up on me.

It's 1:09 now because since I've started Biggest has called once, my husband has called twice and Mid has sent me two text messages and I've had to stop and bring the dog in because he was barking. I think I left the salad dressing in the car. My knee is starting to throb.

Middlest just sent me a text asking why the day was going so slow.


Why do I smell chicken?

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Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Return

Alone, I curl my feet on the couch snuggling my bare toes in the silky chenille throw. I am missing someone. I set my book face down on my lap, reaching for the mug of tea conveniently close on the table. I hear light footsteps ascending the stairs and  look up with a ripple of hope. Has he returned? Has he come to me? He pauses at the top, turning to gaze my way and  to my relief and joy, his eyes seem to light as they fall upon me. He crosses the room swiftly to greet me, reclaiming his rightful place at my feet.  I am forgiven. Somehow I have been redeemed. With the return of the cool nights, perhaps the memories have pulled him back to the comfort of my embrace and returned him to me.
 Reminding him of our happiness. Recalling him to his place. Warm at my side.

I bow my head and he learns forward to place a small kiss of greeting on my forehead. Smiling I look deep into his glowing amber eyes and see adoration peering back. Yes,it is true!  He could not stay angry forever. He is mine! I reach out my hand to cup his face and as before he leans forward, reaching to meet my touch. Tilting his head towards my hand to meet my caress. The curve of his cheek finding it's place in the cup of my hand and settling as perfectly as a puzzle piece, lost but joyfully found, to complete this scene of domestic comfort. I sigh in perfect content. Complete.

Suddenly his head snaps back, recoiling from my touch! His eyes, blurred with softness only a moment before, instantly flash, burning with fury and accusation. He jerks away as though scorched by my touch. Leaping from his seat he turns from me and strides away,  retreating in haste.  What has happened? Startled and helpless with confusion I cry out wretchedly,  Please don't go, come back to me...Please! Stretching my arms out beseeching, my hands reaching in desperate supplication, I cry out to him to return....

Here,  Kitty.. Kitty... Kitty.....

He glances back over his shoulder with mocking disdain clear upon his face.

Deceitful and traitorous woman. I can smell that dog on your hands!

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Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Looking At The Purple Cow....what.. you can't see it?

I turned 45 this week. Turning 40 was no big deal to me. In fact I barely noticed it at the time because I had more important things to stress about. But to me 45 seems so much more substantial. I feel like I accomplished something. I am more than halfway through now. My life and Possibly My Mind. How do I feel about getting older? What about actually being old? I am letting some others answer that for me because....I like the way they say it.

(I feel strongly about obtaining permissions and have not received one to post the entire poem and honestly I'm getting older every moment so, I did find this video of Jenny Joseph reading the poem herself, and thought, "that is even more awesome", so hopefully that's ok....
Because it's my Birthday....yesterday...)


by Jenny Joseph  Link to Bloodaxe Books', Jenny Joseph Page!

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.

So Maybe I will............

As my husband might say.....; )

Monday, October 4, 2010

I Have A New Blog!

And I didn't even ask for it.

It's called:

Just click  my link and you will be directed to it!

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Saturday, October 2, 2010

Re-Calculated What???

Let me tell ya'll a story
bout a girl named Mid.
A real bright child
was supposed to Gifted.

And then one day
she decided not to try.
Sat on her ass
and made her mother cry

Tears that is...about her grades.

So senior year comes
and she rocked the SAT's
She's proud that she proved .
she knows more than ABC's.

But the classes she was takin'
were apparently a bore.
And her GPA
reflects that sorry score.

Low that is......Like the tide sucking you out.....

The moral of the story is do your work in school.
the colleges don't care if you're brilliant but a fool.
Sorry to say it, but it's really true,
you ain't livin in my basement; when your thirty two.

Or 22....or ever if you don't have a job.........; )

But I am your mother and you know I still love you.

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